Jean's NDE
Experience:
I was 28 years old, single and living in Texas
with my six year old daughter. I was extremely depressed, drinking heavily
and felt that my life had no direction or purpose. I had completely
lost my way and forgotten an experience I had when I was three years old.
At that time, a ball of white/gold light came into my bedroom
and communicated with me. Telepathically, it told me I had something to
do toward the end of my life. I do not remember what it told me I had
to do, but I do remember saying to the light, "That is beyond me,
I can never do that." The light told me, "You'll grow into
it." The Presence in the Light was sweet, soft, warm, loving, supremely intelligent
and totally good.
So here I was at 28, a mile off track, the Light experience
forgotten and my loftiest goal was to become thin and marry a man with
money enough to solve all my problems. One day I came home from
work, exhausted, and lay down on the bed. My mood was bleak and I
completely relaxed into a make-the-world-go-away frame of mind. I
almost immediately fell into myself - imploded. I experienced a sense of
speed like being on a toboggan - a whooshing sound - and fell rapidly
through a tunnel of blue, satin light. At the end of the tunnel was a
clearing and in it's center a "blue bag". The bag was organic and
like the sac containing a baby. A birth sac. It's shape was organic and
roughly pear-shaped, with an opening at the top. I floated to the top of
the sac and when I did, "knowings" began to spew out of the bag.
By "knowings", I mean a complete, four-dimensional understanding of a concept or
idea without it's coating of words. Have you ever heard something a
hundred times and then one day you "knew" what it meant? It is
very difficult to describe my experience in words because it was pre-verbal.
Anyway, the "knowings" were popping out of the top of the bag as
thick and fast as popcorn popping out of a pan. I tried to grab some so I could
take them back with me and put words on them so I could remember them.
But they were too numerous and happening too fast to get hold of. I
"knew" that what I had found was the sum total of all "knowing"
or wisdom of all people for all time - past, present and future. All wisdom
comes from this pool of collective knowing and all we learn goes into the
pool for the use of everyone.
I left the blue bag and immediately found myself high above the
earth. I could look down and view the curvature of the earth, its colors
and the shape of its waters and continents. I was not only above
space, though, I was also above time. I could see the movement of the
people and ideas that had shaped and been shaped by history. At each
period in history, I experienced the total "feel" of that period,
including its music, architecture, styles of clothing, political thinking
and literature. It was like a vast march of people from different
times with different world-views, all working together. Like removing
the top of a gigantic piece of machinery and observing all the wheels, cogs
and pulleys working together. On the surface we see none of this, but
take off the top and we can see it. My vision took off the top. I
"knew" that we are all connected with each other - like mountain climbers
with ropes around their middles. When one of us falls, we pull the
others down. When we climb up, we help others up. We're all in
this together. I "knew" that what we observe as empty space
between us is not empty. We are like marbles in a sheet of glass. You don't see
the glass, you see the marbles. But the glass holds the marbles
together. We are held together by an invisible substance that is around us
and between us. It is invisible to us, but it is real. I saw that
life on this planet was not random, there is a giant plan. The plan,
however, is on a scale that is incompressible to us. Our minds are too
finite to grasp it. I was shown a ball that was convoluted and contained
all surfaces. For years after my experience, I looked for someone who
could explain this to me. I would take a strip of paper and twist and
attach the two ends together. "What is this?" I'd ask.
Finally, years later, I met a physicist who told me it was a mobius strip. I told him I
had seen a solid round ball that was like this mobius strip. The
physicist said that would be a mobius solid. Pure mathematics has proven a
mobius solid can exist, he said, but our three-dimensional minds could
not envision one. I told him I had seen one. He just shook his head. During my experience, I was told that all time is "now"
and all space is "here". I believe there was more to this middle part of
my experience that will be revealed to me when the time is right.
I moved from this vantage point back into that beautiful blue
light. I came into the picture from the right, front and slightly at an
angle toward the center. Before me, there was a group of
"essences" of people. If you refined a field of flowers to a single drop of
perfume, that would be the essence of the flowers. These essences of people
were like drops of water in a bucket of water - they were individual,
but collective. They were grouped together in a triangle shape -
like bowling pins are set up - with the apex of the triangle toward me. There was one essence that stood slightly in front of the others.
I had the sense that this one spoke for the others but was not in
authority over them. As I came near them, I was immediately aware that this
group knew me better than I would ever know myself, accepted me totally,
and loved me completely. The love that came out from them washed over
me in waves and was so pure and strong I could not hardly bear it. I was
one of them and always had been. They knew it and I knew it. The
one slightly in front communicated with my heart and mind and told me I could not stay, I must go back. The presence felt masculine,
although I did not identify it as any known spiritual figure. I begged him
not to send me back. He told me very firmly that there was something I
had to do, but that they would be there for me and I could come back to
them when I had finished my work.
I immediately popped back outside and rose from the bed, with a
deep down anger that I was back here. For weeks I was angry at having
to come back, but then I set my self toward doing whatever it was I
was supposed to do here. This experience changed my life and I made
many worthwhile changes in my life as a result of having had it. I let
go of some bad behavior and commenced a dedicated spiritual search that
has taken me into all sorts of rich and interesting places.
I have had visions since 1973 telling me what was going to
happen between the years of 1990 and 1999.
If I can help you with your research, just let me know. I'm willing
to help anyway I can.