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How Do We Know God Exists, by Cougar
(3 time NDEr) and other thoughts . . .



The first Dream Vision

The first Dream Vision (of seven) after the disaster of 9/11/2001  came to me at 4:30 in the morning of Friday the 31st of May 2002: 

    People wandered into the tavern talking of a woman about town.  Some were laughing and some were scolding her perceived reputation.  Others already inside the tavern joined in the conversation.

    Some people liked her because she was more up front about her sexuality and wasn't trying to hide her relationship with them. Some were angry with her and called her a whore, or worse.

    Later,  I ended up running into her in an alley.    How to describe her?    To me, she wasn't attractive nor was she ugly, but she had this naturally hypnotic appeal to her that would make your head swim.    She was like a wandering waif with flowers in her long hair and perhaps she was not exuding profound intelligence very easily perceived, but she had a great sexual power and charisma that made her very appealing and attractive.

    Just so you understand the huge temptation here,  I have been celibate most of my life, sometimes by choice and sometimes not by choice, but by Grand Design. My seed has remained unfulfilled potential.

    We were in an alley alone, together.   She just came sauntering up to me.  I just heard about her insatiable sexual hunger.    I am a man!    I am single!    This is my chance!    Soooo.....

    What is wrong with me?    I was turned on by her very presence but all I could feel for her was sadness and concern for her life and her misplaced desire for the love that she needed so desperately, that, really, we all have misplaced and hunger for, since losing that sweet and powerful Love we knew in Heaven before we 'fell' to Earth and into blind ignorance.   

     I know that we are all here to learn about love the hard way, to learn even quite difficult lessons about love and I felt for her like a brother to a sister.  I felt her vulnerability to what humankind could do to her and I wanted to protect her from harm.

    She looked into my eyes and saw the truth of it. I passed the test.  What test?  She was brought to me by Great Spirit, not to try to seduce me but as a guide. She was Nature herself!  She was Gaia!  The fertile egg that includes the infinite Mandelbrot design has indeed great and deep intelligence beyond our ken. She is the seduction of Life that some people love and some people despise.

    She led me down secret passageways of town and into a semi-dark building.    I had wanted to protect her and she ended up showing me the way to an obscure Temple.

    We entered the huge domed hallway.    Walking toward better light, In the reception area, before the main chamber, I saw a few people milling about.   

    A movie producer came up to me and started conversation. We talked about making a movie out of my nde stories and bits of my life.  We were excitedly in agreement to the venture and papers were signed on the table before us.

    Gaia (Inanna) then led me through the main chamber and looking cautiously around her, opened a secret panel on one wall in the shadow of two pillars.    We stepped upstairs to a hidden second floor that few knew about and fewer could enter.    Kamila was in there waiting for me, along with some Children of Light.    The sweet waif took leave of me here, as her job was finished. 

    I knew I was in new territory here, so my mind became more acute in awareness. There were many symbols here and strange writings, much like Arabic and ancient Sanskrit, very beautiful and flowing. On the walls were overlay-ed woodcut forms of arabesque as dazzling as the jewels in the night sky.   

    My attention went to the Children of Light for a moment.  At first I wondered if they were James Twyman's psychic children.  I made sure to understand this as I have been pulling his groups tiny "believe and it is so" wings off recently in my writings.    As I came to know them,  I realized they were not children at all.  They only manifested that way for this lesson.    These children were the "innocent outwards" of the most Ancient Elders.    They may also be called Angels or Spiritual Travelers between the many worlds of man and God. 

    Kamila was there to help me with her love and her ancestral connection to this ancient language.    The "children" explained that the most important discovery was an  "L"  type symbol.  They explained further that there were four different ways to hold this symbol and by doing so, they each appear to be a different symbol than the others, like the number 7.  The symbol was also a type of  "eLL"  sound or  "iLLya"  or  "La."  Fragments of the ancient lyrical sounds for God.    One symbol would unlock a door, depending how it was held.  I held up the symbol and pressed it to the wall and it opened. 

    I looked out of the hidden window the symbol had opened up and could see a priest in the courtyard below.  He didn't know of our secret room.    He was in the direction of the West.    He was holding ritual with one of the symbols.    The Angels told me that there were 4 major religions outside  (in the world)  and that each one had one symbol of the Four and thus the whole Truth was not in any One.  And yet, each of the Four were one and the same symbol turned in different directions.  They  (the people)  are unaware of the secret journey "inside" this matrix.

    The Angels told me that the second door could only be opened  by understanding how to apply the lesson of the first door that I had opened.    

    I took the symbol to the opposite wall, placed my hands on the wall and chanted the ancient sounds of God.   Nothing happened.  It was then revealed to me by my Intuitive Wisdom that the real magic for this secret door did not lie in using one symbol in four different directions,  but by using four of the same symbols in One special combination.    There are several combinations but only one with their spiritual eye open would know the right one.    I will suggest two of them here.  One is the magic symbol for the world (the square) and the other is infinity:    L7L7.    I then heard the Ancient Elders say, "Lo!  He has recalled the mythical key!  He is the one who will unite the Four Great Traditions of Religions into One!" 

    I placed the four symbols on the wall with my hands and chanted the ancient sounds of God, "La ilah ila Allah" (no Gods just God).  The wall opened up into a great semi-dark cavern.  I say semi-dark because by the standards of the world it was subterranean and a scary type of darkness.  But, one moved by the Light of the Spirit could easily see his way through what appears to be darkness, the darkness of the Earth world.  At the time, I did not know what the Travelers meant by the Four Great Religions!  Was it Judaism, Christianity, Islam and Buddhism?  I discovered only recently that they meant the Ancient Gods tradition, the Gaia tradition, the Wisdom tradition and the Prophetic tradition. 

    The Children of Light said they have been endlessly working on traveling here through this hidden world of God within the world of Man;  That very few have traveled completely through this way, if at all, and that it was now my task to travel it after the fashion of the story of Khadir and Moses, which Bruce Lee borrows in his movie, "Circle of Iron."  Thusly, I had found my way into knowing how God works invisibly in the world. 

