I am not sure where to start. It was December 3, 2007; my husband and son were just starting to get involved in the Christmas holiday. I had been tired and not eating very well the past two or three days but I thought it was because I was busy. I decided to go upstairs and relax but to my amazement, I got sick to my stomach. I remember a dull but painful pain in my upper back. I was very short of breath. My husband offered to take me to the hospital but somehow (I'm not sure how) but deep down I knew I would not make it there.
He sent my thirty-three year old son up to stay with me because I asked my husband to call 911. The pressure got worse I couldn't breathe and I knew the end was near. The last thing I remember without any help is being on my knees and screaming for help. At one point I was awake enough to pull the respirator out of my mouth, then darkness, time went by very fast. My husband said that at that time, a doctor told him to get me out of that hospital or I would die. They (my family) had me transferred to a different hospital. That is when they put me in a coma. I am not sure when my NDE took place, but I did flat-line seven times I was told this by the staff and the doctors that helped me - they now call me the miracle woman.
My experience was this.
First it must have been dark I was not in my body but rather a spirit form - I didn't walk but floated or flew. The first think I remember is seeing an old country store with a wood porch. There were young children sitting around, to them it was cold they were wearing winter clothes. As I looked closer I thought I recognized them as my uncles who are no longer with us - but it was odd that they were young children, maybe the age of nine. They were looking at an old two-wheeler bike that they seemed very excited about. They didn't know who I was, I could tell by the look on their faces. There were a total of three or four children there. I saw that their pants were getting wet and I told them, 'Ummm, grandma is going to be so mad at you.' Then they looked at me for the first time.
At that point, my grandmother's voice and a vision of her face much younger than I remember came and said, 'Roxanne, come to my house and we can make bread.' This gave me great comfort (my grandmother was famous for her homemade bread at least in our family, not to mention her home). I remember being at her house for a while, there were young children coming in and out. I think they were my uncles who have passed on. It was a feeling of being in another time. I kept waiting for the smell of homemade bread and coffee, but instead we sat at her table and she spoke. She had no regrets as a mother. The only regret she said she had was that she had never told the children how proud she was of all of them and she wished she could tell them that one thing.
This is where and when things changed. I know I was somewhere and very little light. Then in front of me, I saw blue clouds, bluer than any blue you can imagine, with brilliant white clouds fluffy white, whiter than you have ever seen. While looking at this I saw gold I am not sure if it was a table a road or a fence or altar. As I got closer, I saw a figure. At first, I did not know who it was so I got even closer. I saw Jesus standing before me. I couldn't believe this was true until he moved. He was brilliant, love radiated from him and he knew who I was and everything about me. He was perfect (for lack of a better word) his skin, his hair, his eyes; they were like nothing I have seen before or since. His robe was white and blue all on piece but yet blended into one garment. His gaze was of acceptance, recognition, and love. His arms reached out to me and his hands were bidding me to come closer. In eagerness, I ran to him.
Once I approached him, we hugged but not like a human hug. There were no bones - it was like his spirit went into me and mine into him and I was at total peace. Then I saw myself as a child about three or four naked squatting on this platform it was white - these giant angel wings closed around me. When they closed, there was a small amount of blood near the base of the wing - I felt safe and warm. I came back knowing that Jesus loves us all no matter what. And he is waiting to welcome us. He is with us always in sprit. I have never been a bad person but now I want to be even a better person. This experience has changed me and my attitude toward life. The seven times I flat-lined happened within two and a half days.
Date NDE Occurred: 12-03-07
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes IllnessSurgery-relatedHeart attack The doctors call it a heart attack...but there was no damage to the heart...my entire body shut down...and I was put in a comma for 3 weeks... 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
I had a heart attack in my home. At which point, I flat lined there and then six other times after that. All my body functions stopped working, liver, kidneys, and my sugar went up to 666. I was in a comma for three weeks.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the time I spent with Jesus and the wings and blood.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
The first part went fast. The second went slower and the end was the fastest. This all happened while I was in a coma for three weeks - to me it seemed like seconds.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was different, colors were brighter and clearer, field of vision was somewhat restricted. Everything looked solid but not to touch. The first vision was almost back and white or a bronze color to it, not much color. But as the vision continued on the colors became brighter and brighter.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. When I did hear it was only my grandmother's voice, clear. The children were talking but I don't remember what it was about, I think it was the old bike. And I did not hear Jesus, it was telepathic.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I don't know how I got from my grandmother's house to the heavens. But I know behind me it was dark and forward was light but no tunnel or enclosure.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw my uncles two or three of them. They just acknowledged me. My grandmother comforted me and took me to her home. We had a short talk about her one regret. I saw Jesus. He communicated not only great love for me, but that somehow now I understood how he could also love everyone with a great love, that his presence is everywhere and in everything.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Sky, light, something gold and light shimmering off of Jesus' hair and eyes, a type of light from his garments and skin.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm THE PAST EVEN BEFORE MY TIME,HEAVEN..WHEN I SAW MY GRANDMOTHER IT WAS ALMOST NORMAL...EVEN THOUGH SHE HAS BEEN GONE FOR MANY YEARS..
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt calm, peaceful, content, excited, loved, comforted, and secure.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I learned that only God knows why we do what we do and for the reasons we do them therefore he is the only judge.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain There was something gold behind Jesus, and I was curious to know what it was. Also when I was put on the platform and the wings closed I didn't know where I was going.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate none practicing Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I was taught and raised Catholic. So I was taught that someday we would see God and that he loved us, but now I know it to be so, because I felt it and saw it.
What is your religion now? Moderate Old Catholic Church...
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I was taught and raised Catholic. So I was taught that someday we would see God and that he loved us, but now I know it to be so, because I felt it and saw it.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes That we can love everyone, that we should forgive everyone, and that only God should be the judge because he knows why we do the things we do in our hearts.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My husband says I have changed and my daughter says I am nicer, she is thirty-six. I try to be more understanding. I feel greater love for my friends and family. I feel a oneness with God and pray that if Jesus has a mission for me that I am open to receive it and fulfill it for him.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There are no words to describe the experience. Awesome, all consuming, love, beautiful, feelings are just not good enough.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Not aware of it yet.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of it was meaningful. I got to see my grandmother, I could tell my cousins I saw their dad. I gave a message to my dad from his mom.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes To anyone who will listen every time I can. Some people cry, most get chills, some share their experiences with me, and they go and tell someone.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes From the TV but not much.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real I never saw my uncles as children. The colors were unlike anything I have ever seen. And Jesus, the feeling I got when I saw him and hugged him, was unlike anything that has ever happened to me.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I just know it is.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes People sharing with me their feelings, talking to my friends, all have a spiritual part now. Even our priest at church I shared with, his sermons are more on love and forgiveness.