Late one afternoon in 2004, I was outside, feeling depressed and on an impulse, knowing full well that I was allergic, I decided to put an end to it all by stinging myself with a bee. When I went home, my father saw my swollen eyes and heard my weak voice he decided to send me to hospital. When I got there, I could no longer breathe and felt panicked because all I wanted was to breathe. Then I fainted.
Suddenly, I was propelled outside of my body and I could see the emergency doctors and another doctor come try to revive me. I could see around me. Everything was very bright and in sharp focus, no blurry vision. Then, looking at the scene I felt myself pulled into a vacuum that I couldn't see, everything was moving so fast. Then suddenly everything went black. For a moment I thought, hey, where is this, where am I? Then a great fright overtook me. Then a little later I said to myself, come on, calm down you can do it, and suddenly I felt calm and serene. To my great astonishment, I saw a brilliant white light that was very tiny then started growing more and more, coming toward me. I felt good and safe, but, when the light enveloped me, an enormous anger was coming from this light and it told me: 'Suicide is not a solution. Return to earth and start over! If you fail again you will have no more chances, I will send you where you must go!! There is a hell of horrible suffering!! You have not been good!' I replied, 'No, no, noooooo!' Then in an instant the light that had enveloped me was pulling away. Then, I was in darkness again. Then I woke up in a hospital bed.
Date NDE Occurred: 21 juillet 2004
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Suicide attempt Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
Because I felt alive even though I knew my body was dead.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the time when I could see my body, I was very lucid.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Felt that only the 'now' exists.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see more clearly.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was a dark and long tunnel.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The light.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes This light was so bright, brighter than the sun.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm oui, c'était lorsque j'étais hors de mon corps physique, je pouvais voir le monde
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? A feeling of complete lightness.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I saw my suicide and sensed an understanding of my act.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I did not believe in hell or in God, but only in a being without a precise image.
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I did not believe in hell or in God, but only in a being without a precise image.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Yes!! When the light enveloped me, I felt an enormous anger coming from this light because before seeing it I was feeling good and happy. And the light spoke to me - see main narrative for details.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am more alert and I am more understanding.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes!! Like when the light told me there is a hell of suffering!!! It is eternal!! I don't want to frighten anyone, sorry! But it's what the 'light' (God, the source) told me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had met people who'd seen a light of love. But for me it was different.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes!! That suicide and murders are not a solution, because the place where they'll end up is not pleasant!