    I was given a sheaf type pouch with six arrow-sized swords inside it to hold in my left hand. Then I was given a staff for my right hand.    (The six arrow-sized swords represent the keys to the six {more than our commonly known four}  directions, which are:    North, South, East, West, the Above and the Below.  {The four cardinal directions and the two spiritual directions}... and the pouch is the seventh direction which I discovered by inspiration as I danced the Sacred Spiral Dance one full moon, years ago.

    (The seventh direction is the one that binds the other six together {as a pouch would}:  This is the direction of the Heart or  Love,  which does bind all together as One. This direction is represented by reaching out to all the directions while turning in a circle.    I got validation of this inspiration months later when I read that one tribe describes this 7th direction as the binding leather tie which holds six sticks or arrows together.  Many tribes hadn't known this 7th direction, being lost and forgotten down through time.)

    The Staff of Wisdom could be pulled apart at the hilt to expose a hidden long sword of great strength and power unknown to casual passersby.   The Sword of Truth.    I will share my wisdom and the truth of it will be left behind to be explored when I leave this world and perhaps even because of by the WAY  I will leave this world, if it happens the way it was prophesied to me during my nde in Heaven.

    The Sword of Truth inside the Staff of Wisdom is a good analogy, for the truth is not easily received.  I have never heard of a Rose of Truth or a Shovel of Truth.    :)    Though,  I have heard of a shovel used in the case against B.S.    :)

    The Sword of Truth slices and dices, cutting away at the ego and other illusions of life that people cling to so dearly.  They curse the Sword as it swings in their direction.  The Sword can even kill if one holds on too dearly to false pride and false humility or when man completely misunderstands the truth,  which is often!  As the sword dances in the air, the sword sings dreadfully to some and the sword sings ecstatically to others. 

    The Children of Light led me into the darkness, with their Light becoming mine, and showed me through their eyes as far as they have gone in this maze of Life.  I could see that they had compassionately sprinkled the correct path for me with drops of water from their Angelic tears for my bare feet to feel and know which turns to make in the massive maze. Otherwise, I could be lost forever in the maze. The wet tears guiding my path, to me is for my growth and is like standing on the shoulders of others, human and Divine, who have passed this way in hardship and struggle towards spiritual freedom. It has all been hard-won and there is no other way to it. 

    The Angels cautioned me that nearing the half way point I would be on my own to find the correct pathways in my downhill trek out of the mountain Temple maze and out onto the parallel shore of Man.  It was a little unnerving for me to hear this but they showed me that I would get guidance at certain critical places along the way.  I would make my decisions based on new knowledge given me through future Angelic Dream Visions  and by  "reading the signs." 

    Some of these future events were revealed to me at this time.  Only three I can remember:

1.    There will be one place where I will be submerged for an hour to weather the dangers presented to man at that time.

2.    I will recognize being near the end of the journey as I travel through a major drop off.    There I should seal up that cavern chamber as it is connected to man's entry to this place going in the wrong direction and needs to be sealed off for their protection.

3.    There are Arabian/Moroccan types here who will recognize me for the Light in me and if they don't kill me for misunderstanding my words and deeds,  the ones that are wise enough may guide me to a ship to set sail on yet another journey.    The Children showed me that the main purpose of the maze (an amazing once in a lifetime journey in itself) was to lead me to that further journey across a vast sea.  Is this the sea of mankind?  Shaza, a Middle East news correspondent  and dream interpreter mentioned this sea of mankind may be the 4 million-some pilgrims at Kaaba in Mecca who annually circumambulate it 7 times.  Looking back, the sea of mankind could have been the bridge Shaza and I made between east and west after 9/11 by publishing my NDE stories in the Middle East. 

    Unite the Four Great Traditions of Religion into One?  Who! Me?  That is a tall order to fill, or so I thought.  Now in July of 2010 I see the prophecy as being fulfilled!  The final puzzle-piece is in place!  The prophecy is not about creating a new religion that will eventually degenerate in dark times like the others.  The prophecy is in discovering and sharing this vision to be used as a personal tool to those who would be inspired by knowing this is indeed one of the most important universal workable notions for the benefit of Self and All.

    One church recently asked, "What do all the world's great religions have in common for their main purpose?"  I can see "community" and "love" among those answers but what I have stumbled into because of my 3 NDE's and 7 Dream Visions is very specific and has everything to do with "L"  and "7" and human potential.  You may be amazed at just how simple and profound it is once it is revealed.....  but THAT is the subject for another time.  Some of you will be at the meetings where the veil comes off.  Many of you have been working on this by yourselves but just didn't know how universal it is and may just say,  Big deal!"  The interesting thing is even Atheists and Agnostics know in their hearts and by their own experiences that this is the work to do, even without religion.  To them, religion gets in the way.  This little accidental discovery of mine cuts through it all and embraces it all when one is ready to hear it. 

                    Light, love and Sound,   Cougar3



Dream, early morning,   Saturday 3 April 2010

    To slay or tame the dragon, that is the question!  We have been taught from decades ago to slay the dragon automatically without question.  It is powerful. It is deadly.  It is a monster. It blasts whole villages with its fiery breath and incinerates men, women and children. It has no mercy.  The brave knight goes forth to slay the dragon and becomes a hero to the village. There was no reasonably sane way to even think of taming it.  In recent years there has been a magical shift.  It showed up in my dream this morning:

    I dreamt I was in a huge ship. It was even larger than Noah's Ark rumored able to hold two of each animal that roamed the Earth.  This is my vain attempt to describe huge open spaces inside. My mom was scrubbing the deck and talking about keeping a tight ship. Her character reminded me of Morgan Freeman playing God in Bruce Almighty.  I realized this ship represented my conscious mind which interacts with this world, as we will see more of later in the dream. I went top side only to discover I was not on the water (of emotions) but in space. Well, not in deep space but in blue sky. (Interesting I said that: Blue Sky may be conscious mind, Deep Space may be Universal Mind.)  All of a sudden a huge dragon appeared out from the sky, paused 50 feet above and in front of me, then landed on board. At first sight, I was shaken and braced myself for a fight. Then I realized it was an intelligent being. My reaction shifted quickly and I attempted to befriend the dragon. We shared telepathic words and mental motion picture stories. I was shown by this dragon that this exercise (meeting) of ours was not unlike the Buddhist idea of taming the horse. The theory states that the mind is like a wild horse that can be tamed through proper meditation. The result is a mind that is calm, clear and eventually virtuous. But the dragon is not mentioned in common circles or in Dharma Talks because people in general are not in a place yet to have need of this knowledge.

