It was about 8:30 pm I had just put all my children to sleep and got on the internet with my husband who was in Iraq at the time. He was getting ready to come home on emergency leave due to my illness.
I had said my good byes and told him that I wasn't feeling good. He then told me to get some rest. About five minutes after I left my computer, I felt dizzy and started getting light headed so I went to the restroom and started a hot bath. That is what I usually did when I felt that way; I had had several surgeries that year and had many infections. So the feeling wasn't new to me.
I got into the bath tub and started splashing my face with water. When I took my hand away from my face, all I saw were people. I pushed my way through the people and grabbed the phone that was in my room, I must have only pushed redial, I couldn't see the floor or my room only many people. I remember thinking that I didn't want to die yet. I kept on saying no, no, I can't go now. I haven't seen my mom yet.
When my mom and stepdad showed up, I don't remember going down the stairs or how my mom saw me when she got here. I came to, I guess, when I saw my stepdad and I remember them both carrying me to the car. On the way to the hospital I remember going in and out and my mom saying, 'Tiya, Tiya.' I also remember the two ladies that were in my house, whom I didn't know. But, when the people showed up (in my house), I felt like I knew some of them but, most of them I didn't know. Two of the ladies were in my mom's car. They didn't say a word, just looked at me when I looked at them. I was scared when I saw them in the house but, I remember that in the car I wasn't scared I felt comfort.
When we got to the emergency room, and the nurse took my blood pressure, she rushed me back to the emergency room and called the doctor, and then there were nurses and doctors everywhere. They started to ask me questions. I remember answering but, not being heard, no one could hear me and I was screaming the answers!! I remember getting very mad because no one could hear me. I remember hearing the doctor saying I don't think she is here and I remember saying I'm here I'm here!!
As they cut my clothes off I really remember one nurse, saying, 'Doctor she's going into cardiac arrest!' Right when she said that I saw my lifeless body lying on the emergency room bed and my mom in a chair crying in shock.
Behind me became bright and I saw a hand. I turned around and looked at myself and didn't turn back around, that hand touched my shoulder, when I saw, what was going on in the emergency room and saw myself. I panicked and started pleading to God, to whomever that touched me, to let me go back please let me come back, I have children and a husband that need me! No, not now God please not now, my husband is on his way home, he knows I'm sick and he's coming home from Iraq, please not now. Even though I felt peace, comfort, and complete love behind me and around me, I didn't want to go. Then, the next thing I saw was the room become bright and the light behind me was even brighter. I remember turning around crying and I asked, one more time, please, Lord not now. The next thing I knew, I was inside my body again, and I looked up and saw the defibrillator above. I opened my mouth and said, 'Are you the plumber, that's going to fix the pipes in my basement?? I'm glad you showed up let me show you the problem!!' The doctors and nurses looked at me, as if I was crazy, like when you look at someone in disbelief. The doctor put down the defibrillators, shone a light into my eyes, and checked me out for about five minutes. I turned to my mom and said I love you, and started to cry.
The doctor walked out and after about fifteen to twenty minutes of sitting there. The nurse came back in and said that the doctor would not be returning because he was shaken up about what just happened. She handed me my discharge papers and said the Lord must have been with you because we all thought you were a goner!
I looked at the discharge paper and the doctor had put down severe unexplained weakness. Leaving the emergency room, I was still dizzy and unbalanced. My mother and I drove home. I remember my mom asking me why was I looking towards the back seat so much and I said nothing. But, I was looking for those two ladies. I got back home, looked in on each of my children, and kissed each one. My husband got back from Iraq three days later and I had another surgery two days after that to take out the damaged infected tissue in my stomach and spine.
Two weeks after my surgery my husband had to return to Iraq. My children and I waited another five months for my husband to come home. Since my NDE my life has changed so much, I take nothing for granted. It took me right until my husband was going to leave for Iraq to finally tell him about what happened to me. I don't speak about this to many only the ones I'm close to because of the fear of them looking at me as a crazy person. But, the people that I have told never have looked at me in that manner and always want to know more - like my story will get longer?? Or change?? Every time I used to hear stories like this, I use to say, 'Okay?? Yah, right??' But, now I consider myself lucky, to know what it feels like, and I know when it is finally my time to go I won't be scared.
Date NDE Occurred: OCT.28,2003
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes IllnessSurgery-related Life threatening event, but not clinical death
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was able to realize actions faster. I felt eager to finish or go back I didn't want to die. When I noticed where I was my thoughts did go faster because of the want and need to get back into my body, once I noticed I wasn't in my body anymore.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Consciousness as in being alive? Would have to be when I was at home and consciousness after I knew I was dead. Has to be when I saw my body in the emergency room and when I saw everything and everybody in the room, even the stuff that was happening behind me in the emergency room.
Alertness was when I saw the light and myself laying there.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? When I read this question what popped into my mind was the cart the nurses brought in. It had wheels that had white screws on it. I remember the room being a different kind of white, brighter. I remember looking down at my body and seeing the color of my skin, sort of a yellowish gray color. I remember saying that's not right and the smell in the room was a much stronger hospital smell. Now when I go into a hospital I recognize that same smell.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I remember hearing the nurses talking clearly and I also heard my mother saying oh my Lord, not my daughter, and she was across the room.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My house was full of people, old people, young people, tall, skinny, fat and short people the upstairs was so full of people that I couldn't see anything else. I didn't know anyone when I saw the people. I almost was too scared to look at them, but I felt like they were there just for me, not in a bad way but a good way. I remember a little boy in old time clothes. No one talked to me but I felt that they were there to help me. I wasn't scared of them I was scared of dying. That was my fear when I saw them. Almost like I knew they were there to help me cross or something?? The two ladies in the car didn't say anything either but, they weren't scary. They were older ladies, like the lovable grandmother or something.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes First the room lit up. That is how I knew to turn around. When I turned around I saw a brighter light than I had coming down, that is when I turned around and felt a hand on my shoulder that is when I started to beg to come back to my body for my children, husband and family.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Comfort, worried, scared, unsure because I didn't want to die when I noticed I wasn't in my body anymore. The feeling right behind me was of comfort and happiness. I knew it was a good place but, I also knew I didn't want to go just yet.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain It made me believe more in a God and the afterlife I don't believe that you have to have a certain religion to be right with God. Now I believe you have to be right to people in order to be right with God.
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain It made me believe more in a God and the afterlife I don't believe that you have to have a certain religion to be right with God. Now I believe you have to be right to people in order to be right with God.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I think positive now. I cherish every min every day. I'm not as mean as I was prior to this event.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, it was when I knew I was back in my body; it was like God gave me a gift, a gift of life again. He sent me back and that was the greatest feeling.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told my husband about a week and a half after and my mother about three months because I felt stupid about telling people, I felt like they wouldn't believe me. I have told my friends and others and they have all taken it well and, yes, they were influenced and their faith in God has an understanding now. Mostly when I tell my story I say that I was one of the very few that are lucky enough to have the understanding of what happens after death. But, I'm still to this day leery to openly tell my story to those I don't know.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain Heard about it on TV once or twice never really paid attention to it just watched TV and said (okay whatever??) Didn't believe.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I couldn't believe what happened and it made me wonder a lot about my life and what death is like. I just really thought I was lucky to come back and I was lucky God gave me the choice to come back.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I knew it was real because I lived it I know what happen to me. I believe now, there is no question in heaven or life after death.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No