All I remembered was the sensation of almost being pulled into a vacuum that seemed like a tunnel. I could see lights flying by me as if I was traveling even when it felt like a vacuum at the same time. Then I emerged from the tunnel into an indescribable place of peace and tranquility. There was the most beautiful Being of White Light there. With the level of understanding I had at the time, I saw that he took on an image so that I could relate and feel comfortable but that his true essence was Light and Love.
He appeared to me as an older man with long gray hair and a beard. But what stood out above anything else was that he loved me unconditionally. The feeling of being in his presence was something that felt like I was 'home' - in a sense that I had never known. I saw that my true essence was also this energy of love but as he reviewed my life with me, I received the understanding that I was the one who removed myself from the benefits and bliss of love by the anger I felt over some experiences I had had growing up. I saw how important it is to project feelings of love instead of the energy I was projecting through my emotions and feelings about life. I saw how others either benefit from my energy or they are negatively affected by it. I also came to an understanding that heaven isn't a place you are admitted to but it is a frequency that you attain. Being in the presence of White Light was 'heaven.' It was more than the greatest feeling I had ever experienced or dreamed was possible. Having that feeling again became what I wanted to strive for, not going to a place. The feeling, the energy I was experiencing became 'the place.'
I understood that you take yourself with you everywhere you go. What must change in order to experience the higher frequencies of love, peace, joy, bliss and the tranquility I was a part of in that experience, is a person's own consciousness. They must truly become what they want to have and be.
So I begged for the opportunity to go back and do just that. I only wanted to come back because I understood that my consciousness at the time didn't mesh with the unconditional love I was experiencing. Therefore, I knew that although it wasn't intended as punishment, I couldn't maintain that frequency that was allowing me to feel the bliss temporarily. I knew that somehow, I had to raise my vibration and become more loving in order to experience this indescribably love on a permanent basis. These are the concepts that are difficult to explain because it wasn't conveyed to me in words. It was an understanding that spoke to me in a way that I could relate to. It was never conveyed as judgment or with the intention of creating fear of punishment. This White Light wasn't capable of anything but Love because that was truly the essence, 100% the vibration of what it was. To create fear of punishment would have reduced the vibration of love and that was impossible for this Being of True Love to do. With the insight I was given, I understood more about how things work and I wanted to do better, not out of fear but because of love.
It made so much sense over there and it seemed so easy. Then I 'came to' in the hospital days later with the memory of that experience and the feeling that the life around me, the physical objects and things I could see, were very inconsequential and unimportant. This physical life I found myself back in could be compared to a speck of sand on the beach - just a very small part of something much bigger. Things that once had all of my focus and attention now seemed so tiny as I thought about the big picture. All I wanted to do was get back to where I had been during my death experience. I knew that to do that, I had to change.
What I found was that no one believed my experience and that made me angry and hurt. None of that had changed. My 'buttons' were still easily pushed, which made me realize that just because I had understood what I needed to do, it didn't mean that I had brought back anything that was going to make it happen automatically. I felt very alone, confused yet still very driven to find a way to change.
I determined that I would keep my NDE to myself and just keep working until I found a way to change myself. It really took about 25 years of constant dedication to that purpose before I found a way to do it. I made slow progress over the years but I had some very deep-seated wounds and anger that it seemed no amount of willpower and determination would help.
The more I studied the way the brain works, the way memories are stored and accessed, the power of the subconscious, the energetic system of the body etc., the more pieces came together for me. Thankfully, many new scientific studies have come out that have helped me discover a way to change something from what it is to what I would like it to be.
My experience was the catalyst that transformed me into a completely different person than what I was at the time of my NDE. It took about 30 years of trial and error and many scientific discoveries, but I have finally developed the ability to feel love for everyone, no matter what they do. That is a place of power that I can now use to help others make positive changes in their lives and the world. Instead of feeling anger over corruption and dishonesty that I hear about in the news, I am able to create warm loving feelings and project that energy into the situation instead of fuming in anger. It's not always instantly, but I can get there 100% of the time.
Now my goal has become to feel nothing but unconditional love all the time. I still have to do a little work to shift my frequency to love where I can feel the warmth of it in my heart on many occasions but I do eventually get there. So now, I work on getting there quicker and staying there longer without being pulled into the energy that creates the challenges of everyday life.
That is the impact that my NDE and experience with the 'White Light' had on my life. I am also no longer afraid of what people have to say about it. Sometimes I get 'hate mail' from Christians who think it is evil to say I wasn't judged and that I should consider that it was really the devil that I experienced. All I can say is that if the devil caused this impact on me, I Love the devil. People close to me know how my life has changed for the better and what it feels like to be around me now as opposed to then.