    As the horse relates to the mind, the dragon relates to the Siddhis, the great powers that come in the ten levels (bhumi) of Bodhisattva development.  The great powers can lead to great temptation and darkness, or at the very least they distract one from developing compassion, so the dragon is rightfully seen in common lore to be slain, to keep the ungodly power at bay. But true Buddha Nature is to embrace everything equally. The Victorious Ones saw that instead of slaying the dragon, it was much wiser to tame the dragon. To champion it through the treacherous caverns of the Universal Mind's powers (and not to succumb to the new dazzling temptations of selfish greed and worldly power) is to succeed in reaching the ultimate Siddhi: Absolute Enlightenment. Then, everything is known in perfect balance. Until then, it is quite a challenge for all of us to live in our suffering lives.

    I then flew around inside my huge "Mind Boat" and saw all the work that was left to do to complete it.  Even though it was flying perfectly in the deep blue skies, it still had several unfinished gaping holes in it, especially toward the bow, which is the leading edge through ones adventures.  How do I greet the daily succession of events that come into my life?  With compassion?  With fear, anger or indifference?  Knowing each different approach may effect the outcome?    There were still many planks of wood to apply to the shaping of my "Mind Boat".  The Buddhists Anne and Roz there to assist, along with my mother but strangely no Buddhist Karen. All are examples of putting attention on purifying the mind (swabbing the deck, etc).

    I woke up to realize I was just 7 hours away from teachings from Lama Padma. What I didn't know was I was about to take my Bodhisattva Vow during this day as well. (I was supposed to be in Seattle except for last minute snow and had forgotten this Vow was to occur because I wasn't going to be around for it.)  We covered enough text and instruction over the past year to continue along this Bodhisattva path, along with taking the Bodhisattva Vow, to now be known at this level as the Buddha's Heirs. After the day was finished did I realize this had everything to do with having the right materials, the nails and planks of the great ship, to eventually complete it.  This will not happen overnight, nor just at night in my dreams...  :)   It will be long hard work, but fun at times. The rewards are outstanding... the end of suffering as we know it.

    This same Saturday in the evening I chanced upon a premiere showing of Eragon from 2006.  A boy discovers what looks like an oval shaped blue stone about a foot long which turns out to be a dragon's egg. After it hatches it takes to the boy as if he is the dragonette's mother. She matures into a full dragon which trusts and trains him to ride her during flight. Their bond becomes so close that he can see through her eyes, which are more penetrating (a siddhi) and they can speak to each other telepathically (yet another siddhi). This exhilarated me even more at the timing with my dragon dream. Darkness tries to kill both of them, and almost does, which also relates to my discourse on avoiding temptation of power and conquest of the world. To instead develop compassion and the desire to ease others suffering.   Another perfectly timed event is right now at the theaters, another movie called, "How To Train Your Dragon".  How funny is that?

    The next night I dreamt that I was in India and that East Indians were sewing wish fulfilling jewels on my body. Four strands ran down my chest, one strand down my spine and a different colored semi-precious jewel on the tips of each toe. The sewing to my skin did not hurt. My only concern was, I will never be able to wear shoes again!  Without warning, I must immediately adjust to connecting nakedly with Mother Nature!  That is not so bad.  Nature is OK,  it's people that is the hard  part.  I just cannot return to old habits of distancing myself from others.  Compassion in action is tougher than just mouthing the words.

    On the third night I dreamt of going out into the wilderness and losing my tent, my food and all items of safety one by one due to misfortunes of circumstance. I eventually stumbled into a cave dwelling community of long hairs. I was given the opportunity of observing a special Siddha going about his daily routine. This is really poor phrasing since a Siddha is anything but "routine!"  He was free to act as crazy as he wanted or needed to be. His actions would always benefit and bless the others and in return they would take care of his nutritional and other needs. He did not have to be concerned with daily tasks and was freed up completely to develop the Minds Awareness of Self and all of Life.  His return to them was miraculously healing and obvious to all.  I guess one could say I was blessed with an interesting initiation onto the Bodhisattva path!  3 nights and a full day of Dharma Teachings!

                            Love, Light and Sound, Cougar3

The Hidden Cave

I just finished writing of my recent adventure and here it is>>>>

    I almost didn't make it to Mount Shasta this year for two reasons.... the first was "the three week crud" was on me for the third time this year!  A constantly dripping nose does not make for a good 11 hour drive to the mountain. After a days delay I could not resist going anyway... When I was 8 hours away I discovered my main drive belt was falling apart, strip by strip. Unshaken, I made it in to Weed the next morning and found not only a new belt but a mechanic willing to put it on right away.  I could have been stranded for a couple of days easily in some of this 600 mile terrain.  I was very grateful for my unusual fortune. I then had a dream of flying onto the heads of the Gods (20 foot marble statuary). Helios (He-Lion) woke and was very angry and vengeful yet I felt a tremendous amount of power and freedom about being able to do that during my escape flight from the awakening Gods.  How dare I stand on the heads of Gods!

    Tuesday, 16 Sept 2008  I went in hiking at the 7000 foot level of the mountain from Panther Meadows. I have been here many times in the last 10 years and decided to follow my nose off the beaten path to find something different. I discovered two false caves near each other but with barely enough room to sit in.  These were huge boulders that had come off Rock Buttress and crashed onto other boulders and sealed off at three of the four ends, leaving an opening.  I did some Tibetan practice in the best one and realized I could push some dirt around to make a straighter sitting room and maybe at a later date I could build some stone into the windy side portal, making it more cave-like and secure.

