I awoke around 5:00 am after falling asleep in my lounge chair the night before (very unusual). I got up and let my dog out. I became very aware that something was very wrong although I was feeling no pain. As I headed for the bathroom, I picked up my phone and carried it in with me (something that I never do). Almost immediately after entering the bathroom, I knew that I was going to lose consciousness and with only great effort was I able to dial 911. Within two to three minutes, a policeman was in the bathroom with me, followed by firemen and paramedics. At that point, they started trying to get my vital signs, which they reported as being unable to obtain either a blood pressure or a heart rate. I was still in my body and drifting in and out of consciousness and did not consider myself dead.
They moved me from my bathroom onto a stretcher and into the ambulance for the twenty minute trip to the hospital. As they loaded me into the ambulance I asked for ice water and was told they had none, so then, I asked for water and again they told me that they had none. I told them that if I could not have water I was going to die and I proceeded to die. My initial response was of blackness and then I re-emerged and the ambulance was filled with bright light, light so bright that it should have hurt your eyes but instead I could see very clearly. The paramedics were working furiously on my body and one of them was yelling 'Randy stay with us, Randy!' I thought it was funny that he thought my name was Randy when my name is Rhonda but I also thought it was perfectly okay for him to call me anything he wanted.
They were working so hard yet I was at total peace and without pain, floating, safe, comfortable, and joyous. The sensation that I was feeling at that time goes beyond words. Then I became aware of a voice that told me that it was not my time, that I had things to do which were not completed, but that I would have the choice of dying or returning to my life. At that point, it was as if my abilities to experience time were accelerated and together with this voice which I did not recognize nor could I even say it was man, woman, human or God, was with me as we reviewed my life. Then together we began to look at the things left undone. I was able to see that others who depended on me would be okay. In the background, I could hear and see the paramedics working on my body. They were working so hard and not getting any results - they were screaming that they could not get a heart rate or a blood pressure and that I had not responded to the medications that they had put into my body. I felt badly that they were so upset when I was in such a wonderful state of being which I did not think that I wanted to leave. And then they hit me with the paddles again and I moved back into the world of the living with all its pain. But I wanted so to return to the serenity of the other place.
I was moved from the ambulance to the emergency room and then directly into surgery. I was aware of the conversations going on around me (i.e. doctor yelling at technician because my knee was elevated). At some point in the surgery, the doctor told them to administer more morphine and then I went into a state of unconsciousness and awoke in the coronary care unit with my surgeon sitting at my bedside. He said 'You don't know me...' and I interrupted him and said, 'Yes, I do,' and proceeded to tell him who he was and what had happened. He was obviously stunned that I could tell him about the emergency room and surgery when he thought it would not be possible.
Date NDE Occurred: 'April 06, 2005'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Heart attack Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) .
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the review of my past life, and the preview of what was left to be done.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Zip drive for the spirit.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? Everything was surrounded in a vibrant white light but unlike a spotlight that hurts your eyes this light just allowed you to see everything in microscopic details. There was no division between physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual - all were one. All senses were one. And I was one with the universe and all that was in it.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I transcended from darkness into the light but do not recall a tunnel.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I was met by a voice that I did not know and was not embodied in a form - we carried on a total discussion in seconds that would have taken a life time in this world. It was soothing, comforting, loving.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Glorious, bright light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? There was emotion - but only the most positive emotions. Ones that I could not have even tried to imagine prior to this event.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future But it is almost like I was not allowed to access that knowledge in the present life but that is not disturbing. It is okay - it is the way of the universe. It is the learning process.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I now believe in a universal oneness, am open to having experienced life from many points of views and not just the one that I am living today.
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I now believe in a universal oneness, am open to having experienced life from many points of views and not just the one that I am living today.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes We are all a part of the whole and we are the whole of the part. There is no division between the universe and ourselves - we are the universe, the universe is us. I am a part of you, you are a part of me and when we die, we will again join together. We are how the universe grows and expands - it is the life force.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes More patient.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Part of the experience occurred at lightning fast speed (past life review) and although I remember discussing what things that were left undone I am unable to remember the details, although I was able to relate details of what the paramedics, doctors, etc. were doing while I was on this other plane.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes People that I work with and others often ask me where I obtained such a storehouse of wisdom. And now when I am working with my kids (adolescents with mental illness or have behavioral issues), I sometimes know things which I do not know why I know them. Suddenly, I have great patience with them and they tell me that they can feel that I understand their pain and problems. Even one child, who was so psychotic that no one seemed to be able to reach him, clung to me and would wait at the door for me to come. He had had a near death experience when he had tried to commit suicide and it had been very unpleasant and in his mind he thought that I could help him find the light.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Often, wide and far. Adolescents are the most curious and demand the most detail but then I work with kids in pain and they need more reassurance.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Had run across some info but was open to it being a process of physical response to dying but know now that shutting down should be a decrease in activity and not an increase of activity.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Impossible for a medication or substance to reproduce such an experience unless they killed you.