I knew I was before God in total darkness and that God was blocking my entrance into heaven. I desperately wanted into heaven but on an intuitive rather than rational level. At this time, I was happily married with two very small children and a family very dependent on my career yet the 'pull' of heaven was very powerful. I pleaded for entrance but the voice of God said, 'No, not yet!'
Later, when I spoke to an acquaintance, who had investigated and found me, he said, 'It was freaky, you were awake and talking. When I saw the blood coming from your ears, I got nervous and left to get help.' I was shocked because I had no memory of talking with him or of the accident itself. In hindsight, he did not say that I was talking to him.
I was able to piece together the accident from second-hand accounts: there had been a light snowfall and black ice; I was driving past a service station on the Alaskan Highway south of Fort Nelson when the vehicle in front of me slowed down forcing me to apply my brakes and sending me into a spin on the approaching lane. A truck coming from the opposite direction hit me in my spin, sending me off the road. This incident led to a new ruling in insurance claims for 'no fault' accidents.
Date NDE Occurred: January (11th?) 1994
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes AccidentDirect head injury Other not clinically verified
Unconscious after serious car accident in which car was knocked off the road into a field - car totaled, was freed by fire department using 'jaws of life' technology.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I am not sure what you mean by high level consciousness/alertness. I remember being extremely aware of heaven behind a great darkness and presence before me.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had no vision. This appeared to be auditory because of the darkness.
While my thoughts appeared normal to me in the experience, after the experience, I noted signs of serious brain damage including time dilation, and fading in and out of consciousness, an inability to connect the pain of broken ribs to reality, a lack of rational thought, and complete lack of social inhibition. Afterward, I hallucinated, especially during the first month. These were clearly not like the experience itself but more consistent with psychosis of a temporary nature. I was essentially normal again one and a half months after the accident. My desire to 'help the Church in Japan' came to me after this for no apparent reason, although I did feel freed of my materialism at this time (post-accident, post-brain damage). I am associating the strange desire to 'help' with the experience.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Only the presence of God. Communication as described above.
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Elation and desperation followed by confusion, disappointment and embarrassment.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes No, I could not cross.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain For a considerable time, I felt charged to help the Church in Japan. Prior to this, I had no desire to be a missionary. Because of this, I was one for four years, ending in our return to Canada in March 2001.
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain For a considerable time, I felt charged to help the Church in Japan. Prior to this, I had no desire to be a missionary. Because of this, I was one for four years, ending in our return to Canada in March 2001.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Certainty I was before God and blocked from heaven.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, I was hurt at the tone of God's 'voice'; he seemed disappointed in me. This bothered me for a long time.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes As soon as I could coherently communicate with others. They thought I was still suffering from mental damage. Later, individuals just accepted what I said but were not particularly encouraging (wishing, I believe, to change the topic). Very few were excited. Those who were shared similar beliefs of heaven.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I remember hearing stories. I had not heard of NDE but of dying and coming back. Generally, from people of a religious nature. Yes, a desire or certain will to 'help the Church in Japan.'
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I believed with a certainty it happened. After all of the time that has passed, I still believe it.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was a water-shed moment in my life.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It seems dramatically different from most experiences you addressed in your book. I have added this experience to your list because of the apparent disparity. I wonder if there are influences, other-worldly certainly, but of less than benign intent, deliberately attempting to mislead people who find themselves in this fragile state of consciousness (a state you refer to as unconscious).
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Do you believe in a personal, loving Creator?