I used to be addicted to morphine, codeine, and painkillers like that and overdosed on morphine and codeine when I was eighteen. My friends couldn't take me to a hospital, because they would need to report the overdose to the police. I was in the bathroom when I died, sitting on the closet. I pulled the rig out and waited for the rush to come but I felt very sick and there was a terrible pain in my heart and I figured I couldn't breathe. I remember I was thinking they say how a 'golden shot is the ultimate hit', 'best way to die' etc., etc., but that was just bullshit. Suddenly I blacked out. I woke up some time later; I thought I was sleeping on the floor for a long time. Then I realized, something had changed. This wasn't the 'world' (or should I say reality?) I was in before I overdosed. I stood up and saw my dead body lying on the floor. I thought, 'F*#$ I'm dead.' I got very angry, I was angry with myself. I remember telling myself, 'You killed yourself at last you stupid fool,' like dying is a very normal, ordinary thing. While I was watching myself, I saw my friends came into bathroom. I saw them slap my face, trying to find my vein to administer Naloxone. I realized there were lights coming from my dead body. Suddenly I felt very happy, like I was never before. The light, coming from my body started to getting brighter.
Slowly the light covered everywhere, I couldn't see anything. There was just this light of perfection and the happiness myself. It's hard to tell this, but I was connected to this light somehow. We became one perfect being. We didn't talk to each other but I understand what they said and I knew they understood me. I thought we were like God, we were so perfect. I remember telling myself how I'm stupid because of all those drugs I shoot just to be happy, feel myself okay. And then they/he said that I'd have to go back, but I tell them/him I don't want to. They/he said, 'We will meet again someday.'.
I woke up next day, I was in my friend's bed. I thought it was a dream but it wasn't like dream. It was like a memory from the past, a wonderful journey, the happiest trip I've ever done. They told me after I recovered, my skin got bluish and I couldn't breathe and my heart stopped for about four to six minutes.
Date NDE Occurred: don't remember
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes OD Other I'm not sure, I didn't/couldn't go to hospital because they report the overdoses to police but I couldn't breath and my heart stopped, not sure maybe 4-5 minutes. I was overdosed on codeine and morphine.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was connected with something, one perfect being, we talked to each other without using any words.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When that sweet light covered me I was HIGHLY ALERT.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning The time was different I guess but can't explain.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? Can't describe.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? No sounds, or can't remember.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I meet 'something'.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was coming out from my dead body, and then it started getting brighter.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Not sure, after the light covered me, I couldnt see anything cause I didnt have to..
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? A little anger at first then happiness.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal --
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Liberal --
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes All of my questions, I wanted to be answered before my death were answered. Why are we here in this universe? Are there other beings in this galaxy? Is death an end? Sort of things like these.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Never told anybody, they don't believe me.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain It's the feeling, this can't be described with words. It was an invisible connection between me and something else, something lovely, something warm, something very, very intense.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? After I was lost in the light and couldn't see anything and I realized I didn't have to see or touch or taste or smell. Just being, connected with, this wonderful light of enlightenment felt so good.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No They don't believe me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. Well morphine causes very realistic dreams (like day dreaming, very alert dreams) but this wasn't one of those.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Morphine and codeine.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I'm not afraid of dying anymore because I know death isn't the end, far from it. It's another beginning. 'Life never ends', this is what I've learned from my NDE.