    I found the camp Host had come back into Panther Wednesday and got his permission to work this cave on a future visit only because when we had met last year  he got to know we were similar in our desire to keep the mountain sacred. This camp Host has been coming to the mountain for 20 years and knew it pretty well. Inspired by my discovery, I was encouraged to ask him if he knew of any real caves on the mountain.  If he hadn't explored one himself, he works with two local tribes when they do ritual on Shasta and they must know from the centuries old mythology of magical entry into the mountain..... after all, when I was fast asleep here in 1987 I fell into the heart of Mount Shasta and woke up clamoring thru dream rock and dream dirt to get back out to fresh air.

    His answer was he knew of the couple of false caves but not of any real cave, neither did the Wintu nor Katuk Elders..... but perfect timing......  recently someone came thru the camp with a photo of what appeared to be a cave in the far distance of a meadow obscured by trees!  It had been recent enough that he hadn't explored for it yet, but will go soon. I realized that a Buddhist Adept may have found it 5 years ago since he had camped down there where no one is officially permitted to camp. It is a protected delicate wilderness.

    18 Sept 2008 I headed off for Waika Meadows, an hour and a half hike in.  Just as the trail enters the meadow, I veered right and went down stream where there was a faint trail off the beaten path.  I was surprised at the activity of the 35 foot waterfall that is not on any map for the public to know about.  (It was known by word of mouth.)  Most people travel to the popular upper waterfall beyond Waika "Spring Tub".  I continued down to the point where I had gotten five years ago when I ran out of time looking for that Buddhist wise man out here.  I could just see some of the Lower Waika Meadow from there. This was where he was said to have been. As I carefully traveled down closer, I could hear a male and a female talking to each other and laughing but I couldn't make out any words. I stopped to listen and the voices stopped. Strange, there was no one there when I entered the Lower Meadow. Something opened up deep inside me. I continued to travel down further only to discover yet another meadow (but more temptingly tree shaded) no one had mentioned and realized it as a perfect spot to camp next year.  No footprints, no people, no sun-beating heat.

    I came back up to the Lower Meadow and looked thru my binoculars from the best position, only to excitedly see a cave perhaps 30 feet from the top of the East end of Red Butte, obscured by a tree top smack-dab in front of the middle of the mouth.  Any other position on the open meadow obscures the cave completely. Now I had done what I set out to do; verify the existence of the cave. I was to head back to Upper Waika to finish my day in bliss in that holy place and report back to the Forest Service but something held me back from leaving Lower Waika. I realized in the waiting of another whole year to return, the true existence of this cave would gnaw at my mind.  I reflected on my recent reading of how after repeated attempts, Ian Baker and Ken Storm had finally "discovered" the 108 foot Hidden Falls (the portal to legendary Shangri-La) in the five mile (hither-to-impossible to explore) gap of the Tsangpo River in 1998.  This place was found in the Hidden Lands of Pemako, east of Lhasa in Tibet.  It was a place protected by local spirits, fierce nature and by Padmasambhava himself from all but the most deserved.  According to Padmasambhava's revelations, Pemako is the most dangerous as well as the greatest of all the (beyul) hidden lands, "a celestial realm on earth." In song it is known as "a pure realm for the Buddhas of past, present and future, a place where fortunate beings can find enlightenment. Those without pure perception will have no chance here."

    Ian Baker, a 20 year+ Tibetan scholar and mountaineer from Kathmandu spent some time at the point of imminent discovery in his book writing about sacred caves to Tibetan Practice.  This is what I had last read in his book, in his last chapter just before I reached Shasta.  I knew at this very moment now that this is what I have been setting myself up to do over the years of exploring out here on Shasta. This was my calling on the mountain.

    I set my pack down, leaving my water and all behind and traveled up the right side into the forested buttress. Again I heard the sing-song voices of a man and woman not far from me, up in the air above the enclosed dale.  This time I was ready to know this was the Spirit of the Mountain calling me, initiating me, welcoming me into unexplored sacred space in perfect synchronicity of physical location. I thanked the mountain and intuitively joined with it more deeply.  Then, in the only sandy area between the forest and the solid rock I discovered not only deer tracks but for my first time on the mountain, some bear tracks. I had heard yesterday that bear is here on the east side. Great: a cave and a bear.....    :)     Makes sense.

    After an hour total,  I found myself at the last dangerous level before the summit. Loose rocks under my feet had slipped out, crashing 100 feet and more below me. Before my eyes lay a most vertical climb.  I crossed over to the left to find myself just under the cave opening, but it wasn't there. I went over further but could see now the meadow was out of site.  If I had climbed to the top, I wouldn't be able to see the cave.  How did I miss it?  I went back to the middle. Those three rocks in 3D and shade could look like a cave thru binocs!  Is this all it is?

    Frustrated, I scrambled down the steep grade and straight back into the far side of the meadow. There it is!  How did I miss it?  I am running out of enough daylight for my return trip to Panther.  I don't care!  I will take a full frontal ascent and veer off where I must.  I dug my cougar claws in and pressed forward. (I was wearing my Roz cougar shirt.)  I kept my eyes trained on the tree directly at the top above the cave.  That tree did not disappear from sight for long.  About half way up I had to veer left around an overhang and then fight my way back to center just under where the cave should be.  My hiking shoes of 20 years burst open at both Achilles heals.  At once the cave appeared!  Unbelievable!  I paused and joined my palms in triple gesture.  As I approached the entrance I paused and joined them again.  For a brief moment I could see two figures inside!  Were these the two I had heard?  But they were now not seen as real, more like statues or carvings?  I forgot totally about the bear!

    No wonder why I missed the cave on my first attempt. It was only 15 feet from the top and not the 30 feet it seemed to be from the distance. I had been just under the ledge sighting it. I entered the cave. The figures were gone!  A trick of my imagination.....  or.......

