I awoke that day feeling like there was a danger, like I had to leave my house. When I left the house that morning of 2/5/2007, I first drove to another store. Then on a whim, I decided to go instead to the Foodland. If I had stayed home, where I live alone and the cardiac arrest had happened, I would not have survived. If I had stayed at the first grocery store and the cardiac arrest had happened there, my chances of surviving it wouldn't have been very good. My intuition had put me in a place where I could be saved.
Date NDE Occurred: February 5, 2007
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack. CPR given. Direct head injury. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I had a cardiac arrest, had EMTs thankfully, quickly administer CPR and had to be shocked multiple times. I had a concussion also. A St. Jude pacemaker device was placed in my chest two days after. I am grateful to be among the 5 or so percent who retained mental resources.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I heard everything that was going on in the supermarket as the body was being revived, and I heard a being telling me that my father was coming. It was noisy and confusing.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At all times during the NDE I was extremely conscious and alert. I felt like I had consciousness of all my surroundings, I knew what was all around me and the voices were clear. My feelings were super clear. Everything was the same clear; no variations. I was like in the center of things. I saw all around me clearly with no misperceptions.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There were no references to time. My father was younger than he was in life when he died. I didn't care about age. Everything was now.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I saw everything was connected. We are part of everything and everything affects us, as we affect everything. There is no separateness. That's an illusion. I could see what's between us in the air. There's no empty space.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The words spoken were absolutely clear. No voice fluctuations, just clearly heard in my mind. I heard all the noise around the chaos of the emergency louder than normal.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I was on a vehicle with others until a being told me I had to get off at the next stop.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw my deceased father. He was walking toward me. He greeted me. He was younger than when he died.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place There were clearly people or beings in the NDE, but it was not like anywhere in life.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first I was confused, then I saw my deceased father and I was happy to see him. I felt no pain or alarm. During the first NDE, I felt loved and happy to be leaving until the being told me I had to get off at the next stop. I did not resist, but I wanted to stay there.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I understood that we are all connected and there is a plan or purpose for our lives. I know that the universe is in all of us and we have things to do in life. I don't know everything now, but I seemed to know then, during the NDE.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I was told I had to get off the train-like vehicle at the next stop even thought I wanted to stay there.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will The being told me I had to get off because there was something I had to do for the people there. I could not go on.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Jewish I am deeply spiritual, but not always observant of my faith.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I think we are all equal and religion is useful, but spirituality and love are superior.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Jewish I am more deeply connected to my spiritualality and find comfort in the rituals of my religious faith. Also, religion did not enter into the NDE, but clearly diversity was present, and the love there was for all humankind and nature.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I did not expect to see an afterlife. I did not expect to have a body during the NDE.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am more patient, more understanding, more giving and kinder. I am less judgmental, less materialistic and never cruel. I know that everything in life has meaning and we are all learning. I appreciate much more that we are all part of each other and need each other.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify A voice told me that my father was coming. He had died. Then I saw him. I don't know whose voice it was.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I saw that all that exists is connected and we are part of everything. There is no separateness. We can't get away from the consequences of what we do. What we see as empty space is full of stuff.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably does not exist
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I was told my life has a purpose and I have to do something, but I was not told what that purpose it.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably does not exist
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I continued to exist in some non-physical form that could see and hear and have emotions and thoughts as my body lay non-breating on the floor of the supermarket.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes We are alive for reasons and we are all connected to everything.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt love for the first time during the NDE, and have that experience to draw from to make my life more loving and have since then let only loving people in my life.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I am more aware of everything, the earth, nature, others, and I am more connected to the world.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I am a better person. I no longer let negative people in my life. I value myself as a person living a meaningful life of purpose and love. I care for nature and others, and myself as worthy of love.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There are no words to express the feeling of knowing of the rightness and acceptance, the absolute love and the comfort of being in that place. It's like what I was looking for in all my life I found in the hereafter.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience in always the same detail as if it happened yesterday, and it was years ago.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes For a long time after the NDE and still, but not as often, I would see the concerned faces of spirits looking at me sometimes when I closed my eyes. They gave me much comfort.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? That I was told that I still have a purpose is significant to me. I think as a writer, a book could be a result of the NDE.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My cardiologist asked me if I had a NDE when I was in his office after the pacemaker was inserted. I was surprised and decided then that I had permission to talk about it and I told him first. He believed me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real The memory of the NDE is more vivid than any other experience I have had in life. It has to be real.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real My NDE was real. The memory of what happened never changes.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I remind myself of what I learned in the NDE when I do a good deed or write something that I think will help others.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I believe that we will live again, and it will be the life we have earned during this one. I value forgiveness, responsibility and love.
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