At that time in my life, I had moved in with my friend and her dad because I could not afford rent. I remember it was a morning when she had not spent the night there. I heard a slight knock at my door and then heard it open. I knew it was her dad and was embarrassed because I was exposed. I had a thong on, was lying on my side facing away from the door with the covers off my backside. I didn't move or let him know I was awake because that was embarrassing. I just wanted him to politely close the door and pretend he didn't see anything. I heard the door close and was relieved. I closed my eyes. Then I heard rummaging in my room; my tiny room hardly big enough for my twin size bed. I became frightened and froze with fear for a few moments. Finally, mustering up the courage to look, I turned. I don't remember anything else.
My NDE was confusing to me. I didn't understand what was happening because I had no idea why I was there. I was in space, in darkness, a void, and then came upon a suspended structure. It almost resembled half of a house, but with many more angles on the outside. I glided up the stairs, which began underneath the suspension in space up into a hallway. This place seemed little, yet large. I was waiting with someone but I couldn't see them. I asked without speaking what we were doing there. The presence said it was time for my review. I immediately felt ashamed because I knew I hadn't done my best.
I made clear I wasn't ready, but the door still opened. I saw a desk and books or scrolls, and a huge screen. The screen turned bright, so bright my earthly eyes would not be able to stand it. I knew I didn't have to be ashamed. It was a learning experience, but all of a sudden, I heard a loud bang and woke up.
I was confused. I woke up thinking I had just died, but didn't know how I would've died or why. Then I got up to get out of bed and realized my panties were half off, my breasts were exposed and there were panties hanging from the bedpost at the head of my bed. I still didn't consider that I was murdered at that point. I left for the day and when I came back her dad yelled at me and told me I was not welcome in his home. I cannot say for absolute certain, but I believe I was strangled with my own underwear that he found in my room.
Date NDE Occurred: Summer 2010
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Criminal attack. Other: No one confirmed my death, no cops were called.
I was murdered by my friend's dad.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal During the time frame of going up the stairs to the loud bang, everything felt more real.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Everything felt more real.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I was just aware of the present. It seemed so long yet so quick, but silent.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I saw no beings, just felt presences and my eyes could withstand the light.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard through thought and the bang sounded incredibly loud, vivid, and surging with energy.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The screen.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Its dimensions would make no sense in our earthly world, and it was suspended in mid space. I was aware this was just a place of review and not heaven.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt confusion to curiosity to shamed to peace and understanding and love.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I feel like I wasn't ready to be 'judged' so I said I wasn't ready.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths Raised Catholic, became Born Again Christian at 15, but slowly allowed my flesh to rule again, began smoking Marijuana and dabbling in Buddhism. I remember when I would be high all the time I would always have someone tell me, through no words, to remember The Lord. I feel as though they were my Angels.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I was swaying from Christianity to Buddhism, but now I am a full believer in Christ.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian I follow Christ, the universal "religion" is Love and knowing Christ.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I didn't think we would go to a room to be judged or reviewed.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Christ is for certain the Truth. I also value relationships more and do not agree with self-gain. God provides. I believe we all should and can be in constant communion with God.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Through thoughts a counselor told me it was time for my review and through feelings I was told it was a learning experience.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Jesus was comforting me as I was about to watch my review but was sent back instead.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain I cannot say I was focusing on that when it happened, but am fully aware of everyone and everything being connected even throughout the centuries to today. There is no "time" and everything vibrates to the frequency of love.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Jesus was comforting me.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Because of becoming aware that my review was a learning experience, I know that we are on Earth to grow and to learn Love. Love affects everyone, everything and heals Everything!
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Uncertain I know there absolutely is, but I'm not sure at what point in my experience would suggest that. If I had went through with the review I'm not sure where I would've gone. I do know there is heaven because I've visited it afterward without dying. Other than
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Learn and grow spiritually. Love, forgive, live selflessly and see your life overflow with love. Help one another and be compassionate. We are all spirits, all the same.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes The hardships we encounter are designed to help us grow spiritually and understand others and help them to grow.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love is what fuels our spirits. Love is life's vibration, the frequency to which we are all attuned to and connected with. Love understands and love heals. Love is freedom. We are all loved by the source, the creator and we all are beings of love.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life For months after the experience, I felt like each day was a day I had already lived. I was so confused by it and wondered what I was to do with the information. I began having Generalized Anxiety Disorder to the point where I eventually did not leave my dad's girlfriends house. I did move after being kicked out. I heard demons trying to make me feel any negative emotions by laughing at me. I felt like I could hear people's thoughts. All of this calmed down after a nightlong conversation with God. Now I still experience reliving days a few times a month. I do not smoke anything or consume any alcohol. I even had an all-natural childbirth. I have a better relationship with my mom and I forgive so easily. I still feel spiritually going, though.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I lost so many people I thought were my friends. They are still so consumed by the flesh. However, I have a better family relationship and truer friends.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I was confused about it for a while.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events at time
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have a sense of dΘjα vu and dΘjα sense. Knowing you can literally tune your conscience to the same wave link as another's. I've been in it to dance with others in I'm assuming Heaven when I've slept. I was with men and women; we walked through a forest, dancing occasionally while Jesus played a banjo like instrument. We came upon an ocean and danced on the beach. Jesus' eyes were beautiful and green. A picture washed up from the ocean. It was a picture like an x-ray of the human body but it had the face of a lion.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Knowing that Christ is merciful and forgiving enough to comfort you during your review gives me leave and gratitude.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I read '23 minutes in Hell' and '90 minutes in Heaven'.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real I was unsure when I woke up. I was confused when I died and confused when I woke up about my circumstances.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Everything all adds up, including the incidences after.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No