I was in an accident when I was 14 and cut my leg open and was taken to the hospital by ambulance. When I was hit, I saw my whole life play backwards in seconds. It was like watching a movie but, super-fast. Every detail of my life played back on that screen. I was thinking of all the people I loved and was sorry for being mean to anyone, if I was. Time seemed to slow down like it almost stopped. I thought I was going to die and asked God how I could die when I don't have even one happy memory. I thought what a sorry existence and waste of creation: to die so unhappy with no happy memory. I was abused as a child and will spare you the details. I was so angry that I didn't have a happy memory. I was abused, unloved and unwanted. It was a really crappy childhood.
After getting to the hospital, I was in the waiting room for 4 hours just bleeding. By, the time my father ripped back the curtain and pulled a nurse over, I was covered in blood from head to toe. My kneecap was hanging out and I needed to get into surgery fast. I had X-rays and from there went into surgery, where I was given a gas to put me under. I was afraid something was going to happen while I was under. I remembered my Grandfather had woken up during surgery and they weren't done operating on him yet. It's always stuck with me even to this day. I sucked in as much gas as I could because I didn't want to awaken during surgery. I thought I would just maybe go to sleep and dream. Well, I never lost consciousness and started freaking out. I was screaming and throwing myself all around. But, I wasn't really moving or yelling out loud. I was saying, 'I am still awake!!'
The next second I realized I was on the ceiling, completely calm and peaceful. I wondered why I could see the ceiling so well and so close up. I was weightless and seemed to be almost bouncing from the ceiling to floor. I heard a super high-pitched noise that was both heard and felt. It was painful to hear and I wanted to leave the area. As soon as I expressed discomfort, I was BOOM in a black space. It was blacker than black and completely void. I have always been scared of the dark and thought maybe something would get me. I tried to feel my body and I didn't have one. I thought I was dreaming and I didn't understand why I couldn't feel my body. I wondered what I looked like since I didn't have a body. I tried to touch myself with my hands, or what I sensed as hands, I went right through myself.
I wondered where the light was and where my Father was. I didn't like being in the dark and wanted to find a light switch or something. I thought it would be pointless to try to move around if I couldn't see where I was going. I wanted to get out of the blackness, thinking maybe something would get me. I didn't see or sense danger at any time in my experience. I would say, as soon as I got uncomfortable and was very concerned about my father and where the light was. I see a pin prick of light afar. In a flash, the light was coming right at me. I was an abused child and got hit a lot. I was afraid the light was going to hit me in the face. I moved out of the way, in fear of being hit. I turned around and saw this magical light full of color. There were gold, white and pinks, and all the colors together like a diamond has all the colors and sparkles. It seemed to be alive and was calling me into it.
I put my hand in first and it felt so incredible, one's mind can't express in words the feelings of immense LOVE. I put the rest of what I sensed to be my body into the light and I was in LOVE! I became ONE with the light. I was held immediately so close and tight. It felt like someone was hugging me. I was thinking I never wanted to leave the light because I thought the feeling would go away.
I never went back into the blackness. I allowed my walls to come down for the first time in my life. I allowed myself to get lost in the experience. I danced in the light and spun around. I was so happy to have felt good for the first time in my life. I wondered what I looked like since I couldn't see or feel myself before. I got a 360-degree view of myself. I looked the same as I always had. I only saw myself from the shoulders up. I thought, 'oh well, I look the same'.
I saw two white lights coming from afar and they had the shape of people. I thought the medicine was making me not see clearly. I kept trying to blink and blink again to see if it was just me seeing them like this. I never saw detail; they remained white light beings. That is the best way I could describe them. They came to me and I said 'I couldn't see you very well', and asked if they knew where my father was. They pointed and told me telepathically 'at the end of the light'.
I asked if they would come with me, because I couldn't see very well because I was in an accident. They agreed and we cautiously walked to the end of the light. I was almost inching my way because I didn't know what was on the other side at the end of the light. I asked them what was on the other side and they told me I had to go in to find out. I was afraid that the feeling I was feeling of Love and hugs would go away if I entered. I trusted the two white light beings to just go ahead and go in what felt like a doorway.
