I had been gradually becoming short of breath over a couple months. The week before, I had gone into see a doctor who said I just had a virus. I was sent home with an expectorant. I gradually got worse to the point that I stayed home from work sick. I was in school at the time and my classes had just started that week. As I laid on the couch, I had the overwhelming feeling that I needed to cancel my classes. This was a strange feeling since I was anxious to finish school. I called and was able to be removed from my classes. A few hours later, I decided that maybe I needed to go back in to see a doctor. I got up from the couch and attempted to go fix myself up in the bathroom. This resulted in me stumbling out to the living room and telling my adult son who had come home from work because he ‘felt’ like he needed to be there with me, to call 911.
I promptly passed out on the couch. I found myself immediately ‘flying’ over a green valley surrounded on both sides with high mountains. This landscape has always been one of my favorite and where I would escape to when life got rough. I enjoyed the freedom of fast movement but before I knew it, I was waking up on the couch with the paramedics coming in the door. At that time, I didn't realize that I had stopped breathing.
I was asked which hospital I wanted to go to. I had always said that I would never go to hospital south of me because I worked there occasionally. I had always said that I would go north to a different hospital. I started to say north then something told me to go south, so that's what I said. This made a difference in my story because had I gone north I probably would not have lived due to the highway and communication dead zones.
On my way to the hospital, I once again stopped breathing. This time I instantly arrived at a large doorway. The light coming from this doorway was so bright that I could not see in past the opening. I could see that there were many people just inside the door as I could see the tops of heads and waving arms but I did not know until later who they were. On both sides and behind me I was surrounded by a black darkness and I was very aware of the void that this darkness held. Then once again, I was back in my body. I looked up and told the medic, ‘wow I haven't felt this good in years.’ He said, ‘you do realized you just died on me don't you?’ Ah, that explained it all.
At the emergency room, I had one more episode that was the same as the second one. As I stood at the doorway, I was overwhelmed with emotions that I can barely describe. It was joyful, amazing, wonderful, exciting, and I no longer had any worries and was content to stay there.
Throughout that entire day, I felt as if I was cocooned in safety. I never was fearful. I don't know who held me tight as I was still alive and struggling to stay alive, but it was enough that I never felt alone and I understood that this would work out exactly the way it needed to.
Date NDE Occurred: 5 Feb 2010
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
It was determined that I had massive pulmonary emboli of unknown origins.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was free from the earthly thoughts and troubles which allowed me to focus on not only what I was seeing, but what I was feeling.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As I stood at the doorway on the second and third trip I was very aware of what was around me.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It is like a greatly enhanced everyday experience.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't remember anything that may have been said, but I did 'feel’ joyful voices on the inside of the doorway.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No I just instantly appeared in front of a large open doorway. If I did go through a tunnel, it was in the blackness behind me. I have no recollection of it.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Those who stood within the light. I knew that they were all relatives of mine.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Brilliant beyond compare. Nothing on earth can compare to this light.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I was standing at a brilliantly lit doorway. Behind and on the sides of me was a great darkness. I don't remember if I was actually standing on anything.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Comfort, wonder, and love - Lots of love. I also felt excitement and safety.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No I now understand many more things related to the afterlife and this life. However, just a few were very apparent. I am continuing to learn more as each day goes by.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes If you call the doorway I was not able to enter a boundary.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I have often said that I was ‘rejected’ three times so I have much more to accomplish here.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Mormon
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes They are stronger than ever.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Mormon
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience My brother in law passed away about 10 years ago. Prior to his death, he was in a coma. When he came to hours prior to his death, all he could say was that "it is so easy". I had often wondered what he was talking about, now I believe I know and it is different from what I was able to comprehend here on earth, yet much more that I could have imagined.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I had the overwhelming feeling that I knew all the people who were standing in the door. I was unable to see their faces. It wasn't until the next week when my grandfather, who I was very close to until I was about six, let me know that he was close by me.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain That concept now, more than before, is a feeling that screams it is true. I existed before and I will exist after.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I touched briefly on the events that occurred prior to my experience. Many more occurred after that scream that there is a God and HE LOVES ME.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I have always felt that I had a purpose and a mission here on earth. This experience only magnified the feeling.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I was "me". I still had form, but my spirit was much more powerful and free without the earthly body.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes The few times that I have attempted to share I come up lost for words and unable to verbalize what I want to share.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The feelings that radiated out from the light was full of unimaginable love. I often close my eyes and try to remember all that happened so that I can once again experiance that feeling. It does get harder as time goes by. I also learned for myself that
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life I have a totally new outlook on death and look at it as more of a transition instead of a death.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I have never been able to adequately express the feeling.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No I have always been ‘sensitive’ to spirits, feelings, etc.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Many parts, however I would rather not share in a public forum. I feel so blessed to have been given this knowledge of ‘going home’ and how incredible it will be. I walk past rooms in the local emergency room where I occasionally work, of those who are passing on and I always think, ‘lucky,’ they get to go home now.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Immediately. It was too good to keep bottled up inside.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had read a few accounts, but none of them were like my experience. I don't think my knowledge influenced my experience.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew instantly what I had experienced as soon as I was told that I had died. It is a definite extension of life here as I know it.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real The events are still very clear.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain