My NDE occurred when I crashed a party of teenagers older than myself. I was age 14 and naive of such parties. I knew about the party because my older sister was going to be there. I wanted to know what older teenagers did at such parties. As soon as I arrived at the party, it was already crowded. In the hallway entrance to a small apartment, I saw the kitchen. On top of the stove, there was a group of big, steaming soup pots and several large, black garbage bags lying on the counters. A young man who I did not know, asked me if I wanted some kool-Aid. Literally, I thought I was being offered a glass of kool-Aid, so I said, 'Yes.' The young man took one of the pots from the stove, looked down into the pot as he said, 'ut oh, the dregs.' I had no idea what he was talking about, but the crowd around laughed.
The dregs are the heavier sediment the settled to the bottom of the pot. He poured the dregs into a large glass. He then poured red liquid into the glass, stirred it and handed it to me. I took a several large gulps because I was thirsty. It had a bitter taste. I told them it needed more sugar and they laughed again. Within a minute of drinking the kool-Aid, I started to feel weird and dizzy. I went to a nearby couch to sit down. Almost immediately, I began to hallucinate. I had no idea what was happening to me since I had never done drugs before. I had no idea at the time that I had been drugged.
I became extremely frightened when the shag carpet turned into squirming worms and the walls moved in and out with the music in a claustrophobic way. The other people at the party knew something was wrong with me but made no effort to help me. I knew I had to get away from these awful people.
I was so scared that I ran out of the apartment and into the street. All I knew was that I had to make it home. Trying to make my way home on foot, I had to cross several busy streets. I don’t know how I made it across those streets without being hit by a car, but somehow I found my way home. I entered the house through the back door and tried to be quiet since I because I wasn’t supposed to be out or at that party. I climbed the steps to my bedroom and then fell onto my bed.
The hallucinations became much worse. I began to hallucinate that my fingers were melting and that my bones were shrinking. It was extremely, bone-aching painful. I knew I was dying. The hard part was giving up my body. I held on a long time since I was afraid to give up. I knew that if I could lose my body, the pain would go away. The pain was so unbearable, I gave it up and let go.
As soon as I let go, I floated upwards and out of my body. The pain went away. It was dark all around but I could see my body lying dead on the bed. As I floated upwards, I could see members of my family in various other parts of our house doing certain things. I was relieved to see them. As I floated higher and higher I could see the house and neighborhood from a birds-eye view. The sides of my awareness was PITCH BLACK, cold darkness. As I rose higher I saw or felt dark misty entities floating in that darkness with me. Some entitites were in human, whispy shapes but many were animal shapes, like dogs and cats. Some where flying by swiftly, and some were just floating like they were stuck in the darkness.
It became so dark I could no longer see my neighborhood or house. This scared me. It felt like I was rising into another layer of darkness. BUT I was extremely conscious in my MIND. I was afraid of this darkness and wanted to find a way out. It seemed like a forever-darkness.
Finally, I saw a TINY pin prick of bright LIGHT in the darkness. I KNEW I had to go toward that tiny light. As I floated toward the light, I saw recognizable events in my life from the past. As I got closer to this tiny light, I saw things that I felt were future events but was confused because I did not recognize the events.
As I moved closer and closer to the light it became a tunnel. At first it was dark, then it got lighter and then was light. I felt heat. At one point the light heat became so intense I was afraid. I thought, 'It’s a good thing that I no longer have a body - because a body could not withstand the intensity of this light and heat. At that point, I became overjoyed because I realized my mind was ALERT and conscious of EVERYTHING. This thought of KNOWING EVERYTHING pervaded as I moved through the tunnel of light. I came closer and closer upon the grand all-encompassing LIGHT of GOD. I felt PURE LOVE as God embraced me in light. I also felt scared of the knowledge and power that I felt surrounding me. Then I heard a voice tell me, 'It is not your time, you are to be sent back.'
And then I was suddenly let go.
I came into my body again in a flash of SHOCK. I was wide awake and breathless in astonishment of what I had experienced.
I immediately felt sadness because I already missed the feeling of being embraced by GOD's pure love. I was also dumbfounded in how to act in my body again. It felt like I had to get used to it all over again. I remember thinking about how shocking it is to be born as a baby body. At least they could grow into a body over time, but to be shot down into a body suddenly is an overwhelming SHOCK. Even though I knew it was my body, it felt new and foreign to me.
