Experience Description

I'll try to recall this as accurately possible. But first, I wanted to stress that I'm not positive if I had been confirmed dead just that I remember hearing the nurse say, 'We are losing her,' and I went out...

Okay here is the beginning. I remember a few friends and me, including my boyfriend at the time, went to a gathering over at some other friend's home, we smoked some marijuana and I was pretty high. When we went to get into the car, I told my boyfriend, 'If I don't sit in the front seat, I'll end up in the hospital.' He just laughed and thought I was kidding. But I wasn't and at the time that I said it I didn't think about it, I just thought it must be the drugs. I ended up sitting in the back seat. While we were driving on the interstate I remember seeing us in a horrible accident off the exit we were going towards, I kept seeing it vividly. I told my friend Jenny to use another exit, she thought I was freaking out and ignored me. When we got to exit 181, Jenny wanted to turn left when you could only go right, well as she pulled out to make the turn the car stalled. Within a second, before I could blink, I saw nothing but headlights staring at me on the left side of the car window. The truck had hit us. Broadsided us good. Time seemed to stand still as the car was thrown in the middle of the busy street, it spun around and the glass slowly started breaking, it is hard to explain but it was like in slow motion.

Back then I wore glasses, my glasses flew off my face and in the middle of all this, I asked, 'Where's my glasses?' Glass flew in my face from all directions it seemed and I remember spitting glass out of my mouth. I felt that at that moment I was going to die. When the car stopped spinning, my boyfriend looked back and saw that I was bleeding from the left side of my head. I didn't realize I had been bleeding at all. I looked down to see that my entire sweater was covered in blood. I felt the side of my head, the temple part and I could feel a gouge in it, like a hole. I thought that my brain was hanging out of my skull and started screaming. My boyfriend reached back with his hands and put pressure on it to stop the bleeding. Then, I remember Jenny freaking out saying, 'Leave her. Leave her, she's dead, I'm going to prison forever. My God Susan is dead, I killed Susan.' I sat there in the car in shock, I was numb, could not feel any pain. My boyfriend dragged me out of the car and laid me down on some grass near the road. Several cars stopped and people were getting out. One man in particular kneeled beside me and held my hand while other people stood by and watched in horror. I remember the man saying it was going to be okay. I heard the sirens, and the ambulance pulled up. The paramedics kneeled, and one of them looked at my injury, I asked them if it was bad. The guy said with a straight face, 'No, it's not bad.' But it really was.

When I was being hauled to the emergency room, my blood pressure was way high, I can't remember how high but it was bad. When I got to the emergency room, they told me I lost a considerable amount of blood, about two pints worth I believe it was. They said if I lost anymore, I would need a transfusion but they didn't think I would needed one now. As I lay there, this nurse was very supportive and trying to calm me down saying it was going to be okay. A bunch of doctors were in the room, I recall and then all the sudden I started going into some kind of convulsions, I threw up and then I remember not being able to speak, as I felt myself drift into blackness, I tried to say, 'I'm, I'm passing out, I'm passing out.' And the nurse said, 'We are losing her, BP over (blah, blah).....' and I heard the doctors trying to revive me.

Then, it's like I saw nothing but blackness and I could hear echoes of their voices. I didn't feel afraid though, I felt fine and at peace but couldn't figure out why. Nothing made much sense to me but I didn't feel any pain or fear, also I could hear someone praying over me. I saw no light in this experience, just a black tunnel. Then they had revived me and I was okay. I know this doesn't make any sense but this is what happened. And I'm not even sure I was clinically dead to be honest, I thought I passed out. I never got a real answer, I was just told that they almost lost me and that I was very lucky. Since the experience, I have been more psychic, I can't really see into the future, but I can feel a person's energy and tell them what's going on. It's really strange. I'm not sure what happened to me that night, and I can't really say I died because I'm not certain. All I know is that I was told I was near death, so I guess I did die for a moment. I'll never forget it. One thing I regret is not seeing angels or anything -- I wonder why I didn't. I read others who say they have, but why didn't I?

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1986

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Life threatening event, but not clinical death I had serious trauma to my left temple, and lost about two pints of blood, cuts and lacerations by my left eye and the top of my left ear had been severed but they saved it and basically put it back on so to speak.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I just recall the black tunnel, I didn't feel anything extraordinary, no real body sensations just that I felt unafraid and I felt peaceful.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I seemed pretty alert to what was going on around me, but everything seemed in slow motion.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Like I said, when I was in the accident time felt like it had gone into slow motion. Also during the time I passed out I felt like time had stopped.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The doctors and nurses echoing voices if that makes any sense. And someone praying over me.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was like a black tunnel and I felt as though I were going somewhere but I couldn't feel it physically, I don't know how to describe it to make any sense, it doesn't even make sense to me.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, no fear.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future The only time is before the accident had occurred not during the time in the emergency room.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I did feel a sense of awakening that I had woke up out of a dead sleep.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes When I was in the emergency room I wasn't sure if I had died, all I remember is hearing one of the nurses say, 'We are losing her,' and then I had passed out, everything went black.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I could feel a person's energy after the experience. I hope I don't sound like an idiot here, I don't know how to describe it any other way.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best part of it was that I felt at peace, the worst part is when I woke up and then I feared everything and as a result developed panic disorder.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it with my mother, and she believes in NDE, so it was no surprise to her but she was interested in what it felt like etc., but I told her I wasn't sure if it was an NDE or not. I'm still confused about it. I told my best friend also, and she was interested in how it felt also.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? You know writing all this down has really made me think that I don't have to fear death because I was near it I guess. I mean I should have been afraid I thought, but I wasn't afraid I was feeling just fine, I felt like there was nothing to be afraid of at all. It was so strange.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I am pleased with the questions you provided. Thank you.