I had been smoking marijuana. Someone gave me another joint that was laced with LSD. I had an out of body experience along with hallucinations but very definitely, I was disturbed by the confusing experience. I was trying to figure out if my experience was merely all about the drugs or an encounter with the divine. It took me some time to sort it out and think about it all.
I was able to tell my friends what they were doing while I was unconscious and hovering over my body. At one point, I saw one of my friends come by to pick me up and declared I was dead. I was extremely moved by being in the presence of immense LOVE and PEACE. I had a moment of extreme awareness of my failings and faults while in the presence of a Being who was an overwhelming reality of Love, Light and Peace. I spoke with this presence amidst a feeling of FINALITY and expressed sorrow for my self-centeredness, sins and faults. I was given a chance to make a choice to complete my life.
While I did wake up, I was dazed and confused for quite some time. The experience changed my life in that I became a true believer in God. I do not fear death and have dedicated my life to be of service to others.
Date NDE Occurred: February '72
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Drug or medication overdose. Other:
Drug or medication overdose,total unconsciousness
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain It was so long ago, that it is hard to recall exactly. I do remember when I woke up and told some of my friends what they were doing while I was out of my body. It freaked them out, as they had no idea how that could have occurred. This all took place in a dormitory amidst some crazy college friends who in some ways didn't want to deal with what I was telling them. Some did listen and others avoided me. Some just couldn't believe I could actually describe to them what they were doing and just stopped speaking about it because they were scared.
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The clarity and intensity of just how clear everything was. There was consciousness about living a rightful way of life, not so much in an everyday choice thing but the realization that we were created to live a very conscious-filled way of loving others. THAT is my purpose so that I would feel akin, or next to, or a part of, this Being of light, love and peace.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I arrived at this place or moment of finality and when after, having experienced all my life as if watching a movie of my life in reverse on my eyelids. I was extremely conscious even experiencing the moment as an infant when I recognized that my dad was a special person in my life. In other words, I was re-experiencing when I recognized that face picking me up out of a crib. I knew that he was special and then afterwards re-experiencing my birth. It was very overwhelming while going through the life review with EVERY emotion, high and low, and being intensely re-experienced.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time meant nothing, but when I awoke, I was very confused. I had been away for who knows how long because time just became irrelevant.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The vision was VERY HARD to explain in that it was inside and outside of me at the same time. Early on in the experience, I seemed to be seeing the experience on my eyelids. But when I experienced intense emotions, there was no doubt. There was FINALITY. I woke up in peace and in the presence of such a surrounding love. It is there that I believed I was indeed dead and in another place. I felt loved and accepted. Yet I felt a need to express to this LOVING presence my faults and sorrows for not being a loving person up to that point in my life, or at least as loving as I could have been. My vision was fine before this experience but during the experience, it was like a quantum leap, as it not only was aided in true sight but also with clarity of consciousness that seemed to enhance my vision, if that makes sense.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't recall any particular changes in my hearing before, during or after my experience other than I clearly heard my friends while I was hovering over my body.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain My experience was one of watching my life, up to that point, of passing in front of me in reverse. All the time while my being part of an incredible awareness of everything in creation. It was not so much a straight tunnel experience but up and down waves of internal and external experiences of all that life had given to me.
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was a 'place' other than earth, but similar in that it wasn't strange to me but it was filled with such great peace and indescribable love.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Pretty much EVERY emotion. I felt warmth, cold, highs, lows, joy, sorrow but arriving and going through some Finality in the presence of LOVE.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others There was an intense awareness of how powerful Love is and that it is why we are here to experience that thought and feeling above all else.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control A large part of my experience was one of seeing my life in front of me as I was re-experiencing it.
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes It can't even be described it as a wall. It was just the totally sensory knowledge that there is no more. I refer to as a FINALITY. In many ways, afterwards and for years, I also thought it could have been re-experiencing my beginning since conception.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life The Being of love telepathically reassured me that all would be all right and that I should return. Of course, when I woke up the next day, I was totally freaked out. It took me some time to sort out everything. I had to keep much to myself but did feel in the deeper recesses of my being that I would be all right, over time. The first few months, I was not at all in a good mental place as I was afraid, almost paranoid, after sharing my story with others. Most thought I was crazy and so I withdrew. I did a great deal of reading to find out just what I had experienced.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic an young indifferent Catholic, more a product of my upbringing not yet really embracing of a deep faith
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I studied philosophy, theology and researched NDE for quite some time after the experience so long ago. It led me to believe in Jesus as a GOD-MAN and embrace the Catholic faith.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic after my NDE i spent about 2 years reading/studying philosophy and religions and deeply committed to trying to find out just what death is about and what life is about
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Perhaps I thought I would have seen many deceased relatives or friends, which I did not see. I did feel that all people are welcomed there, as I was.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I deeply examined my beliefs in terms of 'does my spiritual experience know a place in religion.' I studied comparative religions and philosophy, embraced Jesus and the Catholic faith.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I have a VERY real strong, no doubt about it, feeling that the presence of a Higher being was totally spiritual. There was neither shape nor form, just a total real presence.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I believed I was speaking with Jesus in my mind. All the time I was 'repenting' of my failings and shortcomings. But I can't say that I saw Jesus, I only believed it to be him with me there.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain at some point i thought i heard/ experienced that I knew you as Peter ? but never dwelled much more on that than the first few weeks after
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes My whole experience seemed to be part of a unified of everything that exists. ALL things are connected and part of one existence.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes There was no physical feature of any Being in a body, but certainly, there was awareness of an extraordinary being; shall I say Divine Being? This Being made me feel so received and accepted without judgment of any kind. God definitely exists.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I knew an intense understanding that to LOVE is why we exist and the more we love the more we would be like the Being I experienced. God, to me, IS LOVE ever since I had this experience.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I came to an incredible awareness that we are made of body and soul and that our spirit does survive. The soul knows itself after leaving the body in a much more complete, aware way.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love is a MAJOR part of my experience.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I deeply believe in a Creator, Loving God and do my best to share him with others through my everyday interaction with people.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I was VERY confused and, in those days, very unsure of others who dismissed my experience as a bad drug reaction. Then I started to do my own research. At first, I read Kubler-Ross and Raymond Moody. Then I read philosophy and theology from both the East and West cultural traditions. I began to understand others had very similar experiences whether it happened to be triggered by drugs or a motorcycle accident.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events. It was very real and intense but being a bit otherworldly and beyond the normal everyday experience in that because it seemed like a subjective internal experience, it is hard to put into common terms.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? None particularly, I do, from time to time, think about the overall experience but try not to dwell on it too much, as I try to live in the present moments of my life.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I tried sharing the experience but only those people who were on some sort of their own spiritual quest would listen, believe it happened, or tried to accept it happened to me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Confusion and paranoia set in as I tried to tell others of it.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was real. I experienced it and it gave me insight into myself but it isn't something on which I dwell.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain Other than my recalling the experience, (once in a great while perhaps, only two to three times in forty years), when I am tired or stressed I feel like the experience is about to occur again. It is more like an intrusive flashback and not a re-encounter with the Divine Being.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I am glad I came upon this website after having viewed a YouTube video and listening to your research.