Tim's NDE

   
My First Near Death Experience

I remember this one time when I was about two and a half years old (1974-1975, somewhere in Texas) , it was my first death experience. It was late, but not late enough to go to bed yet. Mom had a guy friend over, they were talking in the dinning room. Dad was away at work (as usual). All of us kids were in the living room watching television. Mom ordered us to stay in there, and to not bother her for any reason, or else. Anyway, as we was watching the TV, an ad came on stating that the next show showing was going to be in color (remind you that the year was 1975). The only color television set that we had was in mom’s bedroom. After several minutes of my brothers talking my sisters into asking mom, one of the older sisters did go into the dinning room and ask.

I remember hearing screams, and glass breaking, then crying. A couple of minutes later, mom came out and said that we could, as long as we did not leave the bedroom, and as long as we were so quiet that she didn’t even know that we were here. My sister, whom was still crying, was painfully holding her left arm. Then mom threatened us for a couple of minutes. Afterwards, she marched us into her bedroom, and sat all of us down on the floor. Her bed was off limits, nobody was aloud on it, not even to sit. She turned on the TV, changed it to the correct station, and then turned the volume down to where you could just barely hear the loud parts. She then again threatened us, telling us how much she would punish us if we even dared touch the volume control. As she left, she turned all of the lights off except for one (which was a lamp in the corner) and opened the door all the way. She then went and rejoined her guest.

We all watched with excitement as the movie began, starting with the colored peacock, it looked so neat. After several minutes into the movie, I became bored with it and wanted to go play. Knowing that I couldn’t leave the bedroom though, I decided to play on the bed. I climbed up onto it and began jumping up and down. Oh, it was so fun. I heard one of my sisters harshly whisper to me to stop jumping on the bed, and to get off. Of course however, I did not want to stop, so I ignored them and continued jumping. The youngest of the four older sisters, Donda, decided to force me to stop by pushing me. She did it the correct way in all, as I would have fell safely onto the bed. But, because I didn’t want to stop, nor did I want to fall, I twisted my body in efforts to stop the fall. In doing so, my feet got caught up in the already tight covers and it slung shot me downward, off the backside of the bed. This is where things began to get strange.

As I began to fall, time slowed down to extremes. Everything was moving so slowly, it was neat. My vision then split, as I was now able to see from two different points of view. One point of view was from my eyes, of course. The other point of view, however, was from about thirty to forty feet up, looking straight down onto me. It was as if I was in the sky above the house, and the roof of the house was simply not there. I could see every room and every body in the house.

As I watched from this newly gained point of view, I saw that I was still falling off the side of the bed. I seen from my eyes’ point of view that I was falling toward a wooden end table in the corner, near the head of the bed. Looking at the table, I seen several items on it, a lamp which was on, an alarm clock, a couple of paper back books, some wooden coasters, and a blue swirled glass almost full of tea which was sitting on the corner of the end table. Still falling, I saw that I was going to fall onto the glass. Watching, not being able to do anything about it, I simply looked. I seen that the glass of tea had some ice cubes in it, and that they were almost completely melted. The glass was about 2/3rds full, and had a lot of condensation lingering on the sides of the glass. Still falling, I saw that my face was going to hit the glass.  Just as the rim of the glass touched my skin, I looked into the glass to see the calm liquid vibrantly shatter and explode into my eyes as my forehead crushed onto it. From the above point of view, I saw my body continuing to fall, as my head crushed through the glass, then slammed onto the corner of the wooden end table, then onto the floor, as my body’s weight followed through.

I then heard a very loud frightening scream, as my sister (Donda) screamed in terror. I seen everyone jump up and scream along with her as they looked and saw my body lying there on the floor, bleeding like you wouldn’t believe. I saw mom in the other room, instantly getting upset, she quickly stomped her way down the hallway and into the bedroom. As she entered into the room, she looked over at me, and instantly changed from extremely upset to total fear. She ran over to me, picked me up into her arms, yelled at someone to turn on her bathroom light (her bedroom had its own bathroom), and then quickly carried me into it. She sat down on the commode, with me in her lap. She grabbed some towels and began wiping off some of the blood, trying to soak it up faster than it was coming out, in efforts to see just how bad it was. As everyone was standing in the bathroom doorway, Donda squeezed through, held up a large band aid, and asked, crying, “Momma, Momma will this help? Momma, Will this make him all better?”

