It was the beginning of the Christmas holiday where I worked. I had not been feeling well for quite sometime, but thought it was just the holiday rush. I went to my best friends house for a Christmas party, but left early because I was feeling worse. I began vomiting uncontrollably on December 24th and thought I had the flu. I remember sitting in the bathroom after a bout of vomiting and noticed a red line moving from my left wrist traveling almost up to my elbow. I did not connect this to my illness at the time. All I knew was that I missed my husband, who passed away in 2001,and that I was so sick I wanted to die. My daughter had come home to go with her brother and myself to my in-laws for Christmas Eve. I told her to take her brother and go without me as I was in bed with severe chills. She refused to listen and insisted on taking me to the hospital.
Once we arrived at the hospital, I started moving in and out of consciousness. I remember a nurse scolding me that I hadn't noticed blood in my urine. The next thing I remember was two nurses lifting me on to a CAT Scan table and them saying 'She's so small.' In my head I was insulted and thought 'I'm not so small' At the time I was 5'2' and weighed 105 lbs. So I guess, yes I was small. The Cat Scan showed I had a considerably large kidney stone that had blocked one of my kidneys. They prepped me for surgery to put a stent in to bypass the kidney stone. I remember my daughter and her boyfriend walking down the hall and kissing me. The next thing I remembered was I was feeling so sad that the nurses and doctors had to be working on Christmas Eve and it was my fault. This part I was told by a nurse. They inserted the stent, but when they tried to bring me out of anesthesia I would not wake up. I was taken to intensive care unit and put on full life support. My daughter was told that I had less then a 50% chance of making it through the night.
While this was going on I found myself out of my body and at my place of work. I was seeing the shop floor through a cool-aid orange color. I was not walking, but felt as if I were gliding. My peripheral vision was expanded almost to a full 360 degrees. My thoughts were 'Where is everyone? Why are there no people working?' Later I believe it was because it was a holiday and the plant was shut down for the week.
I started to search for something and found myself at the warehouse where my husband had worked for over 10 years. Now I was on a mission. I saw a door with an EXIT sign and was feeling that what I wanted was on the other side of that door. As I reached to push the door open, I heard my daughter calling me from behind. She was yelling 'MOM! MOM! Just as I started to turn towards her voice, I was slammed back into my body.
My daughter was yelling 'Mom, Mom STOP! You have a breathing tube in your throat.' My first thought was, 'Oh crap I'm back!' I felt like a freight train had hit me and my body was so heavy and confining. My last thought before I went unconscious again was 'I almost made it'. I spent the next week in and out of a coma. I remember laying in the bed and listening to my daughter and her boyfriend argue about how she should go home and rest. Somehow I could see them. The boyfriend was playing checkers with my son and she was going into the bathroom to blow her nose. In my head I was yelling 'Yes Bran you need to go home and take care of yourself. Listen to him.' She later told me she could tell when I was there and when I wasn't. While I was laying in the bed I felt like there was a huge space behind me, but later I saw the room that I was in and it was small with a wall right behind the bed. There came a point where they said if I didn't start breathing on my own I would never come out of the coma. It was now the second week in January. The breathing tube was removed and I started to breathe on my own. It took 2 months of therapy an lung treatments before I was released to go home.
Date NDE Occurred: 12/24/2008
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Other: I was in a Coma and on life support. 50% chance of survival
Septic Shock due to Kidney Stone and in a Coma: on life support. 50% chance of survival
How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain When my daughter and her boyfriend were arguing over her needing rest. All three stated this occurred.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal There was a knowing that there was more to this world than meets the eye.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was reaching for the door.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time lost meaning. It did not matter to me any longer.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was a huge difference. My peripheral vision was expanded and I saw everything through a Kool-Aid orange color.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard nothing, but silence until my daughter started calling for me.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I felt they were on the other side of the door.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first confusion, then excitement. I was going home. I was finding what I had lost.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe It was later, upon pondering my experience that I started to understand that we are all connected. There is more than just our 3D existence.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes A door clearly marked EXIT.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian I was in an unsure place at time of experience. My husband had passed away 7 years prior and was unsure if god even existed.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have stopped searching for a specific religion to follow. All have some of the puzzle pieces, but no single one has the complete picture.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths I have done much soul searching since my NDE. I believe we are are all part of the entity referred to as God. That all life is part of a collective consciousness. I consider Jesus, Mohammad and all prophets as brothers who spent their lives directly connected to the collective conscience. I believe they were trying to teach us what was expected of us here on earth. Unfortunately I feel we are failing.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I have always had belief that there is more than meets the eye with what goes on in this physical world. I believe that there are stages to our journey. I never believed in a god as having a long white beard and sitting on a throne. I think my experience was exactly what I believed at the time, that I was roaming the places that were familiar to me. Places where I thought I would find my friends and loved ones. I believe the spiritual dimension and this physical dimension are interwoven. I believe that there are staging areas where our spirit goes when our bodies can no longer serve us.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I think I have become more spiritual.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I felt like there were people spirits on the other side of the door. I'm confident that if I could have opened that door I would have seen my husband and others who had passed.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt the other side of the door was where I wanted to be. I was trying to go home.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Uncertain I just felt that there was something else on the other side of the door, to where I wanted to go.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain I think my experience was the first step towards finding our way back to the source. I believe my motherly instincts overrode my desire to go through the door.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain I felt that if I could just get through the door, I would find love and acceptance.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I see God as a collective combination of all living entities: a collective soul. We carry a piece of the whole inside a physical body in order to gather experiences to keep the collective soul balanced. When it is time for us to return to the whole, we shed our physical bodies. We may linger and walk among our loved ones for a time. I also believe we can return to our loved ones still on the physical plain whenever we chose. We are not bound by the physical plain any longer. We also return to a life in physical world in order to keep providing the collective soul with new experiences, both positive and negative. The collective soul is a balance of both positive and negative, and must remain so. The earth souls seem to be experiencing more negativity lately. But be assured the collective soul will bring about balance one way or the other.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am more protective of my children. They are grown, but my love for them is stronger than ever. Now I have two granddaughters who I cater to whenever I can.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The part where the peripheral vision occurred is hard to describe. The movement of me from place to place is also hard to describe.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. When I awoke from the coma, I could not remember much. What I do remember most vividly is my experience. Being sick and the time required to recover are a blur, but the NDE is hard-wired in my mind and soul. I could not forget it if I tried. I still miss the feeling of being free of this dense physical body.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The bond of love between a mother and her children. That bond overrode my desire to walk through that door. That it over powered the desire to go to a place where I knew it was easier than living in the physical plain.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared my experience with family first, then co-workers. Most said it gave them chills. That it was a miracle. Some people did not feel comfortable talking about it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I have always been interested in the afterlife. I was disappointed when I didn't see a tunnel or deceased relatives. I know now it's because I didn't get far enough.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real My experience felt more real than the reality of being back in a human body.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I can still remember details and emotions of my experience. I cannot remember much of the healing process.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think you have it covered pretty well. I'm curious to see what happens when I submit.