As my body was separating itself from my spirit, I could actually feel the warmth of my surrounding as I looked down on the emergency medical technicians trying to reawaken me. I popped up into a surrounding that was white mist cloud; I saw white granite structures illuminated from the inside out. I smelled roses, honeysuckles, vanilla oranges, cinnamon, myrrh, and more all rolled into one fragrance. The flowers were surrealistic, light and bright or deep and comforting.
Then it happened. I felt a hand on my right shoulder. As I tried to turn to look, the voice was a man's voice that was soft, calming and creamy. His hand was like an aurora borealis, like in Alaska, you could see the shape but the skin was crystalline of all colors, long lanky fingers, and medium wrist. He said, 'Raven, you cannot stay this is not your time, you need to go back now.' I said, 'I just got here, who are you?' He said, 'You know who I am.' I said 'God?' He said yes. I thought God was a woman, my heroes and warriors were all women, I believed in the sacred feminine based on my childhood. Though my mother was Catholic, my grandmother raised me and aunts separate from my siblings to be a medicine woman. He then said, 'You must leave and you must leave now.' I said I don't want to go. 'You raven have much to do, it is not over for you.'
The next thing I know is that I was pushed back into my body, the body that was in pain, from the defibrillator pounding on by heart, I was freezing at thirty-one degrees; I was bewildered why God did not want me. We arrived at St. Mark's Hospital, and I am hooked up, pumped with stuff I cannot even pronounce. Finally, still in a defibrillator, with the real fact that the doctors will have to stop my heart and then restart it in the morning if the drugs do not work. But a weird thing happened, I couldn't close my eyes. I think the drugs were too much for me to handle. There was a sense of not knowing, no fear, just not knowing what the mortals were going to do.
A nurse, with a white angel wing crisp hat, starched white uniform, white seamed stocking, and white bright shoes and gloves a blue wool cape with red lining and nurse insignias on her left area above the breast area. She sits down and the smell of roses, gardenias, hyacinths all flowers but none separate. It lingered around here and came towards me; the room was bright around her. She reminded me of Clara Barton or what she could look like. She asked if I would like to leave with her. I said God doesn't want me yet he said I had a mission. She said that God had changed his mind and thought that perhaps I would go. I said