After I lost consciousness due to blood loss in surgery, I felt warm and relaxed. More comfortable than I have ever been. I felt like I belonged. I saw a white glowing light surrounding me and felt as if I were floating. I was aware of other beings or souls surrounding me. I saw no bodies, nor did I feel like I had one myself, but I knew I was surrounded by familiar souls. There wasn't one in particular that I felt like I could name, like someone from my past, but it was a general familiarity and belonging. I heard whispering but I couldn't make out the words or the language. I was in no pain and felt nothing but love and comfort. This floating and comfortable feeling lasted for what seemed like a great amount of time until I began to hear words I could understand. At this point, the only way I can describe the feeling was being forced back into my body. The calming glowing light went away and then there was the harsh surgical lamps, and then pain. An overwhelming pain. Every time I share this experience with anyone which is not often, the thing that is the most emotional to me is the anger and frustration of being ‘put back in my body.’ I was not thankful for being alive, even though I had just given birth. I was angry and it was painful. I feel like that comfort and love was ripped from me and I felt like I belonged there.
Date NDE Occurred: 05/01/09
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth. Drug or medication overdose. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
Loss of over three liters of blood after a cervical artery tear during childbirth due to an overdose of medicine.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I felt that I was aware of a group consciousness rather than just my own.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the experience when I was trying to understand what I was listening to and the feeling of love and comfort I felt the most aware,
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time lost all meaning. It felt like it could have been a second or a lifetime.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't recall seeing much more than the glowing light. It was a full sensory experience.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I felt like I could hear without there being any sound. It was like a group consciousness where I could hear everyone's thoughts, but it was like a language I had forgotten. It sounded familiar, but I was straining to remember what the words meant.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain There was definitely a glowing light, but I couldn't say for certain there was a tunnel.
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Glowing, warm white light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place It was glowing with light. It seemed endless, but I was confused and maybe too overwhelmed to look around.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love, comfort, calm, belonging, and joy.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I felt like I was being pushed back into my body. I didn't hear it, but I feel like someone was telling me to go back to be with my baby that it wasn't my time yet.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other faiths- New age
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Slightly important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify There were no visible bodies, but there were lots of voices.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I felt like I had been to that place before.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes A definite unity and oneness.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists┬
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? Unknown
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes It felt like we are all souls and our bodies are shells and that we go back to this nothingness and endless place until it is our time again. There was a distinct familiarity like I had been there hundreds of times.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Life goes on whether you are in your body or not. There is no need to fear death. It is a comfortable, welcoming place.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It has been over four years and I have only shared my experience with two people. It is very difficult to put into words and I become very emotional recalling the experience.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Not in its entirety. I tend to get emotional about it and people look at me as if I am ‘crazy’ or look at me in disbelief. I have shared with one other person who had a near death experience as a child and described it in much the same manner.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard other accounts of near death experiences, but I wasn't sure that I believed. Having heard previously, it helped me come to terms with what happened to me.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real Having a newborn and getting no sleep, it took several months to a year to process what occurred with me.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Having examined my experience and read about similar experiences, I can say with certainty that what I experienced was real.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
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