It was the very next morning of my returning back home after giving birth to a prematurely born child girl by cesarean section. The doctor released me earlier because I was very depressed. I have had a car accident a month before. We believed the premature birth of my daughter was a result of the injuries of the car accident. It was between 10:00 and 11:00 a.m. I was laying down on the couch watching TV. During the commercials, all of a sudden I felt a horrible pain on my chest like a heavy, oppressive, weight was put on me causing severe pain on my chest, preventing my breathing -- and then I was gone. Then, I felt I was in a space of which color I cannot describe. I was conscious of some kind of peaceful, joyful background music.
Date NDE Occurred: June 22, 1980
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
I am not sure how to qualify it. I know that during the cesarean surgery the anesthesia was not working optimally. I was in a lot of pain and my heart stopped a couple of times, not for long though, according to the report from the doctors. However, when I was back home, supposedly any threat to my life was not present, and I had the experience at home.
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I know it was me but I could not see my body as I knew it to be.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I felt very alert and conscious. But I could not see my body. I knew it was me, but I could not see me in this space. I only felt it was me. But I could hear, think, and feel better and clearer than I ever had.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I knew I was in a different place other than Earth. I did not see things; I just vaguely perceived other beings around me. I had a strong sensation of no time. It did not matter! I knew I was not conscious of time at all. It wasn't until I came back that I compared that sensation versus my Earthly concern about time.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. At the beginning of the experience I heard like an -- implosion-explosion -- I am not sure. Afterwards, when I was in this space, there was some kind of background music. It was very interesting because it was all over but I could not identify the source of it. It was not loud or anything like that. It was absolutely beautiful, indescribable.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I think that my whole experience was in this space, tunnel, or enclosure, whatever you want to call it. Actually, I never saw The Brilliant Light that most people have described.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I knew there were other beings all over. I could not see them clearly. After a few moments, I started to distinguish my father-in-law and my youngest brother. They had died the year before, two weeks apart. They were approaching me, like if they were floating towards me instead of walking. I was somewhat surprise to see them. I wondered what they were doing there. They did not say anything. My father-in-law just extended his right hand towards me, and when my hand was almost touching his, I heard a voice that told me in an imperative tone: 'If you touch him you will certainly die, remember your son Irving, he needs you. You need to go back to be there for him.' I did not like to hear that. I was feeling so well, that I did not want to go back. It was so beautiful, and I felt so much at peace! It was like going back to my real home.
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt joyful, the happiest and fullest sense of well-being. It was as if my interior, whole being was exhilarating with peace, harmony, and wholeness. I did not remember a thing about my life on earth. It was until I saw my father-in-law and my youngest brother walking towards me that I started feeling some kind of confusion, without really caring to know.
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I knew without knowing how I knew, that we all are loving, peaceful beings. That we belong to another place and not to planet Earth or this life. I felt that there is another life which is the true life we all are supposed to have.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I did not like it at all. I took my time per se, to go back. However, the voice I heard was so authoritative; that it seems to me I could not refuse! Besides, it was only after He told me what he did, that I remembered about having a son who I needed to care for. When I fully remembered my son, there I was: back!
God, Spiritual and Religion:
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I learned not to be afraid of dying anymore. Actually, I was probably more scared at the beginning after my experience, not of dying but of not being able to describe what had happened to me, and be considered a mad woman. After I reflected on my experience, I felt very content with the idea of dying; the only thing I did not look forward to was to experience a lot of pain before the actual passing to the other side.
I stopped going to church. I believed that most of the things the church teaches are inaccurate and in some instances even wrong. I do not believe in portraying a picture of God as an angry, punishing being. I also know that there is a reason for all that happens. Often I do not understand the reason, but I know that I do not need to understand it. I just need to learn to accept it. It is hard sometimes. It does not mean that I do not suffer anymore. Actually, I often feel the pain of others like if it were mine. It is as if I became overly sensitive. On the other hand, it is easier for me to explain interior things to people. I can even describe their feelings better than they do. It is amazing!
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It happened so fast in earth time, but it could take at least half an hour to describe it! It happened while my sister and I were watching TV. There was a soap opera on. During the commercial break, she went to the store downstairs to buy pop. I remember there was a commercial about a detergent when the experience started. When I got back, the same commercial was still on, and my sister came back a few minutes after. She found a different sister than who she left.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No Actually, I was very perceptive before the car accident. I told my husband that day to have extra caution because we had a propensity to have an accident today. It was on Mother's Day. I also had dreams while pregnant of my baby girl, that it was going to be a girl, and that she was going to die almost immediately after the birth. After the experience, I tried to deny the possibility of me being too perceptive. I was afraid that anything I would say or dream would come true! I almost did not want to dream anymore.
It has been until recently that I have regained some of that perceptiveness back. It is so interesting because I see people differently. It is hard at the same time because I feel like an ill-adapted person to this world. I pay attention to things that most people do not, and I do not pay attention to what others pay attention. It seems that I have memory problems but it is not that. I do not know how to explain it!
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes In most cases people are doubtful. Only my children and very few others believe it! I have not met with many people who had experienced it. The only one I know of cannot tell much detail either. He seems to lack the words to describe it. The only thing that he can say clearly is that he saw The Light.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I am not sure if this experience can be counted as an NDE. It was of a short duration, and I did not see The Light. However, I know it was the prelude of it. Nevertheless, it changed my life for the better. I thank God for having it.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I would like to know if there are others who have been in these spaces without seeing The Light.