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Cougar's Three NDE"s


I have had one surface experience and two deep ones.  I have been to heaven and to hell and personally resolved the apparent dichotomy of experiences. 

My first experience was at age 11.

The wind was knocked out of me from a high swing set fall.  My diaphragm was in shock.  I couldn't move. What a terrifying moment! I couldn't breathe in. I could only breathe out, so I kept what little air I had in me. I was going to die. I finally accepted it and relaxed. I said goodbye to it all. I could feel the entire earth behind me. I could only move my eyes. Everything became more alive. The leaves in the trees grew greener. The blue of the sky grew bluer. I have never seen such beauty in nature before! Then I saw the past come up out of the ground; the last 400 years anyway. I became the nose of an old Native American. I could easily distinguish each type of tree by its smell alone. When strangers came to this land to claim it for their own I gained a new perspective of the Native Americans vs. the English.  Also, it used to be fun to play soldier, but after seeing what I saw from the civil war, I gained a new respect for human life.  (I didn't realize until much later that this experience happened to me on the 100^th anniversary of the beginning of the civil war only 126 miles away.) 

I was released from the earth and floated through different layers of the atmosphere.  I felt a mature love surround me; a love beyond what I have experienced from my parents or even from my grandparents.  A voice filled my head and said everything was o.k.   I surrendered to it. I was going home!  Suddenly, there was an explosion of air shoved down my throat.  I was back in my body.  Delicious aromatic air filled my lungs, rejuvenating me.

My second NDE was a deep one happening at age 24 in 1974, while living in Colorado.  I was given 3 prophetic warning dreams of a near future traffic accident.  Why, I don't know.  I was powerless to stop it.  It was a head on collision.  I was flung into the air, away from my motorcycle and out of my body.  I saw my body crumple to the ground.  My back was broken in two places.

A cool gray fog enveloped me and swirled into a tunnel of light, taking me upward into the heavens.  I felt this increasing love come to me and at the same time a faint sound growing stronger and stronger, swelling up and surrounding me into a rich full "HUUU."  The hum was also centered inside me.  A voice came forth from within the sound.  This was like the drone of a thousand prop-driven airplanes or extended rolling thunder.  This voice felt like a great grandfather's voice that loved me like a son.  It knew everything about me and spoke it to me.  Even my shortcomings were mentioned in love and understanding.

Meanwhile, I was being taken over enormous pastoral landscapes and up into a huge alabaster temple at the top of a mountain.  The "HUUU" permeated from everywhere inside.  There were vast archways and pillars reaching up into a high vaulted dome.  These seemed to be made of thick alabaster-type rock.  They glowed from the inside out.  I was led into one chamber that showed me things dealing with people who were asleep on earth yet learning here.  I was led into the main chamber where I beheld a light shining from a lectern.  In this light were seven beings of light connected to each other by the light.  They were one, yet seven.  The love leaping to me from these seven faces of God reminded me of the experience I had when I was eleven.  It was familiar, and made me feel at home.  The seven beings of light spoke of one accord, inside my head, for the voice did not travel from across the room.  They filled my head with their wisdom.  As they spoke, it was as if the chamber disappeared, for the pictures they put in my head seemed to fill the whole room like a giant picture screen, the only difference was, I was in the picture myself as if everything was alive around me.

I was being shown the future of mankind.  It was not a peaceful future from the start.  It was disturbing and almost too incredible to bear.  I had been so naive and idealistic.  Now this was being taken away from me, my innocence.  I saw individual starvation and famine.  I saw wars and pain and selfish manipulation, and bodies lying strewn all over huge battlefields.  "How can there be so much cruelty in the world?!"  I thought and shook my head in dismay.  I did not want to see this.  Although there was a powerful fascination in seeing something like on such a large scale, there was no way I was going to participate in any of it.  Then came a scene that was a crucial turning point form me.  I saw a man in a cowboy hat riding furiously on the range along with cattle and other men with rifles.  It was in black and white like some old cowboy movie.  On this one man my attention was drawn to the pale red letters "R.R." emblazoned on his chest.  "Who is this?" I asked.  I did not have to use my mouth to speak.  The voice told me, "He will become the president of the United States."  "Roy Rogers?" I couldn't help thinking to myself, "This isn't making any sense."  So I doubted my vision for many years. 

