Prior to my NDE, I was in a terrible situation with a man that was extremely evil. There were days that when he wasn't at the house I would turn on my one Christian CD and get on my knees and cry out to God to help me change and to give me direction.
During the five years leading up to my NDE, I was doing things that I felt were killing me on the inside. In fact, I felt dead inside. I had decided to end that relationship and move back home to my family, after getting help with the withdrawal.
I admitted myself into St. Joseph Hospital in Marshfield, Wisconsin for medical help withdrawing from Vicodin. Almost immediately, as the doctor was going to inject some medication to start the withdrawal, I felt a rectangular pain form across my chest. For about a second I thought, wow does pneumonia show up this fast?? At that same moment, I said aloud, 'I can't breathe out.' Then, total blackness. I died. I have no recollection of what occurred in that room when I went unconscious.
All of the sudden I was surrounded by pure, bright, brilliant, Heaven white. It was white, but not earthly white. Seriously, there are no words that can explain the beauty of colors in Heaven.
I was in a cell. It was made of brown metal. I had a tan 'potato bag' on my body as a form of clothing. I had brown leather bands 'belts' around my neck, waist, wrists and ankles. I believe at first I was somewhat confused. There was love all around me. Much more love than a person can feel here on earth. One by one, those thick brown bands fell off. The door to the 'cell' opened. I walked out and fell to my knees. I couldn't look up. I knew it was Jesus. I was in the presence of the Lord.
It was at that time that we were telepathically communicating. I was asking and crying about things that happened to me from the beginning of my life for the most part. (Incest, emotional abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, running away starting at about twelve years old to get away from all the abuse. Stranger raped at fourteen. Countless things happened to me, but this might give the reader an idea as to where I came from. Frankly, I believe I was living a hell on earth.)
It was amazing and beautiful. My Savior answered, giving me knowledge and peace about every single thing that had happened to me. Everything. However, He didn't allow me to come back with all of that He revealed to me. What He did, is sent me back with peace in my spirit.
Bondages gone. I am a brand new person on the inside. I have been set completely free of my past. I truly believe that He knew I was on a one way ticket to hell, and because of me crying out to Him he answered my prayers!! That is how much He loves me.
I eventually awoke - I don't recall how long I was gone. I am planning on going to read my records to find out details.
I do remember when I woke up; I had scabs under my nose from oxygen. There was a nurse in there that acted surprised that I woke up. The first words she said was, 'You had quite a rough time. You were a very sick girl.'
There was an elderly woman that would come into my room and would sit and talk to me. She was a peaceful older woman that talked to me about God. I felt such peace when she was there. I have always wondered if she was real. Her name was Ruth. I'm going to ask about her when I go and read my records. She gave me a beautiful coin that I cherish to this day. It reads, 'This too shall pass.'
I did eventually leave the hospital, with what I believe a second chance on life. I felt like a brand new baby. Everything felt brand new. My insides were as clean as a whistle.
I had a few other experiences afterwards and if you are interested I would be glad to relate them to you if you call.
Date NDE Occurred: January 2006
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Coincidental: about 10 minutes after entering rehabilitation services at above hospital to get help with withdrawal symptoms of pain killers...at the moment the doctor attempted to administrate medication into my IV I had a pulmonary embolism and died. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) Pulmonary embolism
Acute pulmonary embolism.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was with Jesus. I felt more alive than I ever, ever felt on earth. I remember thinking, I wonder if we are in a sleepwalking awareness level on earth. Once again, I don't have the correct words to tell of the alert level - it's simply amazing.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no time there. It felt that it went on for a very long beautiful time - but in reality, I have no idea.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The color 'white' - well, white. White - I just, I don't think there is a word for the 'bright white' in Heaven. Because it's Heaven. It's indescribable. Also, I felt extremely healthy.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The communication between my Savior and myself was all telepathic. I was shooting off questions about my childhood, and every bad thing that happened to me. The Lord was coming back with answers that I fully understood and was at complete and utter peace with what He was telling me.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No I was just 'all of a sudden there'.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I was in the presence of Jesus.
#9 explains as to what I remember being communicated.
