It took me five years to be able to talk about my experience. On August 18, 2008, my sister gave me one of her cars and I drove from Maastricht to Cologne Airport. I had a flight to Budapest. It is only a 150 km drive. It was nice weather, warm and sunny. I was driving on the highway when I felt something push on my car behind me. I crashed under the truck in front of me because I couldn't control my car. I felt no pain as I blacked out.
I remember standing next to my body. I felt free, light, peaceful, and warm. It was simply an enjoyable situation. I saw people running around the wreck, trying to push my body on the tarmac. I tried to talk to them but realized I couldn't communicate with them. I kept telling them that I was good, and to leave me there. Suddenly, a high-powered light came down in my direction and sucked me into a vortex. It was uncomfortable, but I didn't care. I did not miss anyone or anything. I was just curious.
Within the vortex, I see pictures of faces and places all around me, but I was looking at them without any emotion. After a lapse of time, I stand in an eggshell colored place. It was quiet, peaceful, and warm. I was looking around. I enjoyed the view without any view. Normally I am very active, loud, and moving all the time. Seeing colors of only eggshell and white surprised me because it wasn't in keeping with my character. I told myself, 'this is cool!' I can stay here with no pain, no hunger, nothing. A voice, perhaps in my head, told me my travel wasn't finished.
In that moment, I felt a sucking force coming from above. The force drags me into a higher stream of energy where I left the earth and passed the moon and all the solar system. It felt fresh, a bit cold, and I felt a bit of panic. I saw the whole Universe floating around me, or I was floating inside this element. There are no words to describe the view and the feeling of the experience. I stopped to contemplate the beauty of the big bang theory, the evolution, the balance between good and less good. Another voice told me to continue.
In a flash of feeling, I traveled into a different zone. I arrived within a field of 'oily' colors that were pure and changing. A wind blows perfumed air. I had a sound of joy around me. Something or someone told me to follow, and I did. I stood next to a small creek. There was a movement inside the creek. It was very colorful and very oily. I had to touch it. I put my hand in this oily non-fluid creek. Instantly I was uploaded with all kinds of energy, knowledge, and electricity. It was like an input of a glorious bang in my head. I knew I was happy! Until this time, I had no physical feeling. The moment this energy went through my spiritual body, I could feel every molecule within me. I said to myself, 'Okay this is it! I stay here, no way back! Why should I go back?' At this time, I had no memories about my past, people, or places from my earthly life. All was gone. With no feeling of time or place, I felt a pain in my spine. Suddenly, everything started to change. Everything got dark and started to cool down.
Then without any warning, I was pushed back to my earthly body. That hurt! In my opinion, that was hell and I hated it. I woke up September 4, 2008 from a coma. Then my life changed.
Date NDE Occurred: 2008 August 18th
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I was in a serious car crash.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Before my accident I honestly didn't care about consciousness and alertness. I lived a cruel business life. After my accident and my recovery period of one year, I am more conscious and alert than normal.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The moment of the touching of the creek, with this tremendous feeling of bliss when I was uploaded with energy and knowledge.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision is sharp. I see in the dark and I can focus on small objects that others do not see. I can now see more normally.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I only hear what I want to hear. But now my hearing is stronger and more sensitive. I can't handle loud talk or noises. I close myself in my own shell. Apparently, I talk loudly but I do not have any control over it. Other days, I am very silent.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Let's call it vertigo in movement.
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I call it egg-shell. Is that a term of warm, welcoming light?
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Happy, Fortunate, Blessed, Joyful, radiant, carefree, light, balanced, and delighted with a discombobulated touch.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe The understanding what I perceive is a feeling deep inside me.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? No I can't speak about it. I feel like a geek. I see the future and what will happen to people, but I can't express it.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths I am a Freemason
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I'm freer. I have brighter thinking, more open to what Life gives to us.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Freemason
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience The human interpretation of "Holy" has been manipulated during the last centuries by humen for their own sociological, economical and personal interests....Tolerance is missing n the head of religious leaders...
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes A decrease in all material aspects.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify I didn't see anyone. I could only hear a voice. I don't know if it was it in my head. I am still confused today.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain the "voice" followed me and guided me... I experienced the energy..
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes This special knowledge I call it a 'burden': It is like I jump into people and feel their insides, their lies, uncertainties, fears, love, hope, and even more.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I am not able to write it down myself.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife does not exist
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes There is life evrywhere even after....
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Indeed I have! But I am not able to share..
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain same answer 36
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love is a complex settings of many emotions. Today Love for me is unconditional. It is quiet diffuclt for my surrounding to understand how I am. Many friends and family members turned their back on me.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life: A decrease on materials, futilities. I love unconditionally. I have no sense of time. I hear everything, I am constantly aware about movement around me. I definitely flow. God is a word but I prefer to call it 'The Light.' My definition of 'spiritual' turns into a way of life deep inside me.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes It is not easy for my partner to understand my behavior.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I'm terribly ashamed about my experience. People are not willing to understand my experience due to their fears, ignorance, and mediocrity.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can't speak about it.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I can't explain it.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I did. As an end result, I had a lot of criticism; family members and friends turned their backs on me. I left my comfort zone and moved to another country. I started in 2009 a new life.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I'm not able to be 'earthed'. I miss the feelings, the warmth, the Love and much more.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It is deep within me. I live it daily.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? There is life everywhere. The 'voice' followed me and guided me. I experienced the energy. Love is a complex setting of many emotions. Today, Love for me is unconditional. It is difficult for people in my surroundings to understand how I am. Many friends and family members turned their backs on me. Indeed, I have encountered specific information that is relevant to living our earthly lives! I am not able to share. Humans for their own sociological, economical and personal interests have manipulated the human interpretation of 'Holy' during the last centuries. 'Tolerance' is missing in the heads of religious leaders.