Kathleen B's NDE

Experience description: 

      I tried to call to the nurse that I was not well.  She put a mask over my face and told me to breathe, but I could only get a few breaths in and I passed out. I was still in my body, but could hear everything that was going on.  She checked my pulse, I could still feel for a while. She called the anesthesiologist and OB-gyn back.  One of them shined a light in my eye and I could not move.  I felt my heart race and then stop.  I began to float up above my body and a white light encompassed me.  I felt no pain and it was such a relief from what I was going through, that I forgot about going anywhere.  I just wanted to remain suspended there forever.  The emotions that surrounded me felt like nothing I've ever experienced on earth.  It was like love was magnified multiple times, peaceful and secure.  I saw some people I didn't recognize.  One was a woman dressed in a long brown dress from the 1800's, with her dark hair tied in a bun.  She said she would help me go back, because by then I had said, "Dear Lord, please let me go back and take care of my new baby girl.  She may need me right now."  I was violently sucked back into my body and started to feel pain and pressure in my body.  My heart was skipping and beating.  I took a breath from the mask that was still over my mouth and nose.  I started feeling again.  I opened my eyes when I could and tried to look into the overhead mirror that was set up for observing the birth.  I looked ashen and gray.  My lips were discolored.  The nurse kept watching my fingers.  I felt very anxious. I had wires and patches all over my chest.  No one around that looked familiar.  They had chased my husband out a long time ago when this all started.  I felt all alone.  No one to turn to for questions.  Where's my baby?  Was she ok?  The nurse nodded and said because of the way I bled, I had reversed the umbilical cord bleeding and had sucked some of it backwards to me instead of the baby. Was that ok for the baby?  I never saw any indications but that she had an "outward" belly button instead of an "innie" after she grew later on in life. 

  I laid in recovery for a few hours and continued to bleed a little more.  Finally, I was brought to a room and left by myself to recover.  I was very weak, but very glad to see my Laura and have time to bond with her afterwards.  The next day, I delivered the rest of the placenta in the toilet and showed it to the nurse, who proceeded to get rid of the evidence when she saw it.  It was the size of an adult liver, and took a while to get it flushed, but she managed.

I went back to the hospital a couple months later to read the medical reports.  It just said that I bled heavily.  No indications of all the machinery that I woke up to. I never went back to that hospital and never had another child or used that doctor again.  Today, I have Mark, my first child, 23 years old, and Laura, 20 years old and both healthy and normal.  I spent the next 4 years in therapy for anxiety attacks and help in understanding my lessons.  I became allergic to certain foods that I had previously loved.  No chicken, no dairy, no cauliflower and other loved items, but I learned to eat other foods that I had never experienced before, or had never liked, i.e. sushi, tofu, and other soy products.

 Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  Yes

      Explanation:  Demerol and local anesthetic during childbirth.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

      What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate?  remembering all the details of all that happened. Trying to be alert to what was all happening. Just wanting to take more time with the wonderful experience, but realizing I had to make a quick decision or I might not be able to come back to a newborn baby.

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Yes

      Describe:  I had just given birth and had bled so heavily and was not breathing, and the heart was stopped from so much blood loss.  The placenta had not been completely removed and the doctor had left the room, thinking all was well and he was done.

 What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  I tried to stay alert as much as I could.  I was able to feel the vibrations when I was out of the physical body.  Something was wiggly like Jell-O, but no form was restricting me.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  No, never would this be in the same state as a dream.  And I can have a vivid dream where I'm flying, but I don't feel the same vibrations.

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Yes

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:  I did not look at my body.  I just felt the vibrations, like a high frequency, not a slow vibration.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  Love was what I described it as, but it was never experienced on earth by me before.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  I was not aware of noises except by my own thinking and the other entities, maybe one or two of them in addition to the woman in the dark dress.

 Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  No

 Did you see a light?  Yes

      Describe:  I was just aware of the light when I got out of my body.  I don't remember it coming from any certain direction.

 Did you meet or see any other beings?  Yes

      Describe:  I was told by an earth psychic that it was a great grandmother of mine that I had never met.  When I described the woman to my father, he said it sounded like my father's maternal grandmother.  Mary.  To this day, I wear my hair in a bun sometimes.

 Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  No

 Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  Uncertain

      Describe:  Don't know any witnesses.  All was covered up as far as I could find. 

 Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  No

 Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

      Describe:  Did not know how much time had elapsed. Laura was born around 1:30p.m. on that Saturday, and I couldn't see the clock when I woke up in the delivery room.  I remember getting back to my room after recovery around 5 p.m.

 Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes

      Describe:  This came through out the next few years and then dwindled off, but was strong at first: I could sense danger before it was about to happen.  I could tell what was going on in an ambulance that passed by.  I could feel pain in my body that someone else was having.  I was able to hear thoughts of others.  I knew why certain foods were good for my body and how the energy of the food affected me.

 Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  No

 Did you become aware of future events?  Yes

      Describe:  I would come to a crossing in a road and slow down in time for a wild elk to dash by. I didn't know what was going to happen, just felt the need to slow down.

 Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  Yes

      Describe:  Actually, I asked to come back and then I was rushed back.

 Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Uncertain

      Describe:  Maybe a little psychic, I don't think it lasted long.

 Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  I don't get attached to trying to change people and their attitude toward my experience.

 Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  I see people in a different way.  Indifferent as to where they are with life and death.  They'll have their own experience and figure it out.

 Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  People and patients who have lost loved ones, I tell them that John Edward is not a hoax and they can talk to their loved ones on the other side all they want and they will hear.

 What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Just a better understanding of what's going on in this earth school. Love is the way to understanding everything.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  Not being in control, not knowing if I would be sent back or I had to stay.  Thankful for the extra time with my children.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?  Sensing the body every day is a great experience for me.  Every cell has a consciousness and I want to use that consciousness to know better what to do in life's school of lessons.

 Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  Yes

      Describe:  Better teacher, better student.

 Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No

 Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes

      Explain:  I live every day with new and interesting thoughts on that experience.  Good background for me to see with.

 Please offer any suggestions you have to improve the www.nderf.org questionnaire?  Be in the moment.  Ask me when it comes to you and I'll do the same.