The light was so bright you couldn't see past it or into it. I mean the light didn't hurt my eyes at all. I just couldn't see past it to see the other side. When I passed through the doorway, I was now watching myself have this experience. I had three different perspectives of myself as well as a 360-degree view of everything. I saw myself ascending up into the huge border of clouds. I went up into it and came to a place I could only describe as a world of lights. Everything was sparkling and glittery, like diamonds! Everything was alive with light and glowing. The trees and every living plant and flower was pristine. There were no dead leaves or twigs from the trees or bushes. Everything was so clean and pristine.
I walked for what seemed a long while on this path or street: just looking around at how beautiful everything was. I came to a sort of crossroad. There was a building to the left of me. It was made of clear crystal-like material, I would say. The building seemed to go into the ground and came up at the coolest angle. I remember being like 'whoa that is so cool'. I saw there were 12 clear crystal walls or foundations you could say. There were names written on them in different colors. They were English names because I could read them. I don't remember the names now. But, I do remember saying to myself that I needed to remember this. I stared at it for what seemed like a long while.
I could see ahead of me and there were two women coming in my direction. I was scared to talk to anyone. I didn't know where I was or where I was allowed to go. So, I tried to hide behind a tree, as not to be seen. As they approached my direction, I tried to get as close to the tree as possible and I went into it. I was totally excited about this! I said 'Oh, whoa, I always thought I could do this.' I watched as the two women passed, as if they couldn't even see me. I just stood in this tree for so long it seemed. I was just happy to be in it. I thought the colors of the inside of the tree looked just like the colors of which I was made. I heard a playful male voice ask me 'Are you gonna stay in the tree the whole time?' I kind of giggled and said 'Oh no, I didn't think I could go anywhere else.' The voice said 'This is your HOME and you can go anywhere you wish.' I said 'Really?' He said 'Yes!'
I started walking this path/street doing gymnastics. I loved gymnastics ever since I was little. I was doing them perfectly! I have never done anything perfectly. It seemed I had my eyes closed and just following someone doing all these gymnastics. I remember walking into what I would call an office or room. The view was so beautiful! It was Earth stunning as she is in all her beauty. The water was a deep Blue; it was incredible! There was a wall or window floor to ceiling. Just like the other material of which the other building was made. It could have even been the same building. I was so busy dancing and doing gymnastics, I didn't pay attention. The space around Earth was just like it is now, Black! It was the only time I saw anything dark up there. I was just staring out of this see-through wall onto Earth. I was thinking about everything I had been through up to that point in my life. I was reflecting on the horrible things that I had been through. I always said the same things in my mind over and over growing up: Why wouldn't God protect me from being abused? Didn't I love him enough, that he might help me like the people in the Bible? I would ask why he doesn't stick up for me. I didn't think anyone liked me or loved me in this world. Over and over in my mind I would ask things like this.
This time when I was thinking them to myself, like I had so many times before. I was getting answers back. It was a male's voice. His voice was soothing and calming. It was the perfect pitch and music to my ears. I was going over in my mind what I always had. 'Why won't God protect me?' I heard 'He will'. I said 'He will?!!' He said 'Yes.' With each answer, I could feel the weight of worry come off my spirit, much like the saying, 'the weight of the world on your shoulders'.
I asked, 'Why won't God stick up for me?' He told me the things I was dealing with were all temporary. I told him I didn't do all those things of which I was being accused. But, no one would believe me. He said 'I believe you.' I said 'You do?' I can't tell you how great it felt to have someone believe me. I was still staring out onto Earth. It was so close to where I was. I was in awe of the size and colors.
I went through the rest of my thoughts. I wish I were beautiful, I heard 'You are.' I said 'I am?!' He said 'Yes.' I said 'Oh really because when I saw myself in the light I looked the same.' He said 'That's not you.' I said 'Really?' I was thinking to myself that I've always wanted to be more beautiful than I thought I was. I thought about what he said for a while. I was happy to know that this wasn't the real me. I was just so happy someone thought I was beautiful. I was overflowing with joy with each response. Still all the while, someone was holding me.
I said 'I wish I could sing well.' He said 'You do.' I said 'really?!' He said 'Yes.' I said 'I wish I was perfect.' He said 'You are!' I said 'I am?!' He said 'Yes, you are.' Well, I thought I must have been doing something wrong to be abused. I thought it was because I was a bad kid. (I wasn't.) But, I said 'I didn't think I was perfect because I always got beat.' I wanted to be good all the time so no one was mad at me. And I seem to always mess up and I didn't want God to be mad at me.
