Bonnie Z NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION

I was bleeding a lot, and then I became weak and after struggling to breath for several minutes I collapsed near my bed on the floor. I was in a lot of self-inflicted pain when I sort of blacked out, and suddenly there was no pain and I wasn't breathing or crying or gasping for air anymore. I noticed that I didn't even have the need to breathe. I felt sexless and ageless, and eternal. I felt overwhelming comfort and warmth all around me. I felt like I was floating, and my vision was a little weird because I could see all around me, and below and above me as well all at the same time. I saw the ceiling above me and it seemed to be glowing and expanding and opening up somehow to infinite space... And I saw my body below me, and all my blood. There was about two pints of it covering my arm and my floor. But I wasn't afraid of what I saw. I felt no negative emotions. I knew it was me but I didn't care - the peace I felt was so much better than the turmoil I would return to if I went back to my body. I floated continuously up, but just before I entered the light I felt like I should be in my body and so I started falling slowly and trying to breathe again. I started breathing and the pain came back. It was a struggle at first to breathe - I couldn't find my lungs. But when I did I felt my body - and my pain- again and I was back. I tried to move my feet and soon I could move again and I was aware of my body. 

I don't remember communicating with anyone, only a feeling that there was a collective consciousness of souls who all had great love for me. I felt their love emanating towards me and pulling me higher.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            Yes

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        I'm not sure. I wasn't paying attention to time. It was light out when it started and it was still light out when it was over. About an hour or two.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Gradual yet sudden. It didn't happen at an extremely disorienting speed, but it wasn't slowly. I moved slowly as a soul.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Love.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was probably real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           It felt very real, and I've heard many experiences similar to it since then, but I have no other evidence.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Love, joy, comfort

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

It lead me to where I am today, which is a much better place then where I was headed.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Best: The all-encompassing comfort, joy, and love I felt 

Worst: The pain and turmoil I had to experience to get to it, and upon returning to my body.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain                  Describe:            Not directly...

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     YES!!! My whole life has changed. I use to be very strict Christian in my views and I was constantly waging war against myself, and my nature. Now I am much more accepting, loving of everyone, and open-minded.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     I understand the afterlife a LITTLE more now, and I understand death a little more. This experience had lead me to understand more of all the above MUCH more. I know understand that Mormonism is not the true path for me, and that worshiping God isn't my path either, and I understand more about myself and my purpose.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

Since the experience I have made a death compact with my boyfriend.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Amazement, confusion (I didn't know what it was or what it meant until months later)

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

There didn't seem to be time. I felt infinite and worry free.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

I felt universal love and kindness. I felt that there was a safe place for me and all other souls to go, and that when I got there I would have many other places to choose from if I wanted to go somewhere else...

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

Since then I have become much more in touch with my spiritual nature and I am very good with a crystal pendulum. I can contact the dead with a pendulum, the pendulum moves all on its own. I often have visions, though I don't always know what they mean. I have also seemed to be more in touch with the supernatural. I've had several experiences with spirits. I can sometimes tell the future. But I still can't stop time or turn invisible or move things with my mind! Ha, ha, ha.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           Yes

The ceiling was glowing with yellow-white light.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            Yes

It seemed like another world or dimension was colliding with mine, meeting at the ceiling. I almost was absorbed into it but not quite.

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     I have only shared them with people I knew would believe me, people with similar views. I don't know if they were influenced by it. My boyfriend was excited and amazed, and my best friend and her dad believed me entirely, and my best friend was excited and amazed also. I haven't told my immediate family as they are really closed-minded and I can't talk to them easily.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

YES, that's what I'm talking about! 

I was bleeding a lot, and then I became weak and after struggling to breath for several minutes I collapsed near my bed on the floor. I was in a lot of self-inflicted pain when I sort of blacked out, and suddenly there was no pain and I wasn't breathing or crying or gasping for air anymore. I noticed that I didn't even have the need to breathe. I felt sexless and ageless, and eternal. I felt overwhelming comfort and warmth all around me. I felt like I was floating, and my vision was a little weird because I could see all around me, and below and above me as well all at the same time. I saw the ceiling above me and it seemed to be glowing and expanding and opening up somehow to infinite space... And I saw my body below me, and all my blood. There was about two pints of it covering my arm and my floor. But I wasn't afraid of what I saw. I felt no negative emotions. I knew it was me but I didn't care - the peace I felt was so much better than the turmoil I would return to if I went back to my body. I floated continuously up, but just before I entered the light I felt like I should be in my body and so I started falling slowly and trying to breathe again. I started breathing and the pain came back. It was a struggle at first to breathe - I couldn't find my lungs. But when I did I felt my body - and my pain- again and I was back. I tried to move my feet and soon I could move again and I was aware of my body. 

I don't remember communicating with anyone, only a feeling that there was a collective consciousness of souls who all had great love for me. I felt their love emanating towards me and pulling me higher.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

I had no difficulty explaining it when typing it out. The questions were helpful.