Date NDE Occurred: September 1973
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Other Car wreck in the country on highway-went in ditch. Death experience happened there before the ambulance arrived
The ambulance took me to the hospital with head and neck injuries. I was in the hospital for a week. I still have amnesia from that period other than the memory of leaving my body that was crumpled under the steering wheel and flying through a void. Then I entered an indescribable place and was greeted by a being of Love and White Light. I believe it was life threatening because I was given a choice to stay or go back. I felt like it really was a choice and as much as I didn't want to, I felt that I needed to go back to change some things.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal During the time I was in the presence of the Being of White Light.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the time I was in the presence of the Being of White Light.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I received a different understanding of time and space. I saw the need to shift more to thoughts of energy or frequencies created through emotions about experiences. I saw that there is no time or space in that regard. Energy is connected and felt by others.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I watched scenes of my life and they were very vivid but it was as if watching a movie. I'm not sure if this is what you mean. Other than that, I didn't notice anything special with my vision.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes See main narrative.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes As described in detail above, an indescribable Being of White Light that emanated nothing other than Love-pure unconditional Love.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I'm not sure where I was but it was surely a dimension that I had no conscious recollection of being in in the past.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Total love for the Being of Light, regret for wasting my life, hope that I could have a chance to do better, appreciation for what I was being shown, overall total peace, love and tranquility.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Described in full above.
The experience completely changed my life. I no longer felt very 'normal' because all I wanted to do was get back there as a much better person and higher frequency of energy - more loving. I have felt compelled to tell my story to help people in recent years. It's as if I don't have a choice. I just know in my heart that it is what I am supposed to do. I have worked to get over my fear and anger at some people's assessment of my experience, which I have done. Now I have many wonderful comments from people encouraging me and assuring me that it has helped them. I now feel that this is an important part of what my life is about.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'Raised Catholic but very angry about religion and claimed to be an atheist.
I put moderate because nothing seemed to fit.'
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes My religion now is the art of loving and bringing the best out of others.
What is your religion now? Liberal 'Spiritual with focus on science that offers evidence that we are more than physical and that the 2 can not be separated.
I put liberal because I guess it is the closest fit and it made me choose one.'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My religion now is the art of loving and bringing the best out of others.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes As described above, I understood the connection we all have energetically and that love is the highest vibration. When we act out of love, we create energy that is empowering and that raises the understanding to higher levels. Fear and all of the emotions that fall into its category like anger, resentment, no forgiveness etc. are all destructive energies. They break down communication and growth toward higher realms where joy, peace, tranquility can be experienced.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have great difficulty having close relationships because I think so differently. I know that everything I do matters and is registered. I look at my experiences as opportunities to grow and increase my ability to love. Most people measure their experiences by things like how much money they made, how much something cost or how much fun they had. My mind is always somewhere else and I pretty much keep my thoughts to myself unless I'm in a situation where I don't make other people feel uncomfortable about themselves or their lives. I love to laugh and have a good time with friends but I want to spend most of my time growing myself or helping others grow.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I was given knowledge, insight and understanding that opposed what I was taught to believe about life. The knowledge wasn't spoken in words so it is difficult to find words to describe the knowledge I was given. In addition, the feeling I experienced while in this place was like nothing I had ever known. It truly is indescribable. As I reviewed my life, I knew in my 'heart' how important it was to change the anger I felt about life and develop my ability to love.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain When I focus on being aware of things and pay more attention, I seem to easily develop intuition and mental telepathy.
I believe we all have these abilities and that they can be developed so I'm not sure if it is easier because of my experience or just because I am aware of them and practice using my abilities.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Explained above.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Described above.
Yes at first then no for about 25 years other than just a few times. If someone close to me had a death in the family etc. that was really destroying them, I would privately share my story. I always got great appreciation from them and it seemed to be very comforting.
In the last 5 years or so, I have been writing about it, talking about it and sometimes interviewed about it. I also have responded to questions by creating videos about it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No I had never heard of any experience before mine.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I KNEW it was real and nothing could ever convince me that it wasn't. That has never changed. It is on my mind, I would guess in some way or another, every day. It was so real that it completely changed my life. I can't live a 'normal' life because I think differently and I am driven to find ways to help people have more peace and contentment in their lives - to have more love in the world. I have to tone down my explanation because I have found that it is very hard for many people to grasp. I want to use it to help people, not send them running away. I experienced that love so I am willing to sacrifice everything to have it again but it is difficult for others to have the same passion that I have. The way it has changed me is how I measure the reality of it. Along with that comes the pain of not being able to shout it from the rooftops and see others gain the same benefits.
I am driven to help others but have to realize that it has to be in their own timing. I have chosen a challenging path because it is so real to me.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have discovered that the path I have chosen because of my drive to increase my ability to love is the right one for me. I have done very challenging things like making a vow to feel peace in my heart every time I recognize something else is there - for a year from birthday to birthday. That was a very challenging thing for me. But I have recognized miraculous changes and have had things come to me that I believe are the fruits of doing that.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I have noticed a shift in the amount of interest I am getting about my experience. I think we are coming into a time when there is a spiritual awakening. Or maybe it is something within me that has compelled me to speak out more and that allows me to touch others who are looking for something that my experience provides for them.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? A few places none of the answers fit perfectly and if a comment box was added, I would have been able to clarify. #30 is an example. OR I would have chosen 2 answers if I could.