    I positioned myself in the center of the cave facing out.  My perfect meditation spot!  I noticed very little moss on the cave walls but no bat guano.  It wasn't a dark deep cave.  There was a little growing fern in there.  I was going to take mental measurements of the depth but was distracted from that task when I found I was struck with horror at a new discovery.  I am no Geologist but at the base of the cave was a splintering crack at both sides where it looks like it shifted and was caught again but moved enough to cause some rock to crumble and fall out over the ledge it was sitting on. There were more cracks along the sides and they were all at 40* angles. This cave was not sitting flat nor safe.  My horror increased when I could see the rock in front of me at the mouth of the cave was shattered into slabs like huge teeth that were all facing in....  another-words, if the cave shifted again at that 40* angle, one couldn't run out ahead of it without volleying out over the ledge and the forward rocks would break free and slide back toward ME, not down and forward out of the mouth, guaranteeing one instant death!  I immediately dubbed this "The Cougar's Quickening Cave."  I understand that much of Buddhist contemplation is on the transitory nature of all life and also on death.  I see that this cave would definitely enhance those musings!  I wondered with enough time in here, would that imminence of death dwindle and the practice actually become boring?  I doubt it after I realized the top was only 15 feet away and there were trees on top with roots slowly making their way into the cave, opening up fresh water channels, etc.   I also wondered how long  has this cave really been in existence since it isn't known very widely by anyone?  There is no beaten path up here and it is next to impossible to approach from the left or the right.

    Good thing daylight was waning which gave me only 10 minutes in the cave to contemplate life.....  MY life.....  My excuse to leave it was thus not fear but time.  :)     Good thing I know well the last half hour back down the mountain in the dark.  I am though, a little conflicted about the future time spent here. This IS dangerous...... I could develop the safe, false cave that is closer to Panther and much easier to get to.......  but as Hawkwind sings, "It is the nature of man to be dangerous."

    Synchronicity: The day after I left Mount Shasta, I continued reading in the last chapter of Ian Bakers book, The Heart of the World  where he said some of their team heard enchanting singing down in the gorge while trying to sleep that last night. One elder native later said, "We often hear such singing and we hear voices, but never see anyone and, although we can hear the words we can't understand the meanings."

    "Choeden told me that they often hear duets sung between a male and a female. Sometimes they hear voices calling their names, but there is never anyone to be seen."

    "The singing comes as a blessing of Dorje Pagmo," Choeden asserted. "Your friends are lucky."

    The Buddhist Tantras assert that Dakinis dwell equally in the outer phenomenal world as well as in the subtle energy channels of the adepts body. When duly acknowledged they sever the cords of thinking that constrain perception and open doors to realms of scintillating interdependence, beyond the boundaries of self-limiting desires.  The dream songs of the Dakinis-- half heard, half imagined, totally unverifiable-- open us up to the innermost landscapes of the heart when we abandon efforts to edit experience and flow fearlessly into the mysterious heart of things.

                                           Love & Light,  Cougar



Most people at one time or another want to know somehow and in some way, if God/Allah really exists.  It does not matter if we are atheist, agnostic, Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist or Gnostic.  The time will come.
Some days, even for the strongly religious among us, our faith in God only goes so far.   Many people cry out for proof of God's existence at one stressful time or another.  The death of a loved one can bring out the questions.  Any traumatic event can make one stop and question.    Most of the time, there is no answer that comes to comfort us and we live on in more suffering and in some cases, sometimes in more hate towards God and other people for 'not caring.'
God seems so far away from most of us.  Even the name 'God' or 'Allah'  seems to imply a male power,  so some of us react by calling for the Goddess power.    This is our awareness, still trapped in the reality of duality.  God is above duality.    God is above the Mother/Father God.    God is Eternal and ineffable.    This is why it is said that the One True God is above all naming.  We cannot describe or name what is above our understanding.    The closest I can come to describing the Source of all Life is to call It the 'Uncreated, Creating'  but that still falls short of helping our knowing what is most accurately meant by calling It as such.  This is one thing we cannot describe with one word.   We have no true word for God,  so I will simply call this ineffable power "God"  here.
Since God does not walk this Earth with us  (except partially, when we recognize God being in each one of us) and since we cannot  describe God in a word or even in a paragraph, we feel even more distant from Him.  It makes it so much more frustrating to us.  Fortunately, some people are finding out that reading of near death experiences are helping them come closer to the reality of "God."  Even if the adventures into Heaven are still virtually indescribable, there is a commonality within the experiences that is too universal to ignore and touches the heart.  Now, a public craving has grown out of these readings.
It has been brought to my attention that it would help so much if  people could experience God/Allah without having a near death experience...   My answer is,  "They can!"  This is the trick that recently dawned on me that fools us from thinking that we ever can experience God while living in the flesh:
"The unnamable and unutterable essence of God cannot be easily described or named or understood by our limited minds and this easily misleads us to think that we then cannot experience the namelessness and unutterable, the essence of God."   Stories from before our childhood tell us we may not be able to see God without burning to a crisp!  This sort of thing shows our vast gulf of feeling/being separate from God.  But it is not quite true!    We can experience the existence of God!
We may not be able to describe or even imagine what God is,  but we can most certainly  Experience God and begin to know God!  This is a more important point than I first thought.    I am talking about something with the capability of being a life-changing event!    Do not be alarmed, I am not talking about knocking on your door, Bible in hand, hawking Jesus.    I am talking about something far more powerful than that!    I am speaking from Soul to Soul.
There are three parts of God/Allah that can be experienced while in the body and in full consciousness to personally know The Divine does exist and that we are not alone as  humans.   These three parts are the Love, the Light and the Sound of God/Allah. 

