Toby Possible NDE

Experience Description

As I recall, I was going to the beach with my Father, Mother, and Brother, when I was 9 years old. My father was demanding that I go in with my brother, swim, and have fun. That's why they brought us to the beach. My brother, who was 10 years older than I was, went ahead of me a few steps into the water. He plunged in headfirst. I also dove in, as I too loved the water. I was a fairly good swimmer for my age at the time. My brother and I, through the years were always competing against one another in running races in the back yard, sprints, arm wrestling matches, chess and other competitive feats.

The next thing I can remember was that my brother, David, and I were jumping up and down, as if we were teaching the waves a lesson. It was like a test of our strength and balance. Some of the distant ships, far out in the ocean, brought in some large-sized waves. We patiently waited for these waves to hit us. I would say one of these waves happened to be about 3 feet high. It slapped me down under the water on my back. I felt a gush of rigid salt-water squirt up my nose and instantly I started choking. When I gasped for air, I inhaled a large gulp of water that seemed to fill my lungs.

Next thing I know, I was sitting on the ocean floor with my eyes open. I remember clearly seeing the water looking smooth and calm from where I was sitting. I heard nothing. I could only see the sand on the ocean floor that was bright brown. Suddenly I had a sense that time was slowing down, while I sat there under water, staring into the gleaming depths of the water in front of me. There was a pan fish, which was swimming straight towards my nose. I wasn't scared, or feeling any emotions! The fish was about 4 inches long, and had a thin body, about 1.5 inches thick. When this fish got in front of my face, it had stopped there, and slowly manifested a glow around its body. It was a very faint glow and emitted yellowish blue and green colors around its body. Then there was a quick nod of its head back and forth as if to say 'NO!! It's not your time'. I was clear that this was the message to me; somehow, I just knew that it was. Then the fish quickly turned around, and swam away very fast as if it were scared away by something.

Suddenly, I remember being jerked up out of the water with great force, and surprise. I coughed up water, hacking, and spitting, and choking all at the same time as I was gasping for air. My brother was pulling me up to the surface. I asked what had happened after I could breathe normally. He replied, 'Nothing happened. You just got knocked down by a wave and I pulled you back up.' I asked, 'How long was I under water?' He replied, 'Not long at all, maybe only 2 minutes.' It seemed more like 10 minutes when I was experiencing this episode.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1981

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drowning 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' While I was messing around in the ocean waves, riding them with my body vertical up and down in a bouncing motion. A strong current from a passing wave sucked me down underneath the water.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes My earthly event was seeing that fish swimming up in front of my face. No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Sitting on the ocean floor, I could see very clearly through the calmness under the water. The water was all so clear and vibrant looking. This was not the case in the northeast ocean. I knew the water there was cloudy, and dark.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time seemed to drag on and slow down while under water watching this fish as it came to me.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision of the fish was very clear, and before my experience things were not as clear. I was just jumping around, and having random fun. Not paying attention to anything particular.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could not hear anything while under the water, no waves, no current, no noises, no people, nothing.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was being emitted in several colors from around this fish.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I just felt calm and relaxed in this state under water sitting there.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant My brother had convinced me to join a ( Church of God ) in Groton C.T I attended services every Sunday for over 4 years.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I believed in angels communicating through animals, mammals or using things to communicate to the living through energy. I can't recall feeling any strong emotions, or understanding any of what I experienced when I came to.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain I know there was more of a reason for me to still be alive; I just don't know what it was. I still don't!

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably existsÂ

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? I am uncertain if an afterlife exists Yes I know that there was a purpose for life, if it wasn't my time yet to pass on. I was sent back for a reason...

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I moderately fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt relaxed, and peaceful.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life Slight changes in my life. I have been divorced for 4 years; I lost communication with my son after the divorce. He is now 14 years old. I have upped my rights to my first-born son, whom I had a short-term relationship with the mother who got pregnant; she was a drug addict at that time in her life, that's why I left her. Her Aunt was granted custodial rights for that son. Her Aunt was rich and lived on a secluded island somewhere in Connecticut. Two years ago I found out I have a fatal brain disease called 'Huntington's Disease.' and there is no cure for it. The estimated term of life expectancy is between 10-20 years. But now I don't value my life due to other reasons, and a felony conviction. I've pretty much given up hope.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Today it's all just a trip down memory lane: that's all.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real I have no real validity of what had happened to me. I was the only one who saw this fish swim up to my face. I don't know or recall exactly what state my mind or body was in at the time.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real See previous answer.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No.