Mom continuing to wipe off the blood from my face, managed to clear my eyes. Looking out of them, I was able to see my reflection in the mirror. My skin was a pale gray color, and the blood was so red, so dark. I seen my forehead in the reflection also, the skin was ripped apart, I could even see the white of bone. It even looked as if part of the bone was broken and chipped off. At that time, the blood flow slowed down, and mom was able to wipe a lot of the blood off, giving her a really good look. She then answered Donda, saying in a low, sad, crying voice, “No honey, I am afraid that it won’t.” Everyone stared crying, even mom, as she gently rocked me back and forth in her arms.

My vision then went totally to the birds eyes view. I just watched. I remember feeling satisfied and happy, as if I was in a play or something and performed exactly as I was suppose to have. But then, I felt as if I was not the only one watching, as I felt that I was being watched by tens of thousands of other people. It felt creepy. Curious as to who was watching me, I turned around to look. To my surprise, I saw nothing, and I mean that also. I saw nothing. There were no stars, no clouds, no sky, no air even, it was simply an enormously large and vast void of nothing. I then began to fall into it, uncontrollably, and at a very fast rate.

After a couple of seconds, I could feel a tingling sensation, similar to the sensation of being sprayed with a very fine mist of cold water while trying to sun bath on a really hot day. It felt rather good actually, even though it only lasted for a couple of seconds.

Still falling, I became curious about my body, so I looked down to see it. I did not see a body, not one of flesh and blood anyways. But instead, my body was made up of a bluish green colored aura of light - more green than blue. But even though it was light, it did not seem to have a source, it was simply a glow of light. I felt very familiar with it, as I remembered that it was normal, and paid it no more attention.

Several seconds later, still falling, everything became so clear, as I was able to see for miles on end, even though there was nothing to look at. It seemed as if I was previously falling through fog, and just didn’t realize it, and now I was through it. The sight of the vastness of the void was breathtaking.

After several minutes, I seen in the far distance ahead of me what appeared to be a very thin line, stretching horizontally at eye level. I was falling straight toward it. Looking at it, it stretched outward on both sides for what seemed like forever in distance. The closer I fall toward it, the bigger it got, slowly stretching vertically, getting taller and taller by the second. The closer I fell toward it, the brighter it got also. It was pure white. It almost hurt to look at it. Falling, getting really close to it, I could begin to hear the sound of electricity as it began to hum. It sounded like a million locus’s chirping their annoying fluctuating noise that they make. After a few seconds, as I was getting extremely close to it, the sounds were deafening. It sounded so awful, so loud. Looking at this great white wall of light, I couldn’t help but wonder what was going to happen as soon as I hit it. The light was so thick and bold that the wall appeared to be solid, and my rate of decent never slowed. I was still falling as fast as ever. However, as soon as I did collide into it, the light simply shut off, and the sound was instantly gone, as the wall of light was only as thin as light itself. Continue I fell. After several minutes, I fell through another wall of white light, then another. I fell through about eight of them.

After falling through the last one, I fell into what seemed like clouds. The only light I could see was coming from my own bodily aura. As I fell into these clouds, my light was restricted and I could only see the fog like cloud environment around me. Several seconds later, I fell through the clouds, entering into a tunnel. I fell about ¼ way into its diameter. I then stopped falling. I simply floated there inside of this unbelievably large tunnel.

Looking around, I seen that a golden cast of light was coming from one end of the tunnel, which sort of lit things up, highlighting the edges. Looking at the walls of this tunnel, due to the golden cast of light, I was able to see that they were made up of clouds, bubbly cotton ball type clouds.

