Tonya R NDE

Experience Description

My experience happened in 1993. I am SO happy that I am still here. I try to give the gift of not being afraid to die to others now. My brother died knowing that what he was experiencing prior to death was real (floating above his own body, not feeling connected to it, but loving everything he ever lived as the same as he'd ever loved). My other brother had a lifelong friend die recently; I went to the funeral last night. I am astounded that I am able to bring comfort to my loved ones when it comes to the unexpected deaths of their precious own loved ones. Life's a trip.

I cannot tell you who 'Harry' is. But we know, in my family. He died a 'bum'. What does that word mean? Harry was bad, jail material from the beginning - robbing, stealing, and a bum. But he was nice. He was with my brother so much that in my mind, he was my brother too. I had not seen Harry in years, but he was still one of my little brothers. I loved him in life and I love him in death. What I heard at his funeral was good. What I heard from a bunch of different bums was best. You see, Harry had learned to give in his life. I heard other bums tell of how Harry had seen them out on the street and hungry and he 'took' them out to 'his restaurant' to eat. How he would show up at a certain restaurant and get them so much food, not just enough, but more than enough. Harry? A jailbird? There but for the grace of God go I. I learn from my 'experience' each day that we are chosen in our own way and given a chance at redemption. My own experience is profound, but I choose to give you Harry's experience today at this particular moment.

I've got a tale - but can you accept me and all that is a result of me? Please contact me. It seems and feels the world has changed since that day. My story is more profound because of its origin and I want to tell it, but I am tired. I am disabled and my body hurts. But I love everything so much more today.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: September 1993

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening' I was to have a simple medical testing procedure performed to determine why I was experiencing unfathomable pain in my abdomen.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was always aware; from the moment I began to leave my body.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time just didn't exist. All time seemed to be the same. Where I came from, where I was going, where I was at that moment; it was all the same moment.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see far, far away into the distance; to the place where I was going to, the place where I was headed.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't have to 'hear'. What my angels, guides, and escorts said to me, I heard without them ever uttering a sound or moving their lips. I instinctively knew when I was spoken to and knew to respond accordingly. Words were never used.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Two young men, quiet and well groomed. They had on shades to shield their eyes from me. They were Black, like me, yet they were not like me except that they seemed very familiar and trustworthy. I knew that they were there to take me somewhere and I had no thought of objecting.

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm As odd as it may seem, when my "escorts" showed up to take away from the hurt body I'd just left behind, they mentally told me to enter this older model vehicle. I instinctively knew to get into the back seat, which was wide and kind of like an old fashioned Yellow Cab in build. The two escorts rode together in the front and they made eye contact with me, assuring me with their vision that all was well. Yet I felt just the slightest twinge of regret and I also felt that they did not enjoy taking me to where I was going. They were not angry, but sad; for me, it seemed. The vehicle began to move, but not forward; instead it moved upward at a very peaceful pace. I settled in for my journey. We rose and I saw ahead of us, upwardbound, a vision of a place that looked like a beautiful sunset. The hues of brilliant red and gold surrounded by a purplish atmosphere beckoned me and I looked forward to arrivng at that destination. Since then, any sunset is a reminder of that time...

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Indescribable peace, joy, security. A sense of well being that I have never encountered before.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I already knew that there is place we go to. The only thing that has changed is that I feel faith is something that we come to through experiencing good things. Bad things happen, we must have faith that the bad goes away. Just like in childbirth, the pain is excruciating and almost unbearable but the end result is something that is beyond description and produces an unimaginable love. We are ourselves still in a state of being unborn and so we must learn to love living, humanity, pain and dealing with all that it encompasses just as we love our children and all of their accomplishments, failures, accolades and acknowledgements. And we must try to teach our children to do the same. It makes the journey easier when we become reborn or truly born, or actually born and enter life on that other side of life.

