Experience Description

I was walking upstairs from our apartment to go outside. My boyfriend was there and I put my arms around his neck, told him to hold me because I was going to pass out. He thought I was joking, let me go and I fell backwards and slammed my head against the frozen concrete walkway. This is what I experienced.

I became conscious that I was in complete darkness and alone. I had zero sense of body but a complete sense of self. I was me (sense of humor, intelligence etc.) I was suspended - just there. I perceived a spot of color way off in the distance, like a small pinprick of color on a jet black blotter. My thought was, 'Oh what is that?' The moment I thought it, I moved forward, almost like my curiosity propelled me. I knew I had no body so it was like floating forward, I remember thinking, 'Wow this is cool,' and I wanted to see what the color was. The more curious I got the faster I was propelled forward, like flying, it felt incredibly freeing. I really liked it and the more I wanted to go faster, the faster I went. As I got closer to the color, I heard faint music and smelt an incredibly intoxicating scent. I focused my mind and I was really ripping through space now and I found myself skimming over this all-encompassing landscape of such colorful flowers (colors that I have never seen before and I realized that was a sad thing), the smell of them was so incredible and the music was so loud and sweet. I was in total control but couldn't stop, I kept going faster, the faster I went the more colorful the flowers, the more powerful their smell and the louder and sweeter the music until everything reached such a crescendo I was throw into a stunning moment of light/clarity.

I remember thinking, 'So that's what it's all about,' and I felt like I had thrown my head back (if I would have had a head) and let out such an incredible belly laugh (didn't have a belly either). The truth is incredibly funny and it is a living thing.

The moment that I thought, 'So that's what it's all about,' and laughed, I woke up on the ground to see my boyfriend white as a ghost hovering right above my face. He said that I was out for over ten minutes but he thought I was fooling around because he said that I had the most beautiful smile on my face that he had ever seen.

The lesson that I took away from this event is the following:

1) Do not live in fear. Fear will keep you stuck in a dark space/void. (If I would not have wanted to see what that speck of light was and if I would have been afraid to go, I would still be suspended in darkness).

2) Never lose your sense of childlike wonder and curiosity, it will take you/lead you where you need to go.

3) Do not lose your sense of humor, I believe that the truth is funny and we need to lighten up a little.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1986

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Was fainting/losing sight for no reason Other Was fainting/losing sight for no reason. I fainted and my head slammed against the frozen concrete (winter in Canada).

How do you consider the content of your experience?

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Throughout the whole experience.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Throughout the whole experience.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I had no body and could propel myself forward with thought/curiosity until I could really fly.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did your vision differ in any way from normal? The colors, smells and sounds were otherworldly. They do not exist here - unfortunately.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I heard only beauty.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain The only thing I can feel that is right, is that the moment of light/clarity/knowledge was a living thing. (I felt like it was sharing a joke with me) and I know that it has an incredible sense of humor.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Colored speck which grew and ended with a bright light/moment of clarity.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm An incredible landscape of flowers that completley covered any ground, it was like a never ending sea/explosion of breathtaking colors (that I wish I could reproduce and surround myself with)

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Curiosity, joy, humor, complete understanding and I felt beauty all around me.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal NONE

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I have always believed that if we are made in God's image, then he would want us to take all the faith, love and belief that we put into an intangible entity and turn it back into ourselves, for we are he and he is we.

What is your religion now? Liberal NONE

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I have always believed that if we are made in God's image, then he would want us to take all the faith, love and belief that we put into an intangible entity and turn it back into ourselves, for we are he and he is we.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes When everything reached the crescendo, I knew everything. I laughed like an uninhibited child and then was sent back (I know I shouldn't have known what I knew).

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of it.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I only recently told my mom. Told her if she ever became conscious of being in the dark and alone, not to be scared and to be curious and go exploring.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I was taught a life lesson about how we should all stay young at heart.

Curiosity and a sense of wonder are what we should use to experience this world that we live in and to enjoy the beauty that surrounds us.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I remember it as vivid as the day it happened. I have no fear of death. I think what comes next is going to be incredible.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No, I think I've said it all.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No, you covered everything.