I had not been well for about 1 week. I had extreme abdominal pain and went to the doctor for a noon appointment. I almost cancelled the doctor's appointment as the pain had subsided around 10 a.m. When I got to the doctor's office, I was examined quickly and he ordered an emergency ultrasound. During the ultrasound, they stopped and I was booked into emergency surgery for 12:30 p.m. that day. I was put to sleep in the operating room.
Then all of the sudden, I started floating out of my body. I felt free, peaceful, no pain. I looked down and they were doing compressions on me. I continued to float up and a tunnel appeared. There was a beautiful tunnel with a bright light at the end of it. The light was brighter than the sun but did not hurt my eyes. It was pure white light. I knew that I had died and would be leaving behind a 5-6 month old infant and my husband, but I did not care. I wanted to go into the light. I wanted to go home.
When I came through the light, I knew everyone there and they were so happy to see me: welcoming me home. They were all dead relatives I had never met before, but I knew everyone. They also appeared in human-form, to be recognized, but somehow I sensed that was not their true form now. I had a connection with everyone and almost a collective consciousness.
I do not know how to describe it. There are so many emotions right now recalling it, but before I saw everyone when I came through the light, it felt like a blanket of love was wrapped around me. No feeling here on earth, in the present, can express the love or the feelings. Everything was ‘pure’, the brightest blues, greens, reds, yellows, whites, purples. It was like a filter being removed to see the purity of everything.
I turned and went to the right, where I saw what I believe was God. It was pure energy, but you knew who that was and the great wisdom that was within. God spoke to me stating that the message to bring back was 'love. We all have to live in love.’
The next thing I saw was a meadow in the mountains with indescribable beauty. The sky was the bluest blue; the grass was the greenest green. All colors here are extremely pale compared to there. I saw my grandmother, running with children, towards me. She took me by the hand and we were at the beginning of a bridge over a small creek. We talked for what seemed like hours about my life since she had died. I had just turned 9 years old when she died. We also talked about when she came to let me know that she died, to say goodbye until we would meet again and not to be sad. She was so vibrant and healthy, despite dying of a brain tumor. I told her how much I missed her and she said that she watches over my son and me. She then said something unexpected to me, 'You have to go back, it is not your time, yet.' She also said that a ‘blink of an eye could be 80 years’ in our time but that time was man-made. ‘There is no time here.’ I understood what she meant. I said that I wanted to stay and she said ‘it is not your time’. All of the sudden, I was falling back through the tunnel; the light was getting further away.
All of the sudden, I felt all this pain, excruciating pain from being back in my body. As I was falling back into my body, they were still doing compressions on me. The next thing I knew I woke up in the recovery room; the nurses called to the doctor that I was awake. There was a lot of fussing around me. I was confused and extremely angry that I was back in my body. It took me about 4 years to bring up this event to my husband and then he belittled me stating that I was crazy. I never spoke about it again for about 10 years. By that time I was divorced and getting my life back together. I was still angry about being here but have come to terms with it and the anger is gone. I know I will be going back there when it is my time.
Date NDE Occurred: 1982
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I had died during surgery, from what I saw. I do not know how long, but long enough for them to perform CPR. [Cardio-pulmonary resuscitation.]
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain Other than the fact I could see them doing CPR on me.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As soon as I stepped into the light and through it. It is hard to explain: it was pure, no obstructions, our brains are slow and sluggish here.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time has no meaning there, all is one, a thought and you are there: it is so difficult to explain to someone who has not had the same experience.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything here is very dull, clouded, like a film on a lens.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Well that is hard, because there it was spoken with the mind and you hear it in your head and not through your ears.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes A swirling tunnel, it was black but may have had some colors. I was concentrating on the light at the end: it was drawing me to it.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Grandparents, aunts, uncles: going back generations and I knew each and every one of them.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Brighter than the sun but white and it did not hurt my eyes.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Our reality is not that beautiful but it was like earth.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Utopia
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe It was a connection, a beautiful connection and everything made sense.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events
Did scenes from the future come to you? No But since then I have had many, many Deja vu moments and people that I have never met, I seem to know.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes It was a bridge that I was not allowed to cross.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will It was a bridge that I was not allowed to cross.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant I did not attend church for quite some time although I did believe in god - I did not consider myself religious.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes God does exist and you need to spread love to ‘thy neighbor’.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant I know that God exists as I have seen God, I am very spiritual but do not attend church, I pray every day throughout the day to God, Jesus and the Universe. We are all connected.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was not positive about the existence of God and an afterlife. I am now.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I try to live a good life and help others and try not to repeat past mistakes.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I heard God speak to me and all the others speak to me, but they spoke to me in my head.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes As stated before I saw an extremely bright ball-like form of energy that I perceived as God.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain Just the generations of family when you first come through - I knew everyone. I knew people that died before I was born.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Hard to explain but everything finally made sense. There is a connection and the knowledge makes everything fall into place.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I saw God and he spoke to me.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No That is for me to figure out before I am 85, as that is when I get to go home.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No That is for me to figure out here.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes Everyone and everything there, the connection to everything, the knowledge how everything made sense.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No You are meant to go through certain challenges to have life lessons to purify your journey.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love is the message that God said that I must bring back. We need to love one another, help one another. It felt like a blanket of love was wrapped around me when I stepped through the light.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I live a simple life mostly, I want to help people and I don't waste energy on people who are self-absorbed. I seem to be drawn to special people who are spiritual and share my same beliefs.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's more vibrant, pure; we don't seem to have the words to describe what it was like.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience It is the most powerful thing that has ever happened to me. It was just like yesterday.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I believe I am more psychic than before.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Meeting God and Him speaking to me. I refer to the male pronoun but it was actually non-gendered. The feeling of the love being wrapped around me, the brilliant colors and the connection.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My ex-husband thought I was crazy. I shared it with him 4 years after it happened when we were still married. I tell a lot of people and spread God's message of love and I have done that for over 20 years now.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No I did not know what that was before it happened to me.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was different, I knew, the knowledge and all the people and what my grandmother and I talked about.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was the best gift that was granted to me. I want to go back.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I can't wait to go back.