Anthony N's NDE
I had just gone
into my bedroom at 9.15 in the evening, I had turned my alarm on for the next
morning and sat on the bed when I had a massive asthma attack. I fell back on
the bed and tried to call out to my parents but didn't have the breath. As the
attack increased in severity I found that I couldn't move. This part was
As I blacked out (I guess through lack of oxygen) I heard a voice by my ear. The tone and cadence of the voice was one of absolute caring, and totally calm which was in stark contrast to the panic I was feeling at not being able to breath. The voice was not mine, and it told me not to worry, it was going to look after me and I was to follow it. At this point I left my body and was looking down on myself lying on the bed with my eyes open. I was now totally calm and unafraid. The voice told me it wanted to show me something and I felt myself traveling very fast toward a light, as I went through the light I found myself flying in another world.
Everything in this other world was made of what I can only describe as liquid light. Everything was alive, the ground, the mountains even the sky. The voice was still with me and during this experience never left me. It told me that where I was was the "real" world and that I had a job to do whilst I was there. I alighted on the side of a bare earth mountain, there were no trees grass or rivers etc. There was light everywhere but no sun, the light seemed to come within everything, even the air.
On this mountain about halfway up was a large boulder. On the boulder was a glowing golden brick (I know how this must sound...) The voice told me that I was to build a garden on the mountain and that every year a brick would appear on the top of the boulder and with the bricks I was meant to build a path up the mountain from the base to the boulder. I was told to plant trees which appeared as acorns etc at the top of the mountain.
I was there for a VERY long time, in which time the voice was always present, I never felt alone and I never questioned why I was there, I was totally at peace, and feelings of absolute joy and unconditional love pervaded me the entire time. I knew that the voice was the most trustworthy person/thing in the universe. As the years passed I watched the trees grow, the flowers and grass I planted also grew, the color of the flowers weren't of any color I have ever seen, like there was 20 different colors in the rainbow there, I couldn't describe them as there's just no frame of reference to what they looked like.
I was taught a lot of things, and was able to, for want of a better phrase, "see into people's souls" and understood in an instant all the ramifications of all our actions on each other, that anger is borne of pain or fear, and many other teachings about what I now think of as the human condition. And then I saw everyone on the planet interconnected on these lines, and a feeling of such overwhelming love and empathy went through me I felt like my heart was going to explode.
The last brick appeared on he boulder some 2,500 years after I had first arrived. I was aware of every year, this was not dreamlike, it was "real time" if that makes any sense. The path now stretched form the base to the boulder but over the years the boulder had gradually changed shape and now looked square like some sort of alter. The trees I had initially planted had grown and the bows and braches had arched and the trunks thicken to form what I can only describe as a temple at the top of the mountain. The voice told me that the first part of my job was finished and I now had to set foot upon the path. I went to the bottom of the mountain and put a foot onto the path.
At this point the most searing, unbearable pain tore through me but the voice told me not to step off the path. I asked what the pain was as it wasn't physical, it felt like (and this again sounds bizarre) but it felt like a spiritual pain. The voice told me that it was the pain of the least sin I would commit against my own soul. It was conveyed to me that this didn't mean sin in any religious sense, but specifically it was the pain of the wound to my own soul that I myself would commit in my lifetime. I continued up the path and each time I put stepped, the pain was worse than the one before until nearing the top I told the voice I could finish.
The voice was kind and patient and said that it was with me and that I would finish but I needed to learn the lessons it was teaching. I got extremely angry at this point and asked why I had been brought here for all this time in order to experience such terrible pain. I continued to the end of the path with the encouragement and presence of what was now I understood to be some higher spiritual being. I reached the entrance to the tree temple and went inside and saw the only other being I saw the entire time I was their. It had its back to me and was kneeling as though in prayer.
I was angry again and I rushed up to this figure saying that I now knew that everything was real so why did I have to experience all the pain. The figure stood up and turned around, and it was indescribable, a being of perfection and what I can only be described as made out of pure love. I knew that this was the source of the voice. I was dumbstruck after all that had happened and could only say "I can see you." The being touched me on my cheek gently, and said simply. "And now you know. It time to go back now." I was also told that the garden I had created would exist there forever, and I would return there one day.
As I walked
with the being back out of the tree temple I saw for the first time other people
coming to the garden and sitting on the grass, looking at the flowers, talking
and laughing. The being smiled and said "See what you've accomplished here." I
felt completely overwhelmed, but I was then immediately transported back into my
body, which I immediately felt as being incredibly heavy and cloying and almost
unnatural. The asthma attack had totally passed, and I checked the clock which
said 9.23pm. The entire experience had taken about 8 minutes from my initial
attack to being "back". I've never reported this before as I guess most people
would say it was an hallucination. I can only say that it was more "real" than
anything I have experienced in this world.
Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Uncertain
What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience? Completely conscious and alert.
Was the experience dream like in any way? No, not at all.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
When looking down on myself, I was just pure consciousness with no body, in the "other" place I had physical form, but my body like everything else there was like it was made of liquid light.
Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises? One voice I conversed with over a considerable number of years.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Yes
Describe: It was extremely brief and fast.
Did you see a light? Yes
The light was alive.
Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes
The voice always, and eventually meeting the owner of the voice at the end and then seeing other people coming into the garden when it was finished.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? Yes
The effects that everything I had ever said or done had those around me.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes
A defined other "world"
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes
I was there for over 2500 years in my experience.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
Everything is of one, everything is part of everything else. On a more practical level whilst I was there any knowledge I wanted I immediately knew. When I came back a lot of this knowledge stayed with me, i knew the answers to things intuitively without having to study, I ended up taking Philosophy at Oxford university.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you become aware of future events? No
Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body? Yes
I was told it was time to come back. I had reached an understanding that I had completed what i had been brought there to do.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Yes
I have been visited by people as they or just after they have died, including family member and friends of my family. This has happened both in experiences whilst asleep that are very different from dreams, and consciously whilst awake. I know what that sounds like, I don't regard myself as being especially religious or indeed spiritual. Bizarre as this must sound after everything I've written above, I regard myself as being a rational, down to earth and practical person. I don't buy into any new stuff etc. But the experiences I have had and continue to have are (sometime annoyingly) real in my experience. I make no claims as to their provability but I have passed on messages for various people in the last 15 or so years, it doesn't happen often and I certainly do not make any personal gain from it, quite the opposite in some cases as I have been ridiculed (understandably I guess )on some occasions.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes
I'm certainly not afraid of death, nor do I regard it as the end. I am very aware of my own actions and how I relate to others and the world in general.
How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices? I am much more understanding of others, I don't regard myself as particularly materialistic in myself even though I work as a marketing manager in industry. Money and "things" don't have a lot of meaning for me. People are the most important thing there is.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain
It happened too early to be able to tell what would have happened if I had never had it. It has had a large impact on who I am.
Have you shared this experience with others? No
What emotions did you experience following your experience? Sadness, strangely. I was sad that I was back in this world and not there.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? I was so young when it happened that for a number of years afterwards I looked on the future as being something to have to get through in order to get back there, I have come to an understanding and a peace with this in the last few years. The best thing is that I know that this is not all there is.
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? I know it sounds insane!
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? No
The sheer emotion and depth of it is very difficult to convey accurately.