On October 18, 2006, I'm undergoing a simple endoscopy for a control about a stomach ulcer; general anesthesia, in the wake-up room I'm waking up with pain and an unbearable feeling of burning. I feel very bad. I feel that something is wrong. The nurses initially try to reassure me, saying that I am reacting badly to anesthesia. I'm insisting and getting more and more agitated. I'm yelling, oh my god how bad I feel. I'm burning inside. They are several, trying to hold me back. Suddenly I start vomiting blood. and there's where everything starts. I have the 'inner' version and the 'out of my body' version.
Outside. : I 'sense' and see the panic, from above I watch the scene like a scene of a movie. I'm on the stretcher, curled up. they are holding me by my arms, one is holding my head. Blood is flooding from my mouth to the floor, I have pain. help, stop this!!! The nurses look at each other and start to panic. I'm spitting blood. They trigger an alarm, that I hear. they are screaming. the doctor is coming. He stretches me out, holds my hand, seems terribly sorry, he tells me don't worry, it must have perforated, I will take care of you; we will put you back to sleep, relax, don't worry. I'm looking at him and am leaving. I'm already above you. I'm dying. I know that I'm dying, it's now.
Inside : Oh my god how painful. it's unbearable, I cannot stand it. it's not human to bear such pain. stop, I want it to stop. I want it. Now. STOP and there my brain said yes, go, leave. Everything around is turning hazy, like cotton. what's happening? Come, come now. I have no fear. I feel less and less bad, pain is flying away at the same time as I do, going above this body that is hurting so much, that I don't want anymore. It is hurting me. I'm sinking into this well-being, the room is lighting up, changes light. it's so very white but not blinding. I feel good, in peace, I don't hurt anymore. I'm thinking about my boys (without seeing their picture before my eyes). good bye babies. No, my angels. Good bye my angels. I feel no sorrow at all to leave them, no fear to go where I don't know. I want to go there. I feel so good, so in peace. I know that I nevertheless will be with them. I just change my place. that's all. nothing serious. I'm next to them. Everything is white; in peace, without pain, without anything except happiness and an absolute well-being, which cannot be described in words. Leave me there. Now I'm well.
Date NDE Occurred: 18/10/2006
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related. Other hémorragie interne entrainant un arrêt cardiaque.
Internal hemorrhage. Three cardiac arrests in 2 hours; two spontaneous ones, and one following septic shock on the surgery table...was brought back by shocking.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain See Experience
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal An impression of being double...I feel my body and the passage, but at the same time I see everything that's happening in the room. I'm outside of my body...but it's still mine. It's I there. My brain is talking to me.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Just before the 'passage'.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
No notion of time anymore...everything stops. For me no notion of a reality related to life, and for me time, the hour, is related to the living world. There it doesn't exist.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. A slightly tubular vision, focused on something or somebody, but no details of the whole environment. I couldn't describe it distinctly, except what was attracting me.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Not much hearing or very hushed.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I'm more aware of a light and of a very white cocoon, like cotton, very soft, very attractive. You want to go there.
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Of an unbelievable whiteness, but not blinding. So very beautiful and attractive.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I entered death...the other side. Paradise. For me this was paradise.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Total well-being, appeasement, no suffering at all, nothing except total happiness. A self-realization.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Only about my loved ones, no visions or forebodings about persons that I don't know.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic catholique peu pratiquante.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I'm going to church a bit more often, in order to pray that my living loved ones should be taken care of; I know that the dead are fine.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic avec une conscience spirituelle plus importante...croyance formelle aux entités bienveillantes qui aident au passage. croyance aux 'anges gardiens'
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Even being a believer, for me after death, there was nothing anymore. Body stops, the heart, the brain. Point. But now I believe in the afterlife. I believe in entities welcoming us... in those helping you.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes In my beliefs in the afterlife, in guardian angels, and spiritual changes. I'm now getting more precise sensations that I didn't even question before. Things that I feel about the future of my close ones. I'm noting them in a booklet when they come to me, in order to verify if they will happen...we'll see.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify If I try to remember I have the impression that it was my voice, but I very clearly heard several 'come', 'everything is fine', so this could not be my voice or me. So it must have been somebody else but I have no knowledge of who it was.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes toujours conscience des êtres que vous aimez. mes enfants... j'ai toujours eu conscience de l'existence de mes enfants
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I experienced a little bit of death. But not everybody has. It's a rare experience. I can talk about what I experienced.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain Difficult question. You know where you are and why you are there. You are dying, I was fully aware of this. As for me, I experienced such a physical pain before the 'passage', that this was the cause of it. So...the consciousness that here I had no pain anymore.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably does not exist
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes My feeling that I was 'alive' elsewhere, in another world but with perceptions; so not empty nor dead. Alive elsewhere.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes One doesn't need to fear death. It is beautiful. You feel good there. Those who are leaving are just elsewhere but fine; better than in life.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Universal love. Nothing earthly and of the domain of life. Unconditional love, fully.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Sometime after my coma, I saw, several times, entities. White forms more or less fuzzy. When I'm alone, never when I'm with people. Nothing that scares me. For me they are my guardian angels. They watch over me and will be there when my time will come again.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The words to describe those sensations do not exist in the French language. They are not strong enough. It's more, more, more than just feeling appeased or a well-being...it's reaching Eden. A feeling never reached while being 'alive'.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It's more an awareness than a memory. You live this kind of experience with your soul...not with your body or your brain.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have the impression to know the future of my eldest son; only about him. I have the impression to feel the good in certain people; to know within seconds if a couple is strong or not...if it will last...if people do love each other really or not; in short...strange!
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My husband, my mother.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Studied psychology, so it was studied in a course.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real. I was so drugged when waking up in intensive care, that I wasn't able to think about or not...at that moment I didn't even think about it. It came back later... At that moment, you mix the subconscious, the coma, and the dreams.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It's a too strong a feeling for not having existed; then you compare with the testimony of others, you see the common points, the same words that come up, precise terms about what we all saw or felt.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Impossible while alive!