In
1994 at a Hospital in Tx, I had a Heart Attack on the Operating Table
during surgery to remove my appendix. I found out why had a heart attack,
many years later I was diagnosed as having Marfans Sydrome and I’m
Diabetic. In Late 1994, My friend and Life mate Roger succumbed to
complications from Aids in W VA, I had prayed to God that God would not
let Roger suffer, I just wanted to crawl into the grave and die with my
mate, I prayed that God would grant me Death. I walked around Seabrook Tx
like a zombie and ever so often felt the systems of flu come on were I just
would cry myself to sleep to feel physically better. But that didn't help
on December ,94, I awoke doubled over, when into the kitchen fixed myself a cup
of tea, I thought, I had an intestinal flu, the tea didn’t work, I was in
trouble, called for my mom told her please go next door to Aunt Floria and call
911, I followed my mother next door because I didn't want to be alone.
The PD came with the Ambulance, the Paramedic thought I had acute
Appendicitis, They rush me into the Ambulance were I stared to go into shock,
they stabilized me and got me to the Hospital. My White Blood Cell count
was Normal and on the x-ray my appendicitis had wrapped around my Colin, I guest
it was camera shy.Because of the
tea they had to wait on the surgery to make sure peritonitis didn't set in.When I signed the operating papers I felt a peace, that I was
going somewhere were I would know the answers to more questions that you could
ever want to ask. At 5:45 pm I was wheeled into surgery and they put a
yellow oxygen mask over my face and told me to breath deeply as they gave me a
Mickey, and told me to count back from 100 never made it past 97 and
my lights out with a do not disturb sign
It was like watching a movie on a VCR that you pushed the rewind button
and saw the movie in reverse, of how my life had been, to me this is
judgment day for me and after I saw my birth , a red drape came down, that
it was the end, Peaceful. The next thing I know is that I see the
operating light and I’m floating, I look down and see the Doctor and nurse
working on my lower right abdomen. From out of the corner of my left eye I
saw a spark of white light come from behind me, I turned around in the direction
that the spark of light came from and saw a portal of sparking white light, and
the feeling of Unconditional Love coming from the portal, I flew through that
portal so fast as if my britches were on fire, I was Home in the Unconditional
Loving White Light, that renewed my spirit, there was an arch of white clouds
drifting above me against a sky of blue, the sound of wind through pine needles,
let me know that I was in the middle of it all. I saw what hell is
like, its not the fire and brimstone, with tortured souls, no, hell is
dead color gold that are cliffs, that the Shadows of the blackness of the
soul walk those cliffs.
I saw my Grandmother who died in West Palm Beach Fla January 1972,
my Grandmothers beauty is as I remembered she held me in her arms and I
held my Grandmother in my arms, she talked to me without moving her lips,
She said to give a message to my 2 brothers Harold and Richard, to my
sister Angela and my mom, the message was to say your sorry is easy, to ask
for forgiveness, you learn a lesson, because you have to forgive yourself for
hurting someone else. The next person I saw was Big Joe who died of
affixation in Fla 1981, Big Joe told me to give Kathleen, his wife a message,
the message was don't let bitterness, destroy the Rose that you are Kathleen, I
will be waiting for you. Big Joe didn't move his lips either. The next
person saw was my life mate, Roger from PA, I called to him Roger, Roger and we
floated into each others arms and our souls became one again, as they had been
once before as we made love in a Jacuzzis in Tampa Fla in 1986. Roger drew
back he said without moving his lips, that I had to go back, that he would be
waiting for me, I felt disorientated, Roger was gone and was standing in front
of the image of our Lord Jesus Christ Moments after he died on the Cross, I head
the voices from the surgical staff shouting my name and saw my body down the
tunnel, the next thing I remember is someone lifting each eye lid and shinning a
light it my eyes and saying he's back.