Not to mention the effects of being unknowingly overdosed by accident by a group of stupid teenagers who knew I was naive but tricked me anyway. Theygave me NO HELP. From that day forward I avoided anyone in that group.
It took me over 6 months to begin to get used to my body again. It took years to finally read about and understand that there were others like me with who experienced an NDE. When I first came across an account of NDE stories, I was not surprised to learn that many have similar experiences
Date NDE Occurred: 1975
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug or medication overdose. Other: In very good health before and after incident.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. KNOWING EVERYTHING pervaded my experience
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? YES
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual.
Slower because it seemed that my experience lasted forever. It felt like a long time passed. Then when I came back into my body, everything felt super fast.
Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I felt like I had superhuman vision and other senses
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing is acute anyway. But my hearing during the experience was profound
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
The experience included: Passing into or through a tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It’s interesting because I still see that tiny pin prick of light, especially during meditation. It makes me happy to know that it is always with me for eternity. I know what that light is. It is the PURE LOVE and LIGHT of GOD
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an Unearthly light? Yes
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. PURE LOVE and LIGHT
The experience included: Hellish imagery
What emotions did you feel during the experience? FEAR and PURE LOVE
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. This is one of the things that is most difficult to put into words. I felt like GOD gives us all the knowledge of everything in the Universe. THIS is also the experience of PURE LOVE, LIGHT and JOY. I still feel this. Sometime I have predicted events in scientific discovery before they have happened.
The experience included: Life Review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control see above story
The experience included: Future Visions
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future. Scenes from my personal future and scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Unknown
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated. On both sides, My parents parents did not impose any religious beliefs upon them or practice a faith. My Mothers side of the family is of (Russian / Hungarian) Jewish origins and my Fathers side was German Lutheran. My parents did not impose any religious beliefs upon me. In fact at the age of 6 (on the 1st day of 1st grade), my parents sat me down to try to explain what religion was. They told me they did believe in God but they did not practice a religious faith and that choosing a belief/ faith was totally up to me. They encouraged that if I wished I could explore religion on my own through friends I was about to meet in first grade, explaining to me that many i would meet in school would probably have the religious faith of their parents / or go to church on Sunday with their parents. My knowledge about religious beliefs at the time of my NDE incident encompassed a basic general understanding of different faiths and beliefs in my community and around the world. I had no frame of reference for my NDE until many years after the experience.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes see above answers about knowing GOD
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated After my NDE, during which i experienced GOD wholly, I have had faith and belief in the GOD I experienced = PURE, LOVE, and LIGHT
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Because I had no religious bias before my NDE I feel like my experience of GOD is PURE and TRUE
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes because I my experience I know GOD. My experience opened my MIND and intellect
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin see above story
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes During my NDE, I became aware that MIND consciousness and LOVE are eternal. Therefore, if I am MIND consciousness, now I have been in the past and will be in the future.
During my NDE, I felt GOD'S PURE LOVE, past, present and future
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt GOD'S embrace of PURE LOVE and LIGHT. I felt one with all in the universe
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I felt like my NDE experience and the knowledge from it is a special gift from GOD
Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes GOD IS LIGHT. GOD IS PURE LOVE.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes The MIND is consciousness. Consciousness is eternal
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I moderately fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes My experience allowed me to understand the fallacies of religious dogmas and the damage those fallacies have done to human, earthly existences throughout history.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes see above story. Life in a body is hard. We are lucky if we are blessed with a good body / MIND. Life consciousness outside of our bodies can be pure Bliss if LOVE is our prevailing thought and action
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I experienced the PURE LOVE and JOY of GOD. Because of this experience I know how to recognize pure love
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes spiritual aspects of a persons character / MINDset and actions became more important to me after my NDE
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes For many years I could not even begin to describe my experience. In fact I told no one for many years after my NDE. My account here does not do justice to the actual experience
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. My NDE is always ever-present in my consciousness and always will be.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have always been psychic and experienced ESP and other paranormal events but my psychic / paranormal abilities increased GREATLY after my NDE
Ever since my NDE, I have experienced many premonitions that came true. I have also experienced many Extra Sensory Perceptions. I have seen ghosts and other paranormal entitiesHave you ever shared this experience with others? Yes many years after
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes pure love
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