My husband and I were living in Florida by his family. My father called and said he needed me to come home and help him (he was dying of cancer). Since my husband of fourteen years had a 'girlfriend', I left on the next plane. After several months of staying in a very small trailer and taking care of my dad, depression set in very bad. My brother had come and taken my dad to Tennessee to stay with him for the weekend. I couldn't take it any longer. I took ninety tablets. I was crying and yelled at God to forgive me. I called the hospital emergency room after about fifteen minutes and asked them if that amount would be fatal. The lady started asking me questions. I told her I didn't want her involved. But in the meantime, I guess she traced the call.
After the tunnel experience, I woke up in the hospital and new exactly that it was two days later. I even knew the day of the week. The doctor came in and told me that by all rights I should not be here, that I had taken enough medication to kill ten grown men. He said I had been 'dead' for forty-five minutes and in a coma for two days.
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Clinical death
I had taken a month's supply of my father's antidepressant medication. He was dying of cancer and I was the only one to care for him.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes So hard to explain. There was just not a solid body.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Total alertness.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I'm not real sure what you mean by this.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. At first, a swooshing sound.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was a gliding feeling. A fast glide.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes He was at the end of the tunnel. I did not know him. He had long white hair and a long white beard. I cannot remember a lot of the conversation. I have thought of being hypnotized so that I could remember, but mainly he said, 'You HAVE to go back.' As soon as he said it, I regained consciousness.
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Indescribable.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was a 'scene' with trees and flowers and it was full of 'moisture'. So peaceful.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? During the tunnel, a feeling of such love and peace. Total lack of bad emotion.
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Oh, yes. What you answer for when you die is not what the preachers preach. It is, 'What have you done to help your fellow man?'
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Baptist background
What is your religion now? Moderate Still consider myself Baptist, only so much different.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I cannot find the right words to describe very much after the tunnel. It was just so beautiful, feelings of peace and love and the 'fullness of moisture' of everything. (Not the right words.)
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Coming back was the worst part.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Very few. People think you're nuts.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No I think about it a lot at night when I'm going to sleep, but it cannot be 'reproduced'.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I learned that a person cannot go back if they take their own life or anyone else's.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Make it shorter. I've tried three times to complete this before someone came in the room wanting to know what I was doing and looking at me like I had lost my mind.