I am not talking about using the imagination or the heart to feel the Love, which does occur.  I am not talking about meditating on hearing the Sound, which can be heard.  I am not talking about seeing the Light from a distance or within and being inspired.    These in themselves are valid experiences but they mostly dim with time.  I am speaking of experiencing all of these fully, being surrounded and engulfed in its intoxication!   No doubt what-so-ever!   An experience that will never diminish from memory!    A Life-changing event that can be repeated again and again when it is your time to experience them.
 All other gifts and talents that we have talked about stem from these three and are of lesser importance than these three.    Who really cares if one can heal or affect electricity and read peoples minds?   Or travel through walls or through time to see the past and potential future?  These are not the highest of what we should strive for in life.   The highest gifts are receiving the Love, Light and Sound, even if  but for one brief moment...   In that tiny moment it can change our whole outlook on life and reaffirm our faith in a Higher Power.  Not only that, it brings us healing, it brings us closer to self-actualization, closer to psychological health and closer to Enlightenment.    It can even charge us with a new purpose to our lives.    Wow!    What else needs to be said about the importance of it?
 The reality of It's existence  (Boundless Love, Divine Light and the Sacred Sound)  is Historical and Biblical and in most NDE stories.  Shamans use the drum to slow the heart to a entranced heart beat.  With this, the wise ones visit the first levels of Heaven.  Interestingly enough, the return drumming of Heaven is one way the Sound of God comes to us and is connected to the heartbeat of our life. 
    My dad was injured in WWII and near death he heard an orchestra of violins.  This is another way the Sound of God comes to us.
Let us take some Biblical and scientific references of the Sacred Sound into consideration for those that need to be reminded that these things are possible and are recorded:
    Acts 2 says,    "And suddenly a sound came from Heaven like the rush of a mighty wind, and it filled the house where they were sitting."
    Matthew 24 says,    "And He will send out His angels with a loud trumpet call"   (another version says,  "send out His angels with a great sound").
    Revelation 1 says,    "His voice was like the sound of many waters."
    Rev. 14 says,    "And I heard a voice from Heaven like the sound of many waters and like the sound of loud thunder."
    Rev. 22 says,    "Then He showed me the river of the water of Life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God."
    Many people know of Paul's journey to Damascus in which at midday a light from Heaven, brighter than the sun flashed about him and he heard a voice speak to him.  (The voice inside the sound)
    Eckankar is much more specific and goes on to describe that the Sound that emanates from God is heard as a different kind of Sound depending what level we have reached into the Heavens.
    It starts out at the top (beginning of Creation) as a roar of atoms breathing life into the material worlds and is an active process of creation.
    A PBS  channel  recently broadcasted  'The Elegant Universe.'    They tried to explain the 11 dimensional String theory.  Below atoms and quarks even, are the basic units that present the material universe.   These seem to be strings.    Some are open-end strings and some are hoops.    They vibrate at different frequencies.    This makes Sound and harmonies of Sound.    This relates to an earlier suggestion that the smallest part of the universe is not composed of particles, but of waves.
    Looking in  the book 'The Key to Secret Worlds'  this morning, I smiled when I found Paul Twitchell speak of the Bani as,    "This wave is actually the supreme Sugmad in action, vibrating throughout the universes....  The sound is actually the humming of the atoms as they flow out from God's great center into the worlds below, via the great wave which touches all things.  It is often similar to the sound of bees humming in the sunlight, searching for the nectar in flowers."
        The Sound is the breath of God and to hear it is our beginning of the journey back into our true home.   Being somewhat of a poetic mystic, myself,  I  have written in my first book from personal experience that,  "The Sound is God,  chanting into time and space."    (Or, "chanting out time and space.")
    Scientists have recently discovered that Black Holes make a great sound and the voice of one deep, deep bass in the Persius galaxy cluster measures at 57 octaves below our middle C....   far beyond the hearing range of humans...    I quote:    "The distance between the sound waves determines the pitch.  But the voice of the black hole could never be heard by the human ear because there are 10 million years between each of the sound waves, clearly not within human experience..."       
    Just for comparison, the average human ear needs to sense at least 16 waves (cycles) per second in order to hear it as sound.  After around 20,000 cycles per second it goes beyond our range to hear it in the other direction.  We only sample a section of reality.  Ponder on the idea that this goes for light and love as well...  It is all waves of vibration!    Humans are focused within only one bandwidth of it all!    But we cannot be trapped here forever!
    Being a NDEr and an out of body traveler, it is not hard for me to imagine the feeling of flying toward a black hole faster than the speed of light.  Once that speed is achieved, the waves emanating from it are relatively passing my astral ear drums much faster than one every 10 million years....    Fast enough to hear the awesome sound of one of God's mighty creations.
    Can the Black Hole be a portal to the Void of God?    Through the tunnel of Light!    Each galaxy has a black hole at its center for each 'local' resident to enter one day,  by the intense gravitational field pulling us into it, or rather, our instinctive attraction to it.     The beauty of the mystery of it all!!!    The many Big Bangs (Not just the one scientists subscribe to at this time) may represent God breathing out into the Multiverse and the many Black Holes are God breathing duality back in to its bosom of Eternal life.
    So, now, exhausting you with all this Sound stuff,  which has been more rarely known to many of you, I shall not bore you with a lot of Light and Love references, which have been more commonly addressed by others.
    I will give you two different brief references to Light:
    Psalms 104:    God, thou art clothed with honor and majesty, who coverest thyself with light as with a garment.
    The visionary musical group, the Moody Blues, sang:    "A beam of light will fill your head and you'll remember what's been said by all the good men this world has ever known."
    For those who would like more than just references from the dim past;  For those who would like to be reassured by personal experiences happening within their lifetime, I offer up myself as one living example that you may know this Love, Light and Sound as well.
    I have experienced these out of the body, in the body and in full consciousness and know the reality of it.  It is virtually impossible to describe the power and significance of having this transformative experience.     I share this gift with you.  I emphasize that I am telling you this not to brag but to indicate to you that you, too, can have this experience!!!
    The Boundless Love, I have tasted in some out-of-body and in-the-body experiences but felt deeply in two of my NDEs.  Total surrounding, enveloping Love.  Love more ancient than the unconditional love from grandparents.  Love more refreshing and invigorating than the present moment of youth.  Love more Eternal than anything this universe can offer.  The Eternal Love all around me that also generated Eternal Love from within my very being as well.  Everything was known from the space of Eternal Love...  This is about all I can say on this and it falls so short of the actual experiences.  Before having these experiences,  I thought that the occasional experiences of pure bliss I have had through the practice of contemplation were as much as we could ask for.  Funny!    How relative it all is!    There seems to be no end to it all!
    The Divine Light,  I have seen in some out-of-body and in-the-body experiences and experienced fully in one NDE.  I have seen the garments of Light of what many people call the Angels, visiting me at night on many occasions.   On more than one occasion during a sitting contemplative state I had the Light come from above and wash through my body and scatter out across the floor dancing away into the darkness of the light of this world.  These experiences are not only seen but felt.   There are too many to talk about but I do want to mention two that happened during the months I was writing my  'Angels in the Light'  book:
    One day as I lay down to nap,  a light came through the top of my head and felt like a real tube of light being placed in my brain.  This was not any imagination technique.    It caught me by surprise.  I was filled with love as intense as the fullness of one of my NDEs.  It also caused my vision to extend out into the Universe.  I embraced the universe because of this Love given me.
    On another afternoon I lay down to rest, another light tube entered through the top of my head.  This time, instead of love, I was filled with the knowledge of the universe and anything I wanted to know about man.  (A beam of light will fill your head...)  I have been in this state of mind several times before, but not with a conscious memory of a 'real' light tube like this.  I was amazed to realize that Divine Light not only brings Wisdom but brings Love as well and can do so together or separately!
    One time around 1987 in the middle of a sacred drum dance that I took part in, I saw the tunnel of light come to me in full consciousness!  It was a full rainbow of light and compelling love. I knew if I left my body to travel into it, I would not be able to return down through it.   I had sensed that the humans here have all but given up on genuine love from what I had experienced with this group over the past three years.   I found I was ready to go.   I was quietly preparing to go.  I  thought I was doing this unnoticed.
    Other dancers and healers around me did not see this tunnel but strongly sensed something was not  going to happen, if they could help it.    Five of them came over to me, now outside the circle and held me down with their ten hands grounding me to the earth until I gave up the struggle to leave.   They never did any thing like this to me in any other dance.    Because of this tunnel that called to me,  the energy of the dance changed back into people trying to close the gap on the emotional distance that had been created over a thoughtless period of time.
    I speculate that the tunnel of light might be the same as the tube of light, the same power shifting to different diameters.    One is big enough to enter and leave the planet.    The other one will not permit that.
    The Sacred Sound can be experienced in many different types as written earlier and as I can personally attest to.  In the body, I have heard it as a heavy wind or a light bell and as a hum.   Some say they hear a flute.  At times of consciously leaving the body,  I have heard it as rushing water, as rapid drumming, as an undulating buzzing sound or humming like a transformer or even the Huuu.  In dreams I have heard it as an orchestra and as the Huuu.  Concentration on the sound can make the dream more vivid until you wake up inside the dream. 

