Experience Description

On October 16, 2001 I was viciously attacked by my ex-husband. He beat me for five hours straight. Before this encounter, I was suicidal. I didn't want to live anymore due to the pain that I was going through. I didn't have the guts to carry out my own suicide so I prayed day after day for my deceased father to just come take me with him. On the night of my attack, I begged my ex-husband just to get it over with and just kill me once and for all. Well he tried and in a strange unexplainable way, he did succeed. Towards the end of the attack, after being knocked unconscious three times, I was lying on the floor, I prayed one last time to my dad to please just take me.

I remember calling out for help three times and with each time, my voice got softer and softer until it became a whisper. After the third time I said to myself, 'this is it,' thinking that this is how I am going to die. I then began to feel a numbness come over me starting at my head and working it's way down to my feet. Then I remember being above my body staring down on myself lying on the floor. It seemed like a long time that I stared at myself. I was surrounded by a bright light and had an overwhelming sense of peace inside. I was okay with dying.

As I stared at myself lying on the floor, I remember shaking my head and thinking, look at what a disgrace I have become. I then heard the voice of my father behind me, I never saw him but I heard his voice, telling me that it was not my time and to look at what I would be leaving my children to face. I remember thinking about my oldest child and seeing him sitting up against his door in his bedroom. The next thing I remember is getting up off the floor and getting dressed and walking into the front room where my attacker was at. I was unexplainably calm and I calmly told him look I'm just grabbing a cigarette and then I need to go to the hospital. I walked into the kitchen and he followed me and continued to beat me more. I was temporarily paralyzed, every time I tried to get up off the floor my legs just wouldn't work, I would just collapse. I finally told myself that I needed to get to the hospital somehow.

I somehow got up the strength to get up and grab the keys and got the car reassuring my ex-husband that I would not tell anyone that he did it and he let me go. I got hospital, walked into the emergency room, and collapsed. I never got any answers to if there was a head injury or not. I would really like to know what happened to me. It took about two weeks after the encounter to start remembering what happened. As I started to remember my experience, it was coming to me in pieces, like a puzzle, and I had to put the pieces together. I was so scared to remember but also so determined to remember what happened that it controlled my life for a long time.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: October 16 2001

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Criminal attackDirect head injury Other I was attacked by my ex-husband and beat for 5 hours straight. I don't know what happened to me but I do know that I left my body after praying to my father to just take me to heaven with him so I didn't have to live through the pain anymore. My fatherI was violently attacked and beaten for five hours. I was knocked unconscious at least three times that I recall due to head injuries. When I went to the hospital, I don't remember them doing any tests on my head. I don't know if there was any damage done or if I was dead in my home or how I all of a sudden came back and got up and drove myself to the hospital. I have so many questions and I need explanations to what happened to me.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I felt an overwhelming sense of peace with everything. This feeling was so strong that I can't even explain it. It was nothing that anyone could ever feel while being alive.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was at my highest level of consciousness as I was looking down on my body lying on the floor.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It seemed to me that I was out my body for a long period of time but I don't think that I was lying on the floor for that long.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did your vision differ in any way from normal? The brightness that surrounded me was so bright almost as if it was fluorescent light.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I heard my father behind me.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I did not see my father but he talked to me telling me that it was not my time and made me realize what I would leave my children to face.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light that surrounded me was so bright as if it was a fluorescent light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? An overwhelming sense of peace, and I realized what a disgrace I had become.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I learned that there is definitely life after death. When you pray, the people you are praying to really do hear you. I learned that death is not a bad thing, that it is actually the best experience that someone will ever experience.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have such a high sense of religious beliefs now.

What is your religion now? Moderate

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have such a high sense of religious beliefs now.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I had the knowledge of death.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have a totally different perspective on things now, and on relationships. I am the most easy-going person that I know. I don't let things get to me. Even my boyfriend's friends say so.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain I just have a hard time wondering if people will think that I am crazy.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I learn things at an incredible speed now.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Getting to communicate with my father.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I started to share my experience when I first started to remember it with the person my ex-husband was having an affair with. I needed some answers to what I was remembering and if what I was remembering really happened. I don't share this experience often because I am afraid people with think I am crazy.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real. I was very confused. The first thing that I remembered was me, staring at myself lying on the floor and didn't understand what I was seeing. I was very confused and scared until all the pieces came together.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I know that my experience definitely happened. It has been three years and I can still feel what I felt and I can still see what I saw like it was yesterday.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I would just like to be able to understand if I was clinically dead or what happened to my brain.