He said, 'There is nothing you could do that could ever change the way God feels about you. He said 'God loves me.' I said 'He does?' He said 'Yes, He does.' I said, 'I wish I was special, like the people in the Bible.' He said, 'You are.' I said, 'Really, I am?' He said, 'Yes, you are.' I said, 'I wish God loved me like the people in the Bible.' He said, 'He does!' I said 'He does?' He said 'Yes HE does!' I can't tell you my feelings through all this. I wish I could download it and send it to everyone. Like every particle that is making up who you are is bursting with LOVE & Bliss. I said 'I just want to be with God, I just want to be with You!' He said 'You will!'
At this time, I turned around at the same time as I was saying 'Really I will?' There before me was the most BEAUTIFUL man I have ever seen in my whole life! The look on his face was pure LOVE and excitement. I have never ever had anyone look at me like this. His eyes were wide with excitement and overflowing with LOVE and JOY. The Bluest Blue I have seen in my life. He was young, tall, dark and the handsomest man alive. There is no living person to ever exist that could match the BEAUTY of Jesus Christ. He was perfect in every sense of the word. He ran to me and me to him. He embraced me and held me so close. I melted into him and was hooked to his side. We just got lost in each other's loving gaze for a long while, it seemed. So, I said to Jesus 'You mean I don't have to go to sleep forever?' He laughed and said 'No.' Jesus told me, 'I was going to live forever and I would never die'. He said, 'This place was my HOME and always had been and I would spend eternity there with them.'
I can't describe the feeling I felt knowing this information. (The Jehovah Witnesses say I won't go to Heaven, let alone be with God or Jesus. They say when you die you go into like an eternal sleep state. That your body is your soul and when your body dies your soul dies and you are in this sleep state until Jesus comes to wake you up. That's what they teach anyway.) He asked me what I would like to do. Stay there or go back to Earth? I said 'I didn't know what I was supposed to do there (Earth)'. He told me 'Love and have fun'. I said 'that's it?' I said, 'I do, I love everyone.' He said 'I know you do.' He was smiling at me, so kind and full of love. He seemed to say it like he was proud of me. I was thinking to myself, 'Well, no one likes me there.' He said 'Yes they do.' I said 'They do?' thinking well, they have a funny way of showing it. I said 'But, no one loves me.' He said, 'I Love you!' I said, 'You do?' He held me close, holding on to my hands in front of him close to his chest. He said 'Yes, I do.' We just stared into one another's eyes some more. Both of us full of love for one another. I could stare at him forever and never turn my gaze.
I asked, 'what was on Earth for me if I went back?' He told me he has like little presents for me strewn across this lifetime for me. He told me about all the animals that he had for me. He told me about how much they loved me. I said, 'Animals can love?' He said 'Yes of course they can!' He showed me my life in the future, if I were to go back. It played out on the see-through wall that was overlooking earth. I saw myself happy and laughing so much. I just wanted to be that happy, because I was so unhappy while I was on earth with the abuse and growing up being told that I was not going to heaven. I think my spirit was just crushed all the time. I didn't have a happy memory, not even one.
I wanted to experience what that girl was that I was watching in front of me. I saw myself get married and I was so happy to just be alive. I saw all the people I was going to save and bring to God. I just wanted everyone to feel the way I was feeling. The love was perfect and it was enough, you didn't want anything else. It was all I wanted and still want! After I saw how many people, I was going to help bring to God. I knew I wanted to come back, but I was still scared to come back. I wasn't in a good home and I was being abused daily.
I broke my gaze with Jesus and started to look out onto Earth. I wanted him to come with me. I thought he wouldn't come with me if I asked. The thought of him saying 'no' was overwhelming to me. I thought I wasn't good enough and thought he was too beautiful to want to come back with someone like me. I said 'If I go back I don't want to stay long.' He said 'okay.' I prepared myself to ask if he would please come with me. I thought there is no way he is going to come with me. But, I loved him so much already. I never wanted him to leave me, ever! I turned back and looked at him. He was still smiling at me the same as he had the whole time. His expression never changed and he never took his eyes off me during the whole experience I had. From the time, I first saw Him to when I didn't see Him anymore; He didn't take his eyes off me. I thought if He came back with me, no one would hurt me. Then I can prove myself to my stepmother I didn't do all the things of which she accused me.