Looking down the tunnel, in the direction opposite from where the light was coming from, I saw that the tunnel and everything that was in side of it simply faded away into the darkness. Looking at the end where the light was coming from, I saw that the tunnel was indeed very long, as I was unable to see the end from this view. Looking around inside of the tunnel, I noticed that there were things in it.

These things were various size balls of electric fire. They were magnificent, and their colors looked so lively. The closest that I have yet to come to see anything even close to those colors are from the various colors seen when you arc electricity through tubes of various gas’s, and still, it doesn’t even really come close. Each ball of fire burned in its own unique set of colors, and they were of all different sizes. Looking at these balls of fire, I noticed a very thin, dull, sandy gold string was attached to it, and the other end was attached to another ball of fire, and so on and so forth, which seemed as if all of these balls of fire were attached to one another.  Looking at one of these strings, I noticed that it appeared to be moving. Wanting a better look, I telescopically zoomed in with my vision (which also felt like a normal and natural ability).

As I zoomed in, I saw that the string was actually a row of people, and the people were moving. They were not of flesh of course, but had bodies of sandy golden dull light. I noticed that they were coming out of one ball of fire and going into another. I also noticed that there were larger souls position stationary along their paths. They seemed to be guiding the people to where they were supposed to go (you go here, you go there, you go to that one over there, etc.…). I noticed that some would come out of one, loop around and go right back into the one they just came out from. I also noticed that overall, everyone seemed to be generally moving toward the end of the tunnel where the light was coming from.

I then looked at the walls of the tunnel again. I was curious, so I forced myself to move closer to it. The closer I came to the walls of clouds, the more negative and afraid I felt. Unable to bare it any longer, I quickly retreated back into the tunnel, towards it center. As I did, the more toward the center of the tunnel that I went, the more positive, the more comforted, the more secure and loved that I felt, which relaxed me. As I relaxed, I floated back to the spot where I originally was at. I then looked at the end of the tunnel where the light was coming from. I remember that it felt warm and comforting. This of course made me curious, so I began zooming in.

As I zoomed in, I could not believe how long this tunnel actually was. It was huge. And the amount of balls of fire that were in it, my goodness, I could not even begin to count. It had to be in the millions, at least. As I zoomed in, I looked at these balls of fire, and began to realize that they were life (life as in 'everyone's life here on earth right now is one life', Not life as in 'an individual life form'). Each ball of fire represented a totally different and unimaginable reality. Each one was unique, each one was so different from the other. I later realized that they were actually realms of life. Each ball of fire was a different realm of life, which had it’s own unique reality. I noticed that the closer I got to the end of the tunnel, the more bold and powerful the souls from the realms were becoming from having lived and experienced so much.  I realized then also that death was not a part of life, but rather, life was a small part of death. I have since then realized too that so many people have misguided and obscured beliefs about death, which is understandable I guess, since not many people know what is actually in death and what death is actually about. They only know life, because they have no memory of anything else (there is a reason for this also).

Anyways, as I zoomed in, I finally reached the end. The end of the tunnel opened up like a flask, as if I was inside of a funnel coming out of the larger end. The tunnel opened up to a stoned brick wall. The bricks of this wall were made up of gold. I saw two very tall and slender doors in the middle, and stairs that outstretched into the tunnel.  I noticed that one of the doors was opened a little, which allowed me to look in. I was unable to zoom in any further, but was able to look inside.

Inside, I saw light blue fog, which looked like a foggy spring morning. It looked so peaceful and rich. I noticed that the bricks were made up of transparent gold, as I could see through them. However, I was not able to see beyond the wall. I noticed that as the light beyond passed through this wall of transparent golden bricks, that it cast a golden tint out into the tunnel.

Looking onto the steps, I noticed that one of the really big souls had finished all of the lives, and was allowed to go beyond. As he floated up to the bottom step, he manifested into flesh and walked up the stairs towards the door. He would not have been considered to be a human though, not to us here any ways. As he walked up the stairs, I watched with such pride and joy for him, as he boasted with pride himself. He did in fact accomplish something great and deserved it.