One of the most remarkable types of experience for me has been when I am almost out of body, I have heard rolling thunder that leads me on to the Source once I get out of body.  I compare this thunder to a thousand b-12 bombers flying overhead and the roar of water in a heat and steam system in one apartment I had lived in, with pipes running across the baseboards of all the walls.  This helped encourage more of these experiences.    
    Inside this great internal rolling thunder that sounds like it is all around me outside as well,  I have heard the great voice of God speaking to me as I journeyed forth to see the face of God.  This is probably why these stand out as the most remarkable and most sacred to me.  The more pure (higher) form of this thunder was the Great Huuu I heard in my second NDE and in a dream vision or two.   The voices of  'God'  and the angels were much clearer here as well.  This is where life review and sacred prophecy is revealed.
     One day, in the dense woods behind my house, I found two pieces of abandoned railroad wood that was perfectly cut to size as if it were made for a cross!    All I had to do was notch them a little and nail them together.    I put the smaller of the two across my shoulders to carry it home.    When I got about thirty feet away from the other one I heard this awful buzzing sound!    I knew it well...   I must have disturbed a nest of yellow jackets!    I picked up my pace.  The noise got louder and louder until I knew they must be almost on top of me and I let the piece of wood drop and ran at top speed.    Glancing back, I saw nothing!    I should have been stung by now as I had been on several other occasions.    I could still hear them all around me so I kept running, checking my clothes as I went.  They love to climb you while you run and get inside your clothing.    Trust me, I know this!  
    The sound faded away, which was scary too, because that meant they were all on you and not flying any more!    I checked very closely.    I even pawed at the space between my neck and beard (Their favorite spot). Nothing was on me and nothing happened.   There were no bees and no yellow jackets but that intense humming haunts me to this very day!
    Now, I have introduced you to the Love, Light and Sound of God.    I shall tell of a fourth power from God that is even less known than the Sound.  I didn't believe it myself until I had experienced it myself less than a hand full of years ago.  I was falling asleep during a sitting contemplation.  It was the first time I fell asleep in a group of other contemplators.    I found myself in this wonderful land.  I ended up sitting under a tree of Enlightenment and found myself drinking in a sweet nectar that was dripping off the leaves into my open mouth.  This nectar was more wondrous than any sweet taste I ever experienced.   It went down my throat slowly, so savoring.    I drank it in until I was full and yet never was too full.    It was very intoxicating and it seemed that I could taste it forever!    I came out of sleep back into contemplation and could still taste it for some time after.    This was so amazing!    I have never experienced anything  like it before or after!  I had felt as though God had satisfied all of my spiritual  hunger.
    How do we experience God without risking our physical life?  How do we experience this Love, Light and Sound from the very Throne of God?    This is not an easy task.   But with this writing, I hope I have encouraged you to seek this out with more determination.    All I can do is give suggestions.   The real work is up to you.  Some keys have already been given.  Do the best you can to find truth in yourself and in others and call upon this Love and Light and Sound from the Above.    It is not easy to face truth within ourselves.  We must not be merely curious.  We must be fearless.    We must desire this with all our heart and soul!   We will not be given anything important until we are willing and ready to see truth.
    God/Allah will give you what you need at the proper time.  For some, it may only take a week, for others, it may take years.    It does not matter...  we must not waver from our goal, our hearts desire.  Remember what the twin enemies are that keep you from discovering Truth and keep you from allowing Divine power to come in to you.    The mind and the protective ego are meant to be tools only, and good ones at that!    The mind and the protective ego try to remain as your task masters, driving you.    It is in your power to change this.   This Divine Light and Love can really come at any time, regardless of any effort.  It is in Gods timing.
    The Sacred Sound can come to you regardless of any efforts on your part.   It may come to you while you are in the midst of a dark night of the soul...  It may come to you while you are having the time of your life...  One thing I know for sure (Here it comes!!!)  is that if you constantly improve the quality of how you pray to God, it will come sooner than later.  Strive for 'Thy will, not mine' in all that you do...  Start with that close-up parking space you so desire.  Give it all up to God and strive to do what is within your truest heart.  The more you can line up your desires with Gods desires, the closer you will become aligned with God.    The more you can give it up to God,  the more you will see what those desires/designs are.    This merging of desire between man and God will allow for the most high Love, Light and Sound to then enter you!    It is that simple, and most difficult!    There you go!!!       
    Be a moth to the flame...  but do not burn up into a crisp!    Transform into a phoenix, or a butterfly.    Join us, the inheritors of Eternity.        :)
    Just as I am wrapping up this article, I have been led to a statement in an out-of-print book called,  "Dialogues With the Master"  by Paul Twitchell.   I had been a little concerned if my article would cause people to go chasing after the BIG events of God  when perhaps we have been told we should not call upon these great powers like this but must wait patiently for them to come, if at all.  People are thinking that we should be happy with the little events and that they mean just as much.   From one level, this is true.    Not everyone will see the earth shake and see mountains move.    For after all, it really must only come when IT must.
    This passage is even bolder than what I have attempted here myself so I will leave you with this as another measuring rod: "In the simplest terms I tell you that divine power is that which flows out of (the) universal body to sustain all the worlds.  Call it Light and Sound.
    "Man is sustained by (both the Light and Sound).  Man must seek this and contain IT,  master IT,  subdue IT and make IT  his servant along with the rest of his united, individual self.