He believes me and could stick up for me. That and He is the most beautiful man I have ever seen or will see again. I got brave and asked if he would please come with me? He answered right away and said 'Sure I'll go.' I ran to Him and He to me and I said 'YOU WILL?!' He was still smiling at me and wide-eyed with those magnificent deep Blue eyes. He held me close again with my hands in his and close to his chest. I was so happy I can't express it at all in words. We got lost in one another's gaze again: both just bursting with love. I was over the moon and overflowing with joy, love, excitement and a feeling of being in LOVE. I still am every time I think about it.
Then this man came into the room from a door behind where we were standing. He was also very beautiful with the same expression on his face as Jesus. He seemed to be super happy to see me and handed Jesus a scroll. There was a little podium next Jesus and he signed something. I looked at the man behind Jesus, and he was just smiling at me so big and loving. The man didn't stay long and left out of the same door he had entered. Jesus wanted me to go with Him somewhere and He wanted to show me a few things.
I walked with Him for what seemed like a very long while. The landscaping was so perfect and everything was in bloom. It was such a magical place beyond words. I remember walking on this path/street with Jesus and we came to a house, or part of one, anyway. I could see the side of the house had a body of water. Jesus said it was a reflection pond. I was eager to check it out and went ahead of Jesus to get a better look. I turned around to see where Jesus was and He was just watching me in all my excitement: eyes wide and full of Love for me, still smiling as big as can be.
I waited for Him to come closer to me and He told me 'This is your house.' I said 'Really, this is my house?' It was perfect and I loved it without even seeing it. We went into the house and I wanted to go right out to the reflection pond. I was thinking if I really wanted to go back or not. I loved it where I was and was thinking of not going back. Jesus just watched me, His expression never changing from those wide eyes and contagious smile. We sat at the pond for a while and gazed at one another with love and affection. I just couldn't believe the house was mine; it was perfect. Jesus had something else to show me before we left to come back to Earth. We left and walked for a little while hand in hand. I am not sure where we went because I was just staring at Jesus the whole time.
I remember Jesus being excited to show me something. I was eager to see what it was. I mean, He just gave me a house. No one ever gave me anything except my Grandma. Jesus opened a door. When I walked in, there was a great multitude of people whose number I couldn't count. They were all smiling at me like Jesus and the man in the office with the scroll. He said 'All these people love you.' I said, 'they do?!' Everyone was glowing with the colors of heaven. They were full of love and light and super excited to see me. They all told me telepathically they loved me and were proud of me. I wanted to stay and visit with all of them. I loved every single one. even though I didn't know a number of how many. I said to Jesus 'I wish I hadn't spent so much time in the tree, I could maybe have visited with them.' I felt bad for not talking to those two women; knowing now how they all felt about me. Jesus started laughing at about the tree comment. Everyone thought it was funny and laughed. It was so magical and I will never forget it! We had to leave and go back to earth. We all said our goodbyes. Jesus and I left all the people.
Jesus had to do something before we set off together to come back. He said 'It might be a little strange or weird.' I said, 'Okay.' The only way to describe this is like He got into me. I could see and feel him in me. It was as if I could see through his eyes and mine at the same time. After that, we left HOME behind and set off back to earth.
I remember it was so fast and yet I knew we traveled a great distance. I saw a flash of light from behind me and WHOOSH we were back in space. I felt like I was ever expanding and knew where everything was, how far the planets were from me. There seem to be no boundary that I could sense or feel. I was stopped in space above Earth. I wanted to get one last look around before I had to come back to this dirty world and this fleshly body. It felt like I was being held in someone's arms. From the moment I put my hand in the light, I was hugged and held. I was facing forward sitting almost Indian style with my hands folded in my lap. I realized I wasn't breathing but I was still alive. Jesus told me that 'the body needed to breathe, not YOU'. Then I noticed a breeze going right through me. It was so pleasant I wanted to remember it always.
I live in Florida so it's always too hot for me. I have a skin problem that makes it uncomfortable to be hot. The breeze was a perfect temperature for me. I looked at the water of Earth and wanted to see the water. Then WHOOSH just like that, we were flying so fast, it was awesome. I was smiling like I have never before. Like a roller-coaster ride, but a million times better. There was no fear of heights or falling. It was a ride I will never forget. We raced down to the water and splash: the water was parting like the red sea on a much smaller scale. I wasn't getting wet and I was in a sphere. I thought 'oh, what a shame I am not getting wet'. I liked the feeling of water on my skin. Jesus said 'Your body gets wet not you.' I was a little bummed but nothing major. I skimmed across the top of the water and laughed as we flew away back to the hospital.