At this time, my attention was instantly snapped back to where I was actually floating at, as I noticed that two of the larger guide souls were approaching me. One appeared to be very happy, the other appeared to be angry, but it was felt (emotionally attuned) that it was not angry at me. They flew up behind me and began pushing me. I was unable to resist as they pushed me into a nearby ball of fire, one which I did not remember seeing earlier. As I entered into it, I could see sparks of electricity snapping all around me. These sparks were thicker than I was, which caused me to be a bit scared. As I was floating inward into it, I noticed that it too had stairs, however it was just known that these stairs were not meant to be walked on. They were old, cracked and dusty.

As I entered deep into it alone (the two guides stayed out), everything became pitch black, and then images began flashing before me. These images were still images, and were flashing faster than I could keep up with. It was as if someone had set a slid projector on super high speed. I did notice that they were of ordinary things. They were images of things that most people naturally ignore, such as a broken tree limb laying next to a certain road in a specific location. Another one was a glance through some trees, seeing a valley between mountains.  Another one was seeing a pitcher of tea sitting on a kitchen table. Things like that. The second to last picture I saw was of a young female. She was very young, very pretty. She had black (or real dark) hair. She was standing on a white porch (or balcony) watching the sunrise over the city that she lived in. She was holding my newly born baby. She seemed so sad, so lonely, so depressed that I was no longer there. I felt as if I am to die again before ever possibly even knowing that I had a child. I feel for her. The last image I saw was of a castle. It was golden, but was dull and lifeless. It simply floated there in the middle of emptiness, of darkness. I remember feeling pity for it. Then everything began to swirl, making me dizzy, as I was instantly and forcibly slammed back into my body. I remember being sad, because I did not want to return back here.

Only being able to see out of my eyes now, I could see a very bright light in the middle of a circular mirror, which was shinning directly onto my face. I fearfully looked around, seeing some doctors standing over me and some nurses in the background. They were all rushing and moving around so fast, as if they were panicking. One doctor who was standing right beside my head looked into my eyes and said, “He’s back! You’re back! You are safe now, Try and relax! Everything will be all right. Try and relax.”

All of a sudden, memories of what my brain had continued to record began rushing to my consciousness. I remember being in a car, I was in mom’s lap as some guy drove. I remember mom squeezing my forehead real tight with one hand and slapping me in the face with the other, while crying, yelling “Wake up! Wake up!”  I remember looking out of my eyes, seeing that we ran a red stop light. I remember being outside of town, because the only thing I seen was the taillight of a car way far in front of us, no street lights, no houses. I remember lying on a roller bed, as someone was slowly pushing me down a hallway. I then remember the bright light in the middle of the mirror.

Upon remembering back to the present, my head instantly began to unbelievably hurt, and I felt dizzy and weak, and passed out.

I had never been to a church before then, I didn’t even know what a Bible was, let alone God. Before then, I thought that when you died, that was it, you were simply non existent, since that is what mom had told me. But then again, I was only two and a half years old. I have later grown to learn that mom was angry with God, and blamed God for all of her problems and losses. This makes sense as to why she told me what she did.

I am 28 years old now, living near Houston Texas. I am male, ex-Navy of six years, and I have had some college, as well as several government technical field schools (Advanced electronics and computers, Radar operator, and Long Range AEGIS SPY Track-II 3-D Doppler Radar Repair Technician). I am currently a Research and Development Lab Technician.

Although I seldom remember my dreams, and usually forget the ones that I do remember within a hour or two from waking up at night, I often sense a feeling of de javu, not as if I had lived that experience before, but rather that I had dreamed that experience before, and I often remember having had that dream (usually about two years before the de javu experience) at the time of the deja vu experience.  Other than that, I am unaware of any other active abilities.

I have told this experience to most of my family members (brothers and sisters, mainly to see if they remembered it or not), as well as a few friends here and there.

The best part about the NDE was when I retracted back towards the center of the tunnel, it felt so good, so peaceful, so secure. The worst part about the NDE was being slammed back into my body at the doctors table. I felt cheated.