Valerie's NDE

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  Uncertain

      Explanation:  during brain surgery...so I am sure I was given something to knock me out....the body temperature was dropped and the heart rate slowed, for the surgery itself....to prevent the excess bleeding that can occur....

Experience description: 

      I SAW THE FIGURE OF A MAN MOVING UPWARD , AWAY FROM ME....I REMEMBER THINKING HOW WARM AND SOFT HIS ROBE LOOKED, ALTHOUGH IT WAS VERY OLD AND TORN, WITH RAGGED HEMLINE AND A TORN PLACE ON ONE SIDE....IT WAS THE WARM COLOR OF A GOLDEN BEIGE.....I REMEMBER THINKING THAT IF I COULD TOUCH IT , IT WOULD BE SO SOFT AND WARM........I FOLLOWED HIM AS HE MOVED UPWARD AND AWAY...I WAS EAGER TO CATCH UP AND JUST TOUCH HIS ROBE.....I BECAME AWARE OF A GLOW...A LIGHT. AHEAD AND ABOVE, BEYOND HIM, THAT WE WERE GOING TO THE LIGHT.....AS IT BECAME BRIGHTER AND BRIGHTER...I WAS SO INVOLVED IN HIS WARMTH...I DID NOT REALIZE WE HAD COME TO THE LIGHT...WHEN I LOOKED UP, HE TURNED AND LOOKED ME IN THE EYE...THE LIGHT WAS BEHIND HIM, THROUGH AN OPEN DOORWAY, KINDA LIKE AN OPENING INTO A WALL BUILT OF STONE AND MANY VINES AND SHRUBS ON EITHER SIDE....HE TURNED AND LOOKED AT ME. LOOKED ME IN THE EYE , BUT THE LIGHT WAS BEHIND HIM AND IT WAS LIKE LOOKING AT SOMEONE STANDING WITH THE SUN BEHIND THEM, ONLY MUCH BRIGHTER AND MUCH MORE DETAILED COLORS...HE WAS INDISTINGUISHABLE EXCEPT TO SEE HIS EYES AS THEY LOOKED STRAIGHT INTO MINE....I HEARD VERY CLEARLY , IN MY OWN MIND...BUT NOT MY THOUGHTS...INSIDE BUT NOT ME...I HEARD ,"THE PRAYERS OF THE RIGHTEOUS ARE ANSWERED" ,I FELT THE LOVE WRAPPED AROUND ME SOLID AS ONLY TOTAL UNCONDITIONAL LOVE CAN BE............LOVE THAT I CAN NOT ADEQUATELY EXPRESS IN WORDS...LOVE THAT IS BEYOND KNOWLEDGE.. A PERFECT AND SOLID AND TOTAL LOVE DIFFERENT THAN WHAT WE UNDERSTAND HERE ON EARTH...I UNDERSTAND THINGS ABOUT JUDGMENT AND THE PERFECT JUDGMENT WE ARE TO JUDGE OURSELVES..AND HIS JUDGMENT IS RIGHTEOUS...THERE IS NOT ARGUING, NO DENYING, THE JUDGMENT IS WITHIN OURSELVES, IT IS ONE IN US AND IN HIM...IT IS THE SAME......IT IS TOTAL AND COMPLETE...I FELT THINGS FROM MY CHILDHOOD SO REAL SO BEAUTIFUL...YET SO SIMPLE, THE SMELL WAS PURE AND THE WARMTH AND FEELING WAS LIKE A SMALL CHILD WITH WARM SUNSHINE ON MY BACK AND THE FEELING OF COOL GRASS ON BAREFEET..THE MEMORIES OF GOODNESS AND PURITY...INNOCENCE...ACCEPTANCE....LOVE....I DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE THERE..I WANTED TO GO INTO THE WONDERFUL LIGHT...I WANTED TO TOUCH HIM. TO FEEL THE WARMTH OF HIS ROBE AND TO STAY THERE, BUT I UNDERSTOOD I COULD NOT ENTER INTO THE LIGHT , YET...HE WAS BLOCKING THE ENTRANCE WITH TOTAL LOVE AND HIS EYES WERE LOVE ....I KNEW THAT THE GLORY OF GOD WAS WHAT I WAS LOOKING AT, AND I COULD NOT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO IT...LIKE LOOKING INTO THE SUN. WHEN I HEARD THE WORDS , I IMMEDIATELY CRASHED BACK INTO MY BODY WITH THE MOST AWFUL PAIN AND WEIGHT AND BURDEN...I CAN NOT DESCRIBE THE PAIN THE COLDNESS, THE HEAVINESS, AND THE SEPARATION FROM LOVE INTO NOW.......I AWOKE PRAYING AND THANKING GOD , THAT SOMEONE RIGHTEOUS HAD PRAYED FOR ME...I DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE SCRIPTURE AT THE TIME...THAT ALL WHO ARE IN CHRIST ARE MADE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD , THOUGH CHRIST JESUS....SO I WAS PRAYING THANK YOU GOD THAT SOMEONE RIGHTEOUS HAD PRAYED FOR ME...I HAVE NOT STOPPED PRAYING FROM THAT TIME UNTIL NOW , AND I TEACH THE POWER OF PRAYER TO ANYONE WILLING TO LISTEN...I WILL SOMEDAY BE GIVEN THE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE INDESCRIBABLE PERHAPS, BUT THE MOST I HAVE EXPERIENCED IS THE ABILITY TO LET LOVE FLOW THROUGH ME TOWARD OTHERS....TOTAL UNCONDITIONAL LOVE ..TOWARD ALL OTHERS....THERE ARE MANY MORE CHANGES I HAVE EXPERIENCED SINCE THAT TIME..AND I HAVE MUCH LEARNING TO DO..I WAS RAISED IN THE SOUTHERN BAPTIST FAITH, AND DID NOT FEEL LIKE THESE THINGS WERE STILL TODAY,,,,BUT NOW I BELIEVE , BECAUSE I KNOW.....GOD IS LOVE AND HIS LOVE IS TOTAL AND SOLID AND UNCHANGING.....JUST BELIEVE...