I couldn't look at Him. I was on my knees in a prayer position, but couldn't bring myself to look up because of the overwhelming beauty.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Yes, Yes, Yes.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? #11. I need to explain - I had a body that was absolutely perfect in every single way. I felt heavenly healthy. Not of this realm, I can assure you.
#12. I experienced emotions that I don't believe we can experience here on earth. The peace, serenity, warmth, safety - my emotions were not of this world. There is just no way possible that a person can feel that here on earth.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Didn't experience my past, but questioned many, many things that I couldn't get through here on earth that was keeping me in complete bondage - in depression, unforgiveness, full of rage, hate, sadness - everything the opposite of what Jesus wants us to be. All because of things that started to happen to me as a little girl up to when my NDE occurred.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal 'None: I was hoping there was a God, and I cried out to Him at times, not really believing that I was heard. Went to church as a child but not as an adult.'
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I don't go to church all the time, but I keep a very personal relationship with Jesus. I cannot imagine a second of my life without Him in it. I panic if I think I have insulted Him in anyway.
What is your religion now? Moderate 'I don't claim to be in any specific denomination. I do claim to have a personal relationship with Jesus, the love of my life.'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I don't go to church all the time, but I keep a very personal relationship with Jesus. I cannot imagine a second of my life without Him in it. I panic if I think I have insulted Him in anyway.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Jesus comforted me as to what it meant for me to go through what I had gone through all of my life. At the time this communication was happening, I was full of knowledge. However, I didn't come back with any of it. The only thing that I am aware of that He allowed me to remember was the 'peace,' and the feeling that it was all okay, and that I had never been alone - not for one second - that He had always been with me, and knew EVERYTHING that had happened to me. He explained every detail to me and gave me such peace.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Oh yes. I no longer judge anyone. I am very forgiving. I don't take anything personal. I purposely smile at someone if I think it will make their day better. I am way more loving to my family and people in general.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There are absolutely no words that I am aware of that can give an accurate account of the 'colors, peace, euphoria, love, beauty, communication, knowledge, warmth, etc. I have come to realize that it is because it's Heaven.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No What is absolutely incredible to me, is that for years and years prior to my NDE I had certain 'experiences' with the paranormal. AFTER my NDE I haven't had NOT ONE incident of that nature. Not one.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Of course!! Everything about it. I will, as long as I live thank God for answering my prayers - before I really even knew He was real. I will never, ever get over how He took the time to do what He did for me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I believe I told my sister first, maybe a month after? Then I told my two daughters. All of their reactions were of complete awe. We still talk about it at times. I try to encourage my family and friends with what happened to me - that Jesus is truly, truly here with us, and hears us, and helps us.
Also, periodically, I will share my experience with someone, if I feel that it will help them in some way. I don't know if they are influenced or not. I guess for me, I tell them what happened and then they either believe me or not. For me it is factual. It did happen. I will share it, but I will not look to influencing anyone. It's not about me. I will always glorify my Lord as to what He did FOR me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No I don't believe I ever even realized there was such a thing. If sometime in my past, it was mentioned, I don't remember it. What I do remember, is being fearful of death, prior to my NDE.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was life changing. I have not, and cannot go back to what I was before my NDE. Everything about me is different. I am more loving, more forgiving - just absolutely a different person. I am no longer the person I was before this happened. I was in complete awe. I felt brand new inside like a healing of well, not of this world. I was completely healed.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I still view it as a privilege beyond anything I ever felt I deserved. I am so unbelievably in love with my Lord. He changed me. He changed my life. He gave me a second chance. He healed me completely.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Never. This was not caused by any drug, medications, nothing. This was the real deal. He is there. Heaven is real. I am actually sad and scared for those that don't believe. This is real. This is more real than life here on earth as we know it. If there is something that frustrates me, its scientists and doctors that try to explain away - I've seen them trying to do that - it really upsets me. I guarantee if a NDE happened to one of those people, they would do a 180-degree flip in a second flat. They would believe without a shadow of a doubt.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Well, I guess the only thing is to have a NDE is to have something traumatic occur in someone's life. For me, it was the absolute best thing that ever happened. I wish it could happen to everyone. If that was the case, this world would certainly be a better place to live.