The angels told me, "What you are looking at are the probable future events of your planet, but they don't have to happen if you are willing to change.  Everything is in flux and can change when change is necessary individually and plantarily."  I saw beyond the year 2000 and then I saw my own personal future; what I will be doing in the last moments of my life.  Active, happy.  I had mixed feelings and limited understanding of the meaning of this at the time.

A torrential roar like a waterfall passed through my head.  The gray fog came back.  Then my eyes opened straight away.  There was no tunnel on the return trip.  I saw the inside of an ambulance.  Voices fading away in my head were promising of future visits to me.

Six years later, in 1980, Ronald Reagan was elected president of the United States; an actor turned president.  This was the cowboy I saw in the future prophecy with the initials "R.R." emblazoned on his chest.

In 1994, I discovered "Near-Deather Dan" wrote about his experience of being taken into a cathedral and shown future prophecy also.  He saw, in 1975, editorial cartoons of a cowboy actor, and the initials "R.R." under the presidential seal.  This happened to him within a year of my NDE.  Amazing!  We saw the same thing near the same time.  The only difference was "lightning boy" thought it was Robert Redford, I thought it was Roy Rogers.  Incredible!  We were both wrong, but we were both right also!  This is what I call a significant coincidence.  But wait!  There is more!  We were both born within a month of each other in the same year, and I have the dubious honor of graduating from the same high school and in the same class as Dan.  Coincidence is a lazy word we use when we just don't see the bigger picture.

In 1987, while learning from Grandpa Roberts, an 84 year-old Cherokee elder living in California, I fell ill.  Grandpa saw my fever as not only a physical illness but with his spiritual eye he saw it as an initiation.  As he studied me, he became worried.  He saw something powerful but said only, "many people die upon entering this place you are going, and the ones that survive are permanently mad."  That didn't help much, but at least he told me the truth so I could brace myself.  He said if I can't find love anywhere to at least leave the door open to love and he will be on the other side waiting.  He directed me to go out to a sacred circle and survive it, alone.  He was to do much needed ceremony himself from inside his pod house. 

I was weak from alternating between one moment shaking from internal chills to sweating with heat.  An owl called hauntingly. (Some natives consider the owl a bringer of life, others, a messenger of death.)  The last time I passed out was 7 AM. Then, I woke up dead.  Although this experience is written about somewhat more in my book, ANGELS IN THE LIGHT, I refuse to document it here, again, so as to not give it any more power, except to say I woke up suspended in the pit of hell.  I was a mortal caught between an immortal battle of good and evil.  Evil was allowed the reins for a time to show me its nightmarish glory.  The dark great grandmother and dark great grandfather came to me to show me their perverted version of creation and their history and purpose.  I was their spawn, their chosen kindred.  They wrapped their tentacles tightly around my cells and my soul.  The Bible's protective charm does not work here:  "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death . . ."   Ha! What a cruel joke!  You are stripped totally naked there.  No protection whatsoever.  Nada.  No sword, no shield, no logic, not one ounce of love down there to hold onto.  Fear and despair rule the dark day.  The only hope left I could find was to not fear to the point of death by decimation, for you will be filled with terrors to a degree unknown by most mortals.  Have I got my point across?  Good.  Let's move on.

Thanks be to the Eternals and Grandpa Roberts, I miraculously survived and regained my sanity.  Only last week did I discover I had taken a journey of epic proportions, a universal myth.  I had only a fragment of the Assyrian Descent of Ishtar from the 7^th century B.C.  Today, in September 2000, I have discovered a complete text of the Sumerian prototype called Inanna's Journey to Hell from before the 18^th century B.C.  A full 7 of the 8 elements of the story are exactly what happened to me.  I witnessed it firsthand and furthermore, I can report the dialogue they were forbidden to report.  I also have permission to report some of the dialogue of heaven, that which was previously forbidden by the words of Revelations 10:4, "And when the seven thunders had sounded, I was about to write, but I heard a voice from heaven saying, "Seal up what the Seven thunders have said, and do not write it down." "

Needless to say, now I am on fire with what Kimberly Clark Sharp calls "Woo-Woos."  Painfully, my mouth is shut to neighbors and friends.  I crave to shout it out among the roof tops!  Yet here I sit, quietly writing.  Researchers ask about personal changes after NDEs.  The gifts first:

I have timely documentation to show my IQ went from normal to superior and up.  Of course, when one is given a life changing increase in perception and awareness, some of its fallout shows up in the area sometimes known as IQ.  I was thinking more globally instead of selfish locally.  I have an affinity for Cliff Robertson in Flowers for Algernon (Charly).

