I was not expected to live. As soon as the aneurysm ruptured, I knew something was terribly wrong. The pain was so severe, and my condition worsened very rapidly. I was at first aware of the seriousness of my condition until I lost consciousness.
I was then in a very intense, bright light. I am uncertain of the timeline and order of events, but at some point, I was with my deceased grandmother. She was in a field picking green beans, and I was with her. The light almost felt like a very hot summer day, but I felt drawn into this light, a part of the light. There was no pain, no fear, only a feeling of warmth, peace, love, and serenity. It was so wonderful that I wanted to remain in that light. I was aware of others with me, but only recognized my recently deceased mother. She was in a gown of white, I could see her and I reached to touch her but she remained out of my reach. I was told I could not stay, that it was not my time; I don't know who said it, it was as if by telepathy.
Next, I was aware of waking and being angry that I could not stay in that light. I could hear people talking; I could hear my sister calling my name. I immediately told her that I was going back into the light and I loved her and wanted her to take care of my two children. My next memory is of severe pain, horrible pain.
Date NDE Occurred: 'November 28, 1999'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Life threatening event, but not clinical death
I had suffered a ruptured aneurysm in my brain, with a hemorrhage and swelling. I was given a fifty percent chance of survival, and was on life support for several days.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I'm not really sure, I wasn't aware of time. In my best memory, I arrived at the hospital and was writhing and screaming with pain. Then came the event, then the pain.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything seemed to be sharper as in acuity. I am very near-sighted and I was able to see without aid of glasses or lenses.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't really recall. When I was told I could not stay, it was spoken into my mind.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes At some point I saw my deceased grandfather in my room, standing in the corner. I also saw my deceased grandmother in a field of green beans. I saw my deceased mother floating just in front of me out of my reach.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes An extremely intense bright light, much brighter than the sun.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I was in a beautiful field of green.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? A feeling of warmth, love, happiness, and serenity, without pain.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I did not have my life flash before my eyes. I just recall being informed that I could not stay and that it was not my time yet. I was angry and upset. The experience helped me to not fear death anymore.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes Not a distinct physical boundary, but I was trying to reach out to my mother, but I could not reach her.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist Baptist Experience
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I believe God kept me here so that I and my children could be baptized, I try to show love to others as much as possible.
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist Christian
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe God kept me here so that I and my children could be baptized, I try to show love to others as much as possible.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I just felt a sense of a better understanding of life, and definitely a sense of a higher power.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am more open to people than before, I love so much more, and easier. I realize what a gift life is, but an even greater gift awaits when this life ceases. I had not been baptized, but I am now.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Somewhat difficult, unable to fully describe the extreme feeling of peace and serenity. It was a feeling of love that surpasses understanding. The light so luminous that I felt as if I was not only in it but also a part of it. It was something I had never felt before.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have dreams now, usually about someone who passes away.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The feeling of calmness, peace and no pain was wonderful. Also, seeing my mother was very comforting, I missed her and wanted so much to be with her. When she died, she had lost a great deal of weight. She appeared vibrant, healthy and happy.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told my sister about it as soon as I was conscious and able to speak. Her reaction was to tell me not to leave her. We now have a closer relationship with each other and with God.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I have only heard about NDE mostly on television, not any personal accounts.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew it was real because I had never felt anything like that before, nor since. My whole body seemed to tingle, and I still recall the sense of peace and of not being alone.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It is hard to explain why I believe, I just do. Things occurred sort of in a sequence, as if planned somehow.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Just that I believe in God, the Father, Jesus the Son, and His Helper, the Holy Spirit. I believe God allowed me to see and return to share my experience with others.