I couldn't catch my breath, I heard the doctor say, 'Let's get that baby out of there!' I felt searing heat on my abdomen from the surgical instrument, and I passed out finally from lack of air. I could hear voices, very high pitched; they had a brassy or tinny metallic tone. The voices were coming from what seemed to be pink dots swirling around my head. They said it's time to go, come with us. I felt like I knew who the voices were, and I felt comfortable with the voices and started rising off the table. I could no longer see the dots and the swirling feeling was gone. It was dark. I felt like I was in a dark room and I was going higher but then I just stopped rising because something stopped me, I think it was the ceiling.
I didn't look down at my body, I was unconcerned about it, I felt it didn't matter. My surroundings, and thoughts and feelings were all I was concerned about; there was a flood of emotion, knowledge, excitement, anticipation, and love. Love was almost tangible, as was the lack of distance or time. I remember thinking I could go anywhere and do anything if I just thought of it. I felt free and more alive than I had ever felt. It was as if I had been in slow motion and been released - not unlike when someone is chasing you in a dream but you can't run fast to escape, and when you wake up, you can move at normal speed again. I knew it was where I belonged and it was natural to be there, not scary, just right, I felt contented and peaceful but yet excited about the trip I was about to take. My mind felt so clear and awake. For unknown reasons, I suddenly realized I needed to go back. I told the unseen beings around me in the dark that I had to go back and I woke up seemingly many hours later (actually only half an hour later) in the recovery room.
I felt heavy, slow, depressed. I had a new baby I couldn't focus on because my feelings of being pulled back to the other dimension were so strong. The first few days I thought about it constantly. I told my mother as soon as she arrived in the morning; I was so excited I wanted to tell everyone what I'd seen. My mother was clearly upset and unbelieving and told me not to talk about it because in 1980 people thought you were crazy if you talked like that. I felt like I'd been displaced, I was in the wrong place. I felt like if I concentrated hard enough, I'd be able to see it again but I couldn't break through. I had a hard time adjusting to the new baby, it was as if I was in a storybook world and had left the real world when I came back to my body. The other dimension exists in the same space we are in, we just can't see it because our brain won't go fast enough to see it, and it is only visible when the restraint of the body is removed. The other dimension is reality and this world is an illusion.
Date NDE Occurred: 'May 7, 1980'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Surgery-relatedChildbirth Other I lost consciousness after a spinal anesthetic during emergency C-section paralyzed my lungs.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Right before I said I had to go back.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Right before I said I had to go back.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was dark. I knew somehow the darkness was about to go away and I'd be able to see, but I said I had to go back before this occurred.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was very clear. I could hear telepathically, and remember being amazed I could hear voices of so many people around me comforting me and welcoming me, making me feel 'at home.'
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I only heard them.
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Already explained in main narrative.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I was about to cross the ceiling or top of the enclosure, I couldn't see it, I just knew it was there, it was dark. I sensed I would not be able to go back if I crossed it. I knew there would be light on the other side. I knew where I was going, I can't remember now. I actually never even thought I was dead or dying because I felt so alive. I didn't put all that together until after I woke up in the recovery room.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Moderate
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes There is life after this body dies, and it goes on forever as there is no time. All life on earth is connected mentally. We are in a cocoon like state here in these bodies, and when this body dies, the cocoon opens and we are free. We become our beautiful, butterfly selves as we were intended. There is a plan; it is all extremely organized, like a very complex mathematical equation. I knew everything but I can't remember anything else.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The words are too simple to explain how enormous the feelings were. The things I felt and knew do not exist in this dimension so they can't understand. It's like trying to explain color to a blind person. For example, how do you explain there is no time in that dimension or how you knew there was no time when all people on earth have always had time? There was no clock there to tell me time was gone, I just knew. In the other dimension, I knew everything all at once about the universe, humanity, existence, and that we are all connected mentally to each other, but now that I'm back in my body, I can't remember what I knew no matter how hard I have tried. My mind can't go that speed while in this body; it's too slow to process the information. Who will believe you knew everything but now you can't remember? It all sounds ridiculous to people who have never been there.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I didn't tell anyone else for about five years after telling my mother because she was so upset and I didn't want people to think I was crazy. I tell anyone now without adverse reactions. People are interested or have known others with similar experiences or even had one themselves.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No The first time I learned of studies about it was in 1983 while in college I read about Raymond Moody's stages of dying during a classroom lecture. I started to cry because so many of the things I saw were right there on the page. I didn't have to be ashamed or wonder if I was nuts anymore.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew it was real but I tried not to think about it, it took about six months before I stopped thinking about it every few minutes. I can still remember it twenty-eight years later as clearly as if I just woke up from having the NDE.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was more real than anything that has ever happened to me during this life on earth.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Approximately five years after I told my mother about my experience, I brought up the subject again. I felt stronger now that there was more information available on NDEs, many persons had been studied with similar experiences. My mother said the reason she was upset was because she had been so scared, she didn't want to face the fact I almost died. She said the doctor had come out and said 'We almost lost her.' When I described leaving my body, it was just all too real for my mother to accept and she didn't want to hear it.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I have never met anyone with so much understanding of NDE's. It was very fulfilling to be able to communicate with those who understand. This was obvious by the questions you asked. You have had to interview persons having real NDE's such as mine to know what to ask. Thank you so much for your interest and all you are doing.