    "I know the secret, and tell man of it...  (for man too IS the Light, if he would only look inwardly for it)

    "Once (the Light and Sound) is bestowed upon the individual his responsibility to the divine cause becomes absolute.    He cannot escape his destiny.    To do so will only create chaos in his universe."
    My final thought is:
    We all know that with great power comes great responsibility.

    We are but Immortal babes here in this world.    The tests are astounding!    Beyond myth!    Beyond record!    Do not fear failure!    The tests are always there waiting for us to eventually pass through when we can finally flow like pure gold from the crucible. 
                        Love and Light.....  and Sound,   :)    Cougar 3


Smallville  began it's 5th season Thursday night, 29 Sept.  2005. This is a show about Superman in his teen years. Clark was confronted about knowing his secret, undeniably witnessing his strength and other powers.  There are others who are coming and going on the show who developed special, mostly singular powers from the meteor shower of 15 years ago.  They knew this, being the campus investigative reporters they were, so he is compelled to finally tell the truth during this confrontation.  Clark distinguishes himself by stating that his powers did NOT  come from the meteor shower.  He was born  that way.  He was not from Earth, not even from this galaxy.  (He came to Earth in that meteor shower.) The friend exclaimed, "You are an Alien?  But you are more Human than most humans. You save lives without drawing attention to yourself!  If only more people were like you, the world would be a better place."

This fits very well with what Quentin Tarantino says in the climax of his  movie, Kill Bill vol. 2.    (I was talked into watching it less than two weeks ago and do not necessarily recommend it!)    David Carradine enlightens Uma Thurman  with the Superman mythology.  For most Super hero's, it is an alter ego.  Peter Parker wakes up in the morning as Peter Parker.  He has to put on a costume to become Spiderman.  This is an alter ego.  Same with Batman.
Superman wakes up in the morning as Superman.  The clothes he wears with the  'S'  on it,  is made from the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby.  (Immortal cloth. It does not tear nor wear.)  It is not  a costume!  It is part of his true identity. He does not wear a mask when being his true self.
The following is going to sound Uber-racist,  or at the least as Separatism, so remember, Tarantino said this, not me.....    :)    "The glasses and the business suit is the costume Superman wears to blend in.  And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent?  He is weak.  He is unsure of himself.  He is a coward.  This is Superman's critique of the whole human race."       Their costume is to be more than they normally are.  His costume is to pretend mortality to get along with others, to not stand out. 
I like the blend of these mythologies best:  Many people develop a special gift or two as they grow from the genetic/spiritual potential.  It is not so much as an alter ego as it is displaying a power/gift/talent  or two from, within and mixed up with their ego/weakness/ frailty.   There is much beauty and sadness in the results/fruit here.  Their contributions to society can be seen for thousands of years!
A very few are born Supermen and Superwomen.  The biggest  difference is not in taking on a super power or two from day to day,  but  Being Super naturally.  Being a complete human being.  Every other Super Hero has  a special Super Power.  Superman has them all wrapped up in One body!  I could suggest Enlightenment here: 
Knowing first hand of one's own Immortality   (Invincible. Superman cannot be killed or die). 
Out of body flying  (Faster than a speeding bullet.  Leap tall building in a single bound , x-ray vision and super hearing,  all fit this category).
Having the most correct response to Life.
Psychologically  healthy.  Self awareness, self acceptance.  Self Actualized.
Forgiving of others.  Forgiving Society.  Forgiving mankind.
May die a complete unknown.
We are all to reach this state of Being  one day, as we all are, in Eternity.
i hope the mythologies inspire us to become more than we see we are today.
They spring from hidden Truths.  Or rather, we have hidden away from them.


    Kal-El & Inanna.
    Jor-El is Superman's True Father. He is transcendent-beyond human form. When Clark was shot through the lung and died on the third episode of this season, Jor-El brought him back to life, and with his super powers back. This is like an NDEr gaining super wisdom, insight and sometimes psychic gifts.
    The amazing part was Jor-El told him now someone close to him, someone he loves, would have to die since he was brought back to life.  Life needs to balance a life for a life!    I was so frustrated because it sounded like the Inanna myth that matched my third NDE. This one is from before the 18th Century BC.  We are told Inanna could only come back if someone close to her took her place in Hell. I never understood it...........until now by comparing the two stories together: An adult NDEr often loses someone close to them because of the major changes they go through after an NDE!!!  I am pulling the truths out of the myths. It is not that they really die....its that they die to you. All the old values and old friends are gone out of necessity.
    Clark (Kal-El) had to tell his earth parents at the end,  "I am not human anymore. That is the only way I could come back."  In the first episode he was glad he had lost his powers because now he could get closer to Lana Lang and not keep any secrets from her. Now he is afraid to tell anyone that by coming back different than others he will lose someone he loves!!!  Wow!!!

Enter the Love & Light,  Cougar