I took one last look around before going back in this body. I thought 'e-w-w-w it's heavy and dirty, hot and sweaty'. I didn't have any attachment to it at all. I was grossed out by it, to be honest. I said 'Where do I go in?' meaning my body and right then I went right in very easily. I entered at the bottom of the sternum area. It was so weird being in the body. Felt more like a hollow shell on the inside and dense on the outside. I didn't know what to do when I re-entered this fleshly body. I bounced around on the inside for a few seconds: down the legs, back up the legs, down the arms, and back up the arms. I started to hear the people trying to wake me up. I couldn't talk or reconnect to this body. Jesus said 'it will take just a second to reconnect with your body.'
I thought, 'Okay, I will just stay in my head until I could answer.' Finally, I said, 'Does anyone have a breath mint?' They told me I couldn't have anything not even water. Ice chips were the only thing I could have. I thought my breath was pretty bad. I went through every mint, gum and mouthwash I could remember. They were pretty annoyed with me. I just didn't want to have bad breath and answer questions with them in my face. I got taken to my hospital room where my father was waiting for me. I was looking around for Jesus and I didn't see him. I thought for sure he would walk right through the door. I never saw him again and I am still looking. Until we meet again I suppose, I will wait forever to see him again. It took me almost a year to learn how to walk again. My life changed after this happened. I am forever changed by the love Jesus showed me.
Date NDE Occurred: 'January 1, 1995'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Surgery-related. While under general anesthesia 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening'
I was in an accident and was severely injured.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes When I left this fleshly body I just heard some surgical instruments being used. It was super deafening and very high-pitched. When I came back and re-entered this fleshly body I heard the surgical staff talking to me, trying to get me to awaken.
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Pretty much the whole experience was that way from the time I left this body, to the time I re-entered this body. This was the highest level of possible consciousness I have ever had in my entire life before or since. Pretty much, the whole time, I was out of this fleshly body. From the time I popped out to the time I re-entered.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no sense of time, really.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. One couldn't compare the two at all. I was doing more than seeing with earthly eyes. I was seeing it and feeling with my soul in all its perfection. The colors are so much brighter and full of light and more colors in the spectrum than in this fleshly body. As soon as I could see out of these earthly eyes, it was all so different. Colors were more muted and the color spectrum went back to what we are used to on earth.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Just like with the last question I answered. One couldn't compare the two at all. I was doing more than hearing with my earthly ears. I was hearing it and feeling it with my soul in all its perfection. In this fleshly body, I can't hear well in one ear and I get infections easily. When I re-entered this fleshly body I could hear Jesus still talking to me. But, it was with my soul not my earthly ears.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Jesus = My beloved = My first LOVE
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I was in the void; I guess you could call it. It was blacker than the blackest I have ever seen. I was scared of the dark thinking something was going to get me. I was scared of the dark on earth. As soon as I expressed my fear of the dark and asked where was the light?: I see a pin- prick of light and WHOOSH it was coming at me so fast I like jumped out of the way. I thought I was going to be hit. I put my hand in it, it felt so amazing, and it loved me. It seemed to me to be alive, lavished me with affection, and held me close and tight. I never wanted to leave from it. I danced in it and spun around over and over. I wanted to remember it forever: that feeling of perfect love!
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was like a boundary or border of clouds. I watched myself go through these clouds as if I wasn't in control of anything. I came to a world of LIGHTS! There was no darkness at ALL! Everything was like clear gold and sparkly. The Colors were so magnificent. I wanted to look at the flowers and WHOOSH there they were BOOM right in front of me like I was looking at them through a microscope. I walked a path or street that was like clear gold. Everything was so perfect in every sense of the way. The landscaping was pristine!! Everything was in bloom and alive with light. There were no dead leaves or twigs on any of the plants, trees and flowers.