I was given patience and the ability to see behind people's conscious and unconscious masks.  I was given the power to leave my body, the power to limited healing, to slow my heart rate, to reach the theta state.  I was given more power to love, but still feel smaller than a candle being held out to the sun. You see, the all-encompassing love in the heavens defies description and has no match anywhere else. 

          The curses are the alienation it brings, especially at such a young age.  The power to blow out light bulbs, several streetlights in a row, transformers, billboard lights, the power to stop an interviewer's tape recorder, the power to start broken battery operated toys.  The power of not merely mind reading, but pure telepathy (as above with the beings of light, so below with us).  What?  You don't call that a curse?  It may be whimsical to part clouds with a mere thought or to find that parking space you need open, to get a phone call from someone you are just now thinking of or to finish someone's sentences. . .  It may feel wonderful to have a wild bird land on your outreaching arm, with no food in your hand, as you are saying goodbye to a week spent on Mt. Shasta"

          I may have warm fuzzy memories of telepathically calling cats to come to me,  known and unknown cats from other rooms and outdoors, most anytime I desired, but what of the occasional depressed dark days that you go out for a drive to clear your head and attract a big black dog to slam itself against the side of your moving vehicle so hard that it shakes the vehicle (accompanied with one threateningly deep "woof."), just because it senses you don't like dogs?    (Later, a 20 year friend of the owner said that dog never does that) . . .

It may aid in a relationship to feel the fear inside you from someone else's hidden fear so that it can be brought out into the light of day for discussion and possible release. But what of the time your are so upset, while simultaneously practicing verbal control consciously, that you telepathically shout at a loved one so intensely that later, when you are being readdressed on what you said to them, they get upset when you try to convince the person that you did not say it out loud? (She swore she heard it. I knew I did not say it " out loud.)

It is a busy street.  100 cars per minute pass a pedestrian in both directions.  You are virtually indistinguishable being in one of those 100 cars per minute.  Mere time spent walking on the sidewalk has desensitized her to the blur of cars going by.  You are becoming attracted to her on your approach but don't want to call attention to yourself.  To your surprise she is getting better looking the closer you get.  You want to look away, but can't for long.  Your vehicle isn't particularly loud or smelly but she still goes out of her way to turn around and look at you, straight in the eyes!  As you pass her you look back in the rear view mirror for as long as you can not to admire her any longer but to see if she looks at anyone else in traffic . . . She does not. What?  This doesn't sound so bad a curse after all?  Perhaps it is even a pleasant surefire attention getter.  Perhaps you can even be recognized with parlor trick popularity?  Let's go a little deeper then:

To hear people thinking things totally different than they are saying? This level of telepathy has led people into madness. Some people want to harness it but to learn to turn it off and on at will, one loses it to a large degree. But to not harness it is to open up the higher, more dangerous levels: To have telepathic control over other people's bodies even to the point of succeeding against their will.  Contrary to the comforting "writ in stone" hypnotists blather about, to make people do whatever you will them to do.  To invite telepathy in, you may invite it all in, to a degree that people do not know of in this world today. To even kill telepathically!  Most deny the possibility of any and all of this. 

Can we handle such responsibility and power and not abuse it?  I have discovered no benefits to telepathy in this world as it is today.  People are not ready for it.  In my opinion it can only be abused today.  Telepathic violence cannot even be touched by the law.  It is above the law.  Furthermore, telepathic powers are debunked as utter nonsense which makes it even more delicious and tempting by the few who enter this place of power prematurely.  It is free to be abused under the directions and limitations of only spiritual law, which exists invisibly to us.

