Experience Description

I was about twelve or thirteen. My father had been violently assaulting (sexual, physical torture, verbal sadism, etc.) me since I was six. I had told him I was pregnant by him about one or two weeks earlier, and that I was going to the police or any authorities who would listen (damn few in the early 1970's). Tensions rose. One Saturday morning, probably near noon, I was picking up things in the living room. I had to slip past him in a narrow area to bring my things upstairs. He punched me in the face because I 'looked at him wrong' then grabbed me by the throat and slammed me backwards and down onto the wooden stairs. He kept pounding my head backward and twisting his hands. He used to wring chicken necks like that.

At this time in my life, I was extremely Christian. The sunlight faded, I felt I was falling or being pulled gently backward, away from the violence, and down a deep, dark hole. I fell, and he faded away. The light came back abruptly, and I stood on a dirt lane in a green tunnel of trees, about early summer and early morning. (Earth time was mid-autumn.) Mist clung to the tree tops, and I saw it curling among the tree trunks. I was confused, because what I knew of near death, I was supposed to float up, look at my body, hear the conversations, then go off, meet dead relatives I had never seen before, and be taken to Jesus Christ. And this did not fit my preconceived notions. Nor did it look or feel particularly like hell, hence my confusion. But I went along anyway. I walked down the lane, thinking that God helps those who help themselves, and I would find Jesus in the bright meadow at the end of the lane. I found a meadow, but it was full of morning mist, still rising.

Out of this mist I could just see a slightly dirty, used, medieval-style white pavilion. A man stepped out, saw me, and ducked back in, saying that I was here. He wore a tunic, hose, boots and cloak, with old Celtic or Viking style jewelry. His black hair was below shoulder length and held back in a sort of half-ponytail. I went in and found another dressed similarly. The first was in greens, blues and browns. The one inside was more in reds. His jewelry was heavier, of the same style, and gold. He also wore some sort of gold band holding his black hair back. There was a table, two or three chairs, and some chests in the tent. He was looking at papers on the table. I asked him who he was, and he said that he was my father. I disagreed, violently, because of who was killing me 'down below.' He explained that he was my eternal father (the word is translated -- because I knew he wasn't speaking English, though I could understand him -- to more parent than gender-specific).

I calmed down some and he offered my something to drink while he looked at the papers. I refused, saying that the gaudy cup looked like a movie prop or a fairy cup. He looked at me sharply, said I was too clear sighted for my own good, and gave me his own cup. I drank, it tasted like juice or the most delicious water on a hot day. I asked if I had to be Christian to get into heaven, and he said no. So long as I lived an ethical and moral life, believed in a creative force stronger and with kindly intent, and tried to help others, I would be fine. He also said that he would help me as much as possible, but he didn't know what he could do about the current situation. I was fine with that, we talked a little more, and then he put me back in my body. Just like that. Between one breath or blink and the next, there I was. My father screamed something about my eyes being weird, and fled. He didn't come back for nearly two weeks, and I don't know where he went. I picked myself up off the stairs and continued up. I was dizzy, had a pounding headache, and spit blood for a few days. But overall was an odd sense of peace.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1975 or 1976

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Criminal attack Life threatening event, but not clinical death Attempted murder: strangulation, attempted neck break, smashing back of skull into uncarpeted wooden stairs.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain My body was the same as on earth.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? High -- VERY alert.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Standard noises (see experience).

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes See experience.

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Sort of.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm See experience.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Confusion, acceptance, fear, joy.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes No longer Christian.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Heightened telepathy, clairvoyance, foreknowledge.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Talking to the man in the tent. Worst part was what put me there.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Disbelief to acceptance, somewhat influenced.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I would have to think about it for more details.