There was no source of light anywhere. Everything was super bright and shining light from within and without. I walked along this path or street and I came to a fork in the road and a huge building. The building was so amazing in its design. It appeared to be in the ground and apart from the ground. There were 12 crystal-like foundations (it's the only thing with which I can liken it.) There were names written on them in different colors. I said, 'oh I need to remember this'. I studied it for a long time. Then I saw there were two women walking closer to me. I was scared to talk to anyone. So, I ran to hide behind the tree. To my surprise, I went into the tree. I thought, 'whoa, I always thought I could do this'. I saw the women pass by me and they didn't even see me. I stayed in the tree for so-o-o-o long. I was so happy to just stay there. After what seemed like a super long time, I heard someone say to me 'Are you going stay in the tree the whole time?' I felt silly, laughed a little, and said, 'oh, I didn't know I could go anywhere'. The male voice said to me it was my HOME I could go anywhere I wanted.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt perfect Love, bliss, ecstasy, elation, passion and excitement of being IN LOVE. Acceptance.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I saw my life play out before me. I also saw my future played out before me.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Jehovah's Witness I always questioned things with the religion. I had to keep them to myself because it would have been trouble for me if I didn't. I felt they were limiting people's relationship with Jesus and God. Telling people only a small number of people go to heaven. Letting people think and feel they weren't good enough to go to heaven. I didn't understand why I couldn't go to heaven. Didn't I love them too? What was wrong with my love? So, I struggled with this from a tender young age. I was afraid and made to live in fear of messing up that God would be mad at me and kill me. That God didn't love me I wasn't good enough. Not special enough to go be with him in Heaven.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes .
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated I am not affiliated with any religion or attend any church. But, I love God and everything about him! I live by the teachings of Jesus Christ and love all!
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Well, that Jehovah Witnesses believe only 144,000 people go to Heaven and the rest stay on earth. Well, there was a great multitude of people much greater than 144,000
To them I could never be good enough to go to Heaven let alone be with Jesus. Yet, I did and I was and no one can ever take that from me. The Jehovah Witnesses make God out to be mean. And Jesus painted another picture. He said there was nothing I could do to ever change the way they feel about me. I said I didn't want to mess up and make God mad at me. With the Jehovah Witnesses you live in fear of messing up. But, Jesus made it perfectly clear there was nothing I could do to change their love for me! The Jehovah Witnesses believe they are the only true religion. Which I was told by Jesus that wasn't true. Those are the main reasons for me personally.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I loved everything and everyone when I came back. Even if they didn't like me, I still cared for them. Trees, animals and everything living I took another look at. They are living and loving us and we don't even realize it. I no longer go to church or in any organized religion. It brought me closer to Jesus whom I didn't really know before (personally).
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I saw two white, light beings that greeted me at the lights. They were more than bodies or detailed in anyway. I saw two women walking on a street/path. They were young, beautiful, and wearing bright white dresses. The dresses were simple, almost looked like white wool or something. They wore a belt, or tie, around their waists. I saw a very handsome man with a scroll and he smiled at me with such love and excitement.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Yes I was with Jesus and his authority speaks for itself. That was enough for me to know.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Love that is it!
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes Yes Jesus told me I could never die. I had always been and I will always be. I would live with God and him forever.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Jesus told me it was only temporary
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No No just to Love
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life Slight changes in my life. I left that religion and never looked back. I won't allow myself to be limited in soul development because of someone else's interpretation of what I already know to be true. I don't judge anyone for any reason at all. I was told to LOVE and that is what I am going to do.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's very difficult to express in words because the experience was more than words could ever describe. It's something there are no words for. You don't have a database in your mind to refer. You can't download the feelings of the experience. No words could touch the experience I had.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have always had special gifts that I had to keep quiet due to religious persecution and public shunning. I kept it to myself for over 20 years. Now, I do Tarot Card readings and can see things before they happen. I am still trying to figure out what these gifts are. But, after the experience, I would say, I wasn't afraid to use my gift.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? There were some personal things Jesus and I talked about that involved my life. The way He loves me and looks at me make me melt. I think the whole experience was meaningful and significant to me. I think it would be too hard to pick a few that stand out more. When the experience is made to be so personal and touching to you personally, it is all meaningful. When Jesus told me I was going to be with God forever and that he loved me. I am forever changed by his love for me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have told a handful of friends and I have told my husband and Mother. My husband thinks it's amazing and it's taught him a lot. I told a few friends and some believe me and others don't believe me. They love me enough to hear it out and talk about it. Even though they don't believe in God or much of anything like that. When I told my Mother, it was hard because she is still on the old belief systems that I let go of so long ago. It's too much for her to get her mind around and she doesn't believe me in one breath and the next she is supportive. So, people are all over the spectrum.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was more real than this life or anything I've ever experienced.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It's more real and vivid than anything else I have ever experienced. No one can take that away from me.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I can't wait to go HOME! There is a place for everyone and that LOVE doesn't just happen to me, it happens to all of us. It's so incredible I want everyone to know Him and know that LOVE!