I won't go into how I ended up where I did but there I was in a small aluminum boat looking at a huge black wall, knowing in a few seconds we would hit and thinking I can only do what I can do - I couldn't remember until a few months ago what happened next. The aluminum boat hit the barge, the boat flipped toward the barge, I fell into the water, I hit my head on the barge, went under the barge, started swimming around trying to find the side to swim out from under.
No matter where I went, I couldn't find my way out. I couldn't believe this was how I was going to die. I thought about my son in ninth grade and how I was not going to finish raising him and how bad it will be for him and wishing I could stay to see him grow up. I gave up, quit swimming and let myself go then thought of David again and gave it one last try - which way to go? I am right handed I'll go right. I walked my hands on the metal then finally no metal there I twisted to get out from under and then I remember extreme cold then complete calm and happiness. I heard, she has no pulse oh my God, oh my God.
I was then out of body, so light, so free, so content to just be. Everyone was so upset, so desperate to help me; I didn't need help I was fine and so happy more happier than I ever felt. At peace with the feeling of acceptance and love. It was more overpowering then anything I ever felt. I then realized I knew things, it is all so simple, people made things so difficult, it didn't have to be. What really caught my interest is knowing why we can't use all of our brain potential. Wow, what an eye opener. We have knowledge of this side with us all the time in our head. But to live here and learn what we must to grow in understanding of emotional pain, physical pain, complete loneliness, complete helplessness, that part of the brain is asleep for as long as our heart is beating. When our heart stops our complete knowledge returns. Everyone who dies sees and hears what they need for their crossover to be as calmly accepted to them as possible, wait there is more I want to remember, then I am so cold, oh no I am back, I hurt, I want to go back. I was given CPR (I had no pulse or heartbeat). This is the hardest school I could ever go to, I am not finished, there is more I have to do, more I have to learn, and it will be harder now, knowing where I could be.
Date NDE Occurred: 02-02-03
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Direct head injury Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I was trapped under a barge - trying to find my way out - and thinking I can't believe this is the way I am going to die.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal My level of consciousness and alertness tuned to a high frequency. This is the only way I can explain.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Out of my body floating over it.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I could see and feel earth but I knew I was out of body at a new place, kind of like looking in a mirror to the other side of it.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? Colors were like bright lights turned on into them. I was not solid, I was of substance but very light.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Extreme happiness.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I was aware of the greatest hardships and problems this world has ever known. I know here the trials are going to get harder and harder for everyone. Those here and their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren are the strongest so they can get through what is to come. I can't remember in detail what is to be.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes God is needed in my life, church is optional.
What is your religion now? Liberal I don't go to church I don't need religion now I have an understanding of what is. Talking to God can be done anywhere at any time. There are those who feel closer to god in church and need a community of people who feel the way they do to feel even close
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes God is needed in my life, church is optional.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I see friends differently. They are complaining about this or that. We are here to have the problem, experience it, learn from it, grow and go on. In relationships, you meet someone, fall in love, it becomes sour, you gave each other a lesson to be learned, you both carried out the relationship's purpose - if you stay you become unhappy, they too become unhappy, there are more relationships to experience you don't so your time here learning has not grown into the full potential it could have. Not to say some are meant to last forever, but some are just a stepping stone to something better. If you are complaining and not finding a solution I rather break the relationship with that person, we are meant to learn and keep going.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes My brother-in-law died in 2000. He did not believe in an afterlife. I was on the phone with my sister who lived in Walnut Creek California. All at once, I only could see yellow, as if someone put a yellow sheet of paper in front of my eyes. Then it was gone and in my den, it was filled with bubbles, thousands of bubbles. This kept happening the color yellow then gone, thousands of bubbles then gone. Then I had a voice in my head saying tell her, tell her, tell her, it became so loud I couldn't even hear my sister any more. I then said Marsha, I have to tell you something it makes no sense, I am not crazy but I have to tell you YELLOW BUBBLES. She couldn't believe it. She was happy, so happy. She then told me one night her husband Bob and her watched a movie called Houdini (not sure spelled right). Bob was making a comment of being no afterlife; Marsha told him she would think of a secret word known only to each and whoever went first if there was an afterlife to somehow get the secret word to the one left here. To my surprise, that was the secret words Yellow Bubbles. She picked them because it made no sense, nobody would ever just blurt out those words unless one of them were telling them to.
My sister Marsha called one evening and I told her to watch the news something was going to happen on the Golden Gate Bridge in the next week in which many people would be there. I wanted her to call if it happened. She called, it did, and someone tried to jump.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, learning what we do from day to day effects other people we do not even know or have met. Turning left instead of right. Going to a show instead of the mall, everything we do makes a ripple that changes something else. We are very connected with each other over there, feel very close, and love one another.
Here in these bodies we are disconnected to each other and very lonely that is why a baby needs a lot of touching to live it is very hard for us to be so totally isolated from each other. We need one another more than we know.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes See 36 above.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Heard about it here and there I didn't think much of it.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I just knew that this reality was, because of the knowledge and understanding about things I had questions about and things I never even thought of. I now know I was over, it happened, I knew, I had knowledge I never had before I only regret losing a lot of it only remembering bits and pieces.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? My experience was eye opening. I am not the person I was. I sometimes miss this.
I view the world with different eyes, the world and its meaning is all new and sometimes a bit uncomfortable. Now with this experience I have changed and change is not always easy but now I know it is always necessary.