In
1994 at a Hospital in Texas, I had a Heart Attack on the Operating Table during
surgery to remove my appendix. I found out why had a heart attack, many years
later I was diagnosed as having Marfans Sydrome and I’m Diabetic. In Late
1994, My friend and Life mate Roger succumbed to complications from Aids in West
Virginia, I had prayed to God that God would not let Roger suffer, I just
wanted to crawl into the grave and die with my mate, I prayed that God would
grant me Death. I walked around like a zombie and every so often felt the
systems of flu come on where I just would cry myself to sleep to feel physically
better. But that didn't help on December ,94, I awoke doubled over, when into
the kitchen fixed myself a cup of tea, I thought, I had an intestinal flu, the
tea didn’t work, I was in trouble, called for my mom told her please go next
door to Aunt Floria and call 911, I followed my mother next door because I
didn't want to be alone.
The PD came with the Ambulance, the Paramedic thought I had acute
Appendicitis, They rush me into the Ambulance were I stared to go into shock,
they stabilized me and got me to the Hospital. My White Blood Cell count was
Normal and on the x-ray my appendicitis had wrapped around my Colin, I guessed
it was camera shy. Because of the tea they had to wait on the surgery to make
sure peritonitis didn't set in. When I signed the operating papers I felt a
peace, that I was going somewhere I would know the answers to more questions
that you could ever want to ask. At 5:45 pm I was wheeled into surgery and they
put a yellow oxygen mask over my face and told me to breathe deeply as they gave
me a Mickey, and told me to count back from 100 never made it past 97 and my
lights out with a do not disturb sign
It was like watching a movie on a VCR that you pushed the rewind
button and saw the movie in reverse, of how my life had been, to me this is
judgment day for me and after I saw my birth , a red drape came down, that it
was the end, Peaceful. The next thing I know is that I see the operating light
and I’m floating, I look down and see the Doctor and nurse working on my lower
right abdomen. From out of the corner of my left eye I saw a spark of white
light come from behind me, I turned around in the direction that the spark of
light came from and saw a portal of sparking white light, and the feeling of
Unconditional Love coming from the portal, I flew through that portal so fast as
if my britches were on fire, I was Home in the Unconditional Loving White Light,
that renewed my spirit, there was an arch of white clouds drifting above me
against a sky of blue, the sound of wind through pine needles, let me know that
I was in the middle of it all. I saw what hell is like, its not the fire and
brimstone, with tortured souls, no, hell is dead color gold that are cliffs,
that the Shadows of the blackness of the soul walk those cliffs.
I saw my Grandmother who died in Florida January 1972, my
Grandmothers beauty is as I remembered she held me in her arms and I held my
Grandmother in my arms, she talked to me without moving her lips, She said to
give a message to my 2 brothers Harold and Richard, to my sister Angela and my
mom, the message was to say your sorry is easy, to ask for forgiveness, you
learn a lesson, because you have to forgive yourself for hurting someone else.
The next person I saw was Big Joe who died of affixation in Florida 1981, Big
Joe told me to give Kathleen, his wife a message, the message was don't let
bitterness, destroy the Rose that you are Kathleen, I will be waiting for you.
Big Joe didn't move his lips either. The next person saw was my life mate,
Roger from PA, I called to him Roger, Roger and we floated into each other's
arms and our souls became one again, as they had been once before as we made
love in a Jacuzzis in Florida in 1986. Roger drew back he said without moving
his lips, that I had to go back, that he would be waiting for me, I felt
disorientated, Roger was gone and was standing in front of the image of our Lord
Jesus Christ Moments after he died on the Cross, I head the voices from the
surgical staff shouting my name and saw my body down the tunnel, the next thing
I remember is someone lifting each eye lid and shinning a light it my eyes and
saying he's back.
