I had been out with a girlfriend and had come home. I snuggled up to my husband and he said, 'Do you feel this?' It was the knife pressed to my throat. He raped me at knifepoint, tried to get me to take a bunch of pills. All the while saying things like, 'Now you'll call the police' or 'I'm going to kill you.' I had asked for a divorce a couple weeks before that and he'd asked me to wait till after Xmas because of the kids. We had three, two of which were his from a previous marriage. Anyway, I had started calming down, getting pissed, and I scooted to the end of the bed to get up and the first stab got me in the back. We fought over the knife and he finally plunged it into my chest. He then hugged me and I said 'You've killed me.' He left the room and went upstairs where I could hear the girls screaming.
I kept thinking I have to keep my hands closed because both of my thumbs were just hanging having been cut to the bone while fighting over the knife. So I laid down and covered up with a quilt. I was getting cold and having a hard time breathing because, I found out later, the first stabbing had punctured my lung. When the ambulance attendants came downstairs, they checked me over and I wouldn't let them take me till they put on me a clean pair of underwear. I guess my mother's warning stuck in my head. When we got into the ambulance, I started getting SO COLD! I still to this day can't take the cold. I found out later I went into shock.
The next thing I knew I was in the emergency room floating above watching the doctors shock me back into my body. They took me into surgery. The next thing I remember is someone pushing on my stomach and the pain was excruciating. Someone said, 'Rebound,' and we were headed back into surgery. I was in a coma for eight days, so I'm not sure exactly 'when' but at some point I found myself traveling a dark tunnel with a bright light beckoning. The closer I got to the light the more love I felt. The light got bigger and bigger and I could see all kinds of loved ones who had passed on. My grandma Jessie had her arms wide open to hug me and the closer I got the more overwhelming love I felt. I heard beautiful music and saw angels all lined up across the sky behind my relatives. I was so happy!! I felt SO MUCH love through every pore in my body. All of a sudden, I heard my mother saying 'Think of Tina,' (my daughter) 'Think of Tina,' and the light started getting farther away. I came to.
Date NDE Occurred: 'November 7, 1979'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Criminal attack Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I was stabbed several times, raped, tortured both physically and emotionally by my husband who in seven years of marriage, had not raised a hand to me in anger.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Just before I started hearing my mother's voice. The colors were so intense, the music was so pure.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I sensed that I was seeing a lot in a small glimpse.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see very far in the distance and everyone was so filled with love that they were almost glowing. The colors were extremely vivid.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear them talking among themselves saying things like how glad they were to see me. The music got louder the closer I got to the light.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was definitely kind of like a tunnel I couldn't see on the other side of it.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw a lot of relatives and friends who had passed on. They didn't talk directly to me but I could hear them talking amongst themselves.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes And it kept getting closer and wider.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Overwhelming love!
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Methodist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Liberal Same
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have become a better person because of it because I want to make sure that when my time does come, I end up back up there.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain I can't describe the overwhelming feeling of love pouring through all my cells!
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes If I dream about someone for three nights in a row, that person had usually had something bad happen to them.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The love, I have not been afraid to die since then.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Six months maybe before I spoke to a psychic.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I just knew in my heart that it was real and that I was extremely lucky to have felt that incredible amount of love.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I just know in my bones.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No