Experience Description

I went in for surgery to remove a cyst in my saliva gland. After the operation, while I was in recovery, I stopped breathing. At the time, I was floating, being propelled, and forward through a vast expanse of space. It was very dark but I was surrounded by such incredible love, peace and joy! I then heard an annoying sound and I wanted it to go away. The sound persisted and I started to get anxious because I just wanted to be left in peace. The sound got louder and louder and I recall thinking ‘Why don't they just go away?’ I then realized it was a person's voice telling me to breathe. It eventually ‘woke’ me up and I returned to this existence, very disappointed.

I had already been on a spiritual quest for many years, but this propelled me to action. I admit to being very angry (I think I still am) at having to ‘return’.

I spent the following years, until my illness in 1994, working daily at helping others and teaching others about the wonders and magic of the world and beyond. I felt an incredible urgency in this area; that time was very short and there was so much to be packed into it.

In 1994, I ‘crashed’ with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (aka Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). I have known from the beginning of this illness that this was happening for a reason and that there would be blessings associated with it. I have been struggling with a terrible depression, since living with this illness is like being amongst the walking dead. I try each day to be of help to someone. My faith has not been affected. There is definitely order to this universe and it is backed by Love. That Love is what I miss so dearly.

I didn't tell anyone about this experience for a long time since it was so personal. I didn't need anyone's validation. It wasn't until I watched a show about Irish folk who had experienced the same black void (no tunnels with light in their stories either) that I felt less alone with my story.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1975

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Surgery-related Happened during period immediately following surgery. Wasn't breathing.I would assume the life-threatening event would be the fact that I'd stopped breathing.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Totally aware.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I felt I was millions of miles from Earth – floating, being propelled, through Space.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I think I saw stars all around.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was so beautiful where I was - indescribably beautiful.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I sensed the importance of sharing that love, that it was imperative that I share my ‘knowledge’ with others, that time was short.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I only knew what I had to do when I ‘returned’.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will Only that I had no choice - I had to return.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Had been searching since 13 yrs of age for a doctrine that 'felt right'.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain No changes in beliefs, just a sense of the desperate need to share this with others.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes We do not have the vocabulary to describe the amount of love, peace and joy that enveloped me. I found it difficult to accept having to return here.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Many paranormal events followed. I have seen spirits at the moment of the person's death, I have felt their hands comforting me, I have smelled the perfume of deceased and I have a ‘knowing’ whether something related to me or that I have been thinking about is the Truth. I have also had verification that when I have asked for healing to be sent to a friend, the friend received it. (It got to the point where the friend would call me after I had done this, saying ‘you've been doing it again, haven't you?’). I have had items ‘materialize’ shortly after thinking about them (marbles one time, another it was eyelash curlers). I know the power of thought.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Best - being ‘there’. Worst - having to come back.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes As above.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Giving birth to my son came the closest to the joy and love I experienced.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No - you've done a thorough job. Well done!