Shirley R NDE

Experience Description

Transfusion in the middle of a fourteen hour major kidney surgery that did not work. Experience happened during post-op in my hospital bed, a few hours after surgery.

Standing at the light, that is not really a light like we know on earth, I felt I finally was home after a long, long journey. Every question I ever wanted to know about the universe and life was answered at that moment and not a word was spoken, but I could feel the information enter my soul. There were silhouettes of women and men and children floating up at an angle through a fog like light. All were looking up at an angle and I was watching them and waiting for what seemed like my turn. I was filled with happiness, safety, and love, everything we the people look for and seek out here on earth. I still cry to go home into the light, I do not want to be here on earth anymore, but know that I have no choice not even suicide.

The whole experience seemed to be over in a second when in fact it lasted hours or days, I really cannot pin point a time, and in fact the whole experience is played over and over in my mind daily, still in 2008.Transfusion in the middle of a fourteen hour major kidney surgery that did not work. Experience happened during post-op in my hospital bed, a few hours after surgery.

Standing at the light, that is not really a light like we know on earth, I felt I finally was home after a long, long journey. Every question I ever wanted to know about the universe and life was answered at that moment and not a word was spoken, but I could feel the information enter my soul. There were silhouettes of women and men and children floating up at an angle through a fog like light. All were looking up at an angle and I was watching them and waiting for what seemed like my turn. I was filled with happiness, safety, and love, everything we the people look for and seek out here on earth. I still cry to go home into the light, I do not want to be here on earth anymore, but know that I have no choice not even suicide.

The whole experience seemed to be over in a second when in fact it lasted hours or days, I really cannot pin point a time, and in fact the whole experience is played over and over in my mind daily, still in 2008.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1985

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Illness. Surgery-relatedHeart attackAllergic reaction 'Bi-Lateral imbedded kidney stones with membrane growth surrounding them. Three stones the size of quarters, both kidneys.' 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' 'Transfusion in the middle of a 14 hour major kidney surgery that did not work. Experience happened during post-op in my hospital bed, a few hours after surgery. Sent to UCLA for experimental bilateral kidney surgery, KWSL machine new in U.S. #2001 patien

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The whole time at the light I remember feeling very awake and very alert almost childlike feeling, that innocent feeling. Totally safe and home, no doubt about it.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning At the time at the light there was no thought about time or space or sense, this is remembered after the fact, when you are all alone thinking about your time at the light things are remembered later for me anyway.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I wear trifocal glasses, I did not need glasses at the light and felt no pain only joy to be home. There were no colors except light and dark fog like presence around the entrance to the upward light, the light is for sure the path home for all of us. I felt perfect in every way, mental, physical, spiritually, love, safe, happy, knowledgeable, important and alive. Figures that were already in the light were dark charcoal, not black. Everyone moved through the light alone, not holding hands or any contact at all with each other, we all go home alone it seems.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There were no words spoken and yet I heard every word very clear and doubted nothing said. Very clear and not of earth, you know it is our higher source and this is the overwhelming happiness to find out there really is a higher source guiding us home when it is our time.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No I only got to see it and stand at the entrance and watch others move through.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw a woman and a man and a child moving up through the light, they seemed to be floating without motion but moving up through the light. Again, there is no color, just shades of grey, fog, and light. I did not know anyone and there was no communication, I did not have to ask, the questions were already answered when I got there.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A ray of soft but very clear fog-like tunnel of light at an upward angle, with no end in sight.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It goes without saying that once at the light one is without a doubt in a different dimension and level. Once a person is at total peace with everything on earth, everything is beautiful without color.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Total Bliss, I was so happy and eager to be home at the light.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Yes, Yes, Yes, I learned the Ancient Art form of Reverse Painting on Glass, I can fix things that I have never seen before or done. Sometimes I can take another person's pain or tell if they have an illness just by touching their hand or body, I stay away from this part as much as I can. I seem to know things; all things make more sense. Now I feel anger that I did not get to go home, I wanted to stay home and feel how I felt at the light forever. Life on Earth is our true hell, and that is comfortable to know there is no burning hell that we have to endure after death.

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I really cannot describe the accurate future of events that I learned. There are too many and I am not a schooled person on earth. I can say that most complicated things in life are the simplest to fix.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate None

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I now know without a doubt that a higher source is guiding us all, one by one.

What is your religion now? Moderate None

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I now know without a doubt that a higher source is guiding us all, one by one.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No Not until several weeks later, after the experience was over at the time of near death.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I do not have a relationship anymore; I find it hard to talk to people.

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I was sent back to do a second term on earth and why I do not know, there were no words to speak of, just a matter of fact not to question the higher source, I was home and there was nothing to question at all, I felt safe and did not want to leave the light.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I am now a published artist that does reverse painting on glass and a published poet with two books and more. I seem to know things like how to fix mechanical things that I have never seen or handled before. I seem to sometimes know what is going to happen to people before it happens or when someone is sick, just by touching there hand or person, and sometimes I can take their pain away.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? No just one, but all, the whole experience has been significant to me and will be until I get to go home and stay.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I think about two months passed before I told anyone and I was not believed at all, just humored like today from most. Even after proof I knew something before it happened or called it and it happened, I was questioned about how real it was and how sane am I. I now have stopped telling anyone until now in this statement of fact from myself.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real There is no choice as to the real of the near death experience, it is without a doubt true, you cannot even question it with yourself or anyone else, it is just so. There are no questions unanswered at the light.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real The true meaning of life is not explainable and I cannot say why, some of the truth you get at the light is for you only and is not explainable because it is not for the living to know how to apply it to life as we know. I am driven to paint what I saw at the light and until I finish the painting I will be here on earth still painting in reverse.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I am surprised at the over whelming sadness I feel from being sent back to earth and this is everyday so far.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? The near death experience will last the duration of your life on earth. New things will always pop into your thoughts, like things forgotten at the light, or discovering that new gift you came back with is endless.