So, perhaps it is time for me to tell you a story. The time feels ripe in the telling of it, to not take telepathy lightly or wistfully desiring it:  When I was much younger, I heard directly from two people who claimed to have had this power to kill from a distance. The price they paid was huge. Divorce, loss of jobs, loss of health and a lot of regrets. I didn't know what to think of the reality of this at the time. But I surely was not going to challenge them about it. Then, one day, I experienced being a witness to the probability of this power so strongly that it was a very sobering experience for me.

I know a man (I shall call him Paul) who twenty-six years ago was separated from his spouse and was heading toward divorce. One day he lost his cool in front of me in his house. Cursing his pain he fell into a trance. He could not be distracted from his task. He psychically located her new boyfriend (I shall call him Jon). Jon was about three blocks away in traffic. Paul threw his anger on Jon like a black cloud. Paul had felt that he lost his soul mate for this lifetime because of Jon's  insidious inclusion into his wife's  life while they were still together. Jon, using everything  gathered from conversations with her about Paul claimed to be  richer, stronger, more intelligent. . . and he introduced her to cocaine. He persisted with all his lies until she could no longer resist him. Knowing Jon did not play fair, it was a great relief to release this anger on him.  Paul was finally at peace.  Yet, only then, Paul realized that even such a crime against him should go unpunished by him. . . and an old spiritual law came into his head that it would come back on him threefold.  Moments after discharging his hate toward him, Paul took the black blanket off from around him and brought it back into himself.  But was it too late?

Over the years Paul's wife  had grown accustomed to uncanny events happening around him. So when she left Jon at the hospital she was at Paul's doorstep in a heartbeat. This was her first visit since the breakup. She strongly suspected that he had something to do with it since she knew he didn't like Jon and that it was such a freak accident. So she confronted him with it and he admitted to it through his confusion of love and anguish. Jon was lucky he did not die but he was permanently injured with a compression fracture to his lower back. She also discovered that Paul could not walk for three days and was helpless enough that she would get his meals for him during that time. Paul only then realized the extent of what could have happened to Jon. There is much discussion left in this topic of telepathy before reaching true understanding, to reach wisdom. There is a sadness in wisdom. Oh, to be happy. To be innocent! But we can't go back.  

The seven beings of light did what they prophesied.  They came to me in the next three years after my 1974 NDE and took me onward.  They came to me in dreams and between dreams pulling me into full conscious awareness.  They came one at a time, each with a specific task.  They took me through and above the world.  They showed me the universe.  They took me into the heavens and showed me some of the planes of existence as we all journey upward into the face of the "uncreated creating."  They took me into past lives. Whether they are my past lives or just "past lives" I can't say.  But then, that doesn't matter to me.  What does matter is that I learned a great deal from these lives as if I had lived them.  My book, "Angels in the Light" details some of these past lives and heavenly realms.  Its like Zardoz's "Out of Time Touch Teaching," learning years worth of stuff in mere moments.  So, effectively, I have lived all those lives, you see?

As an extra bonus given to me within the past life arena, I experienced a painful mortal death.  In this way I felt my own immortality upon my return.  That physical death does not end life.  This only supports the NDE feeling of immortality.  It has gone beyond belief  into experience, and thus we come to know for sure, first hand. This is a fount for much wisdom.

Once, from one angel, I was give the second ten of the now twenty commandments, with one important difference; the first ten are "thou shalt nots" the second ten are "thou shalts."  These cannot be understood very well until one has passed through the lessons of the first ten, the foundation.  This is not biblical.  This is spiritual.  I was also taken to visit other people who were once famous by earthly standards so I could see their progression in the worlds to come.  The reason was so I could measure that from the basis of familiarity of who they once were.  This also lent support to knowing human immortality by seeing others live on and continuing in their personal growth. Just because we die doesn't mean that it is all over or that we can now just kick back and reap the rewards of the afterlife. There is much more work and responsibility to take on, but, yes, much more fairness and fun too!!

These angels taught me that we are all connected, that all of life is precious, that finding love within us is hard work, that we must generate more love more often, for human love pales before Eternal love.  I am smaller than a candle being held out to the sun.

Spirit Love,          COUGAR