What is your religion now? Moderate

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I already knew that there is place we go to. The only thing that has changed is that I feel faith is something that we come to through experiencing good things. Bad things happen, we must have faith that the bad goes away. Just like in childbirth, the pain is excruciating and almost unbearable but the end result is something that is beyond description and produces an unimaginable love. We are ourselves still in a state of being unborn and so we must learn to love living, humanity, pain and dealing with all that it encompasses just as we love our children and all of their accomplishments, failures, accolades and acknowledgements. And we must try to teach our children to do the same. It makes the journey easier when we become reborn or truly born, or actually born and enter life on that other side of life.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain I was fine while I was there and since everything in time seemed to be connected I felt no urgency in discovering what I was discovering.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I love more and I love better. I think the love is real and pure. I am only human, but I try to maintain a more accepting view of everything that goes on around me. I understand that many people do not know anything about life after this, so I must adjust myself mentally to accommodate that reality which is the only reality for them. I pray for others to know what I know so that it will be easier for them to accept a physical death as a new life waiting for them. My son, who is twenty-three, has to have an operation on Monday. Today is Saturday. Yesterday, he called to ask me about the surgery that ended up with me having my experience. He was only four years old then!! You know, he asked me, 'Mommy, didn't you die?' I said 'Yes.' I knew my daughter who was older than him has paid attention to my 'story' but I hadn't tried to make him too aware, afraid that I'd scare him. He must have listened to the bits and pieces of it. Because now, he said to me, 'I hope I die too.' I said 'Boy, you are crazy!' His response taught me that my experience had been worth talking about in the past though. He said, 'Ma, I don't want to 'stay' dead, I want to come back. I just want to go where you went, feel what you felt.' I never knew that my family BELIEVED ME. God bless us all.

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The complete feeling of joy, acceptance, and happiness (different from joy) contentment, i.e. the total absence of any negative emotions or energy seems to still be beyond explaining.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I understood that death is not something to be afraid of. I know that God loved me and my children enough to send me back because we have a job to do that encompasses more than just who we are but the work we do in providing the earth, the elements and the people who are still here, with as much guidance and assistance and nurturing as humanly possible. It all connects to how we get where we are going.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared immediately with a few beloved people. I had to. I would not tell my doctor who asked as soon as I awakened from my experience because I thought he'd think I was insane and not let me go home to my daughter who'd called me back here with her prayers and her pure and frightened love for me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was a hurting person in my everyday life. My father had abused me sexually, which led me to leave home to be with my boyfriend who would later become my husband. My boyfriend tried his best to cope with who I was, but I didn't even know who I was because I was a living mass of emotional pain and confusion. We were young so we were doing drugs, drinking and being unfaithful to each other. I wanted this man, I felt he was the thing I needed in my life and I could not even envision life without him. I really need him and he needed me but we didn't know how to communicate that to each other. My experience brought me an inner peace that allowed me to stop misbehaving. That brought about something new in my man. He saw the changes occurring in me, in my behavior, in my way of thinking and my way of being. He changed too. We wound up having two more children and now we have four. Drugs are no longer a part of our lives and our children are aware of how the world and the universe affect us and who it is affected by us. The experience defined me and I, in turn, used it to guide my children. I do not limit this experience to my children but to everyone who I can feel will accept that there is unlimited joy to follow if we can allow ourselves to understand that this life is only the life we must get through to get to the joy of our true existence that waits for us on the other side. I also let them know that who we are and allow ourselves to be is the way to get there, to that beautiful un-limiting place.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I am a better person today. I am not confused and the things that happened to me in the past do not hurt me; things I had no control over because I was a child. I am still a child in a new sense, but I am a child with the expectation of new life beyond the life we know. I understand that no hurtful thing on this side can keep us away from the joy of the new life we are destined for and so present pain, discomfort and inability are no longer obstacles but learning tools.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Somebody needs to contact me and use my experience to help influence others like myself who come from my 'side of town'. I have read many stories like my own, seen them on television, but never have I seen anything from someone like me, who hails from the 'ghetto'. It seems that all the stories I read and relate to are mainly from people who are from a completely different class. Can we change that by working on people who come from where I come from? The whole world changes when we allow people to share, no matter where they hail from.