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

      What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate?  there are NO HUMAN WORDS  to describe the perfect LOVE , the colors and the LIGHT, is indescribable in our terms....there are some things that can not be said, and some things that should not be said...there is a sense of KNOWING and a feeling of KNOWLEDGE that can not be spoken in words...the overpowering total LOVE..... is very hard to describe.

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Uncertain

      Describe:  the time of the experience...was during brain surgery...an aneurysm on the main artery to the brain...I had been told it was to deep and could not be operated on..that there was only one surgeon who might attempt to do the surgery....and that there was not technology to do the procedure......I was aware of the dangers and the risk involved....I had been told the aneurisms usually burst a 1 centimeter and this one was only 9 tenths of a cm.....so I was aware of the risk...

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  I was in surgery...and had been placed in a controlled death simulation...so as to perform the brain surgery...the flow of blood had been almost totally stopped to the brain to prevent hemorrhage, and stroke...the aneurysm was on the bifurcation of the main artery supplying the brain with blood and oxygen...what seemed like only moments to me was in fact 7 hours....

Was the experience dream like in any way?  NO, there was no feeling of this being anything, other than; more real than real is here...in fact it is much more real than here...

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Uncertain

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:  I was not encumbered by weight or body, but did not see my self...my eyes were fixed upon Him and His robe and the other things around me..

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  LOVE.....TOTAL SOLID LOVE , PERFECT LOVE....LOVE BEYOND KNOWLEDGE...LOVE AND THE experience of LOVE that I can not really put into human words....there are no words to express the feeling....solid TOTAL LOVE

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  what I heard....I KNEW...more than hearing ...it was a knowing inside...and I heard Him speak inside of me , yet it was Him...

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I followed Him and was unaware of my surroundings until He stopped and turned...He stood in a doorway that lead to LIGHT.

Did you see a light?  Yes

      Describe:  I wish I could, but words fail me...every light and one light....sorta like the light of the sun but more , because it contained all Light...there are no words , and there are no comparisons to it...it was and is THE LIGHT.....LIGHT with feelings and brilliance and LOVE....

Did you meet or see any other beings?  Yes

      Describe:  HIM,

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  Yes

      Describe:  Judgement IS RIGHTEOUS AND COMPLETE

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I have verified most of the experience by scripture...some I have not tried to verify at all...there is no need for it is. 

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  Yes

      Describe:  moving upward, past levels of light...To the entrance of LIGHT....a walled enclosure and a doorway through the wall....the Great Light was beyond the door....

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Uncertain

      Describe:  what seemed like only moments to me ...was in fact 7 hours...but did not realize it until after coming back

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes

      Describe:  the doorway is narrow and few will enter into it....the Way has been made....but many are deceived and will not enter in....

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  Yes

      Describe:  I had no option if I could go in or not...is was and always will be up to HIM and the judgment of righteousness

Did you become aware of future events?  Yes

      Describe:  I am not allowed to repeat anything, except that it is soon,,be prepared and practice righteousness....doing good and Loving God and man...look up....IT IS ALL TRUE AND HE IS LONGSUFFERING TOWARD US, not willing that any should perish....

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  Yes

      Describe:  I did not want to leave, but it was good at the same time...I understood that and there was no reason to question it...it was RIGHT AND JUST...

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  I HAVE BEEN GIVEN SOME GIFTS AND THEY ARE NOT FOR ME , BUT THOSE WHO ARE IN NEED AT THE DISCRETION AND TIME OF GOD. IT WOULD BE VAIN OF ME TO THINK I HAVE ANY CONTROL EXCEPT BY PRAYER AND SUPPLICATION TO GOD...praying on behalf of others and letting God do His perfect Work...

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  I had not believed the gifts we are taught of in scripture were for today.....now I believe, I know! HIS Word is True down to the smallest jot ...and is for everlasting to everlasting....it will always be true...

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  very much so....I BELIEVE ...I practice and practice, and practice HIS Word in my life...forgiveness, love , compassion, repentance, prayer, worship and praise...

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  doubt and unbelief usually , sometimes doubt about my sanity....sometimes just shrugged off as unimportant....

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Love for all others, fear and respect for GOD. There are many feelings and emotions that I receive now about others , but the most overwhelming thing is COMPASSION.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  THE BEST PART....THE LOVE THAT PASSES KNOWLEDGE

THE WORST PART.....THE SEPARATION, WHEN I CAME BACK

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?  SO MUCH MORE....TIME IS SHORT AND WE MUST BELIEVE.....GOD IS LOVE AND HIS LOVE IS FOR ALL....WE CAN TRUST AND BELIEVE....IY IS MORE REAL THAN REALITY......MORE TRUE AND MORE ETERNAL..........JUST BELIEVE!

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  Yes

      Describe:  I have learned forgiveness and , I have learned that to love others is , in fact LOVE IS something that moves through us and not from us....I HAVE LEARNED COMPASSION, PATIENCE, JOY, CONTENTMENT IN ALL SITUATIONS, FOR THERE IS ONE GOD....ONE HEAVEN....AND ONE WAY....IT IS THROUGH HIM.....JESUS the CHRIST, the SON of GOD,......a free gift of LOVE...

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  Uncertain

      Describe:  There have been events that have been close ,,,,and usually it is when I am in prayer in the privacy of my own room....sometimes at church...once or twice completely unexpectedly...and without my actively thinking about it at the time...MANY TIMES i HAVE FELT THE PRESENCE OF A TYPE OF CLOUD AND SPELLED THE WONDERFUL SMELL... (KINDA LIKE ROSES, BUT MORE PURE, more sweet and simple)  I have experienced many things that would be hard to explain to anyone , the thoughts and pains of other people...the hurt and the broken heartedness of the lost...the compassion for the ones without compassion , and Love for those without love and those who are unlovable...

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes

      Explain:  some what , but there is much , much more unsaid...and unexplainable

Please offer any suggestions you have to improve the www.nderf.org questionnaire?  I pray that I may be allowed to share more soon...there is so much more, yet.....it is so simple really....just BELIEVE , Love the Lord our God , with all our hearts and souls and minds, and LOVE  all others as ourselves.....and remember that His judgment is righteous...and perfect and without doubt , we will all face the judgment of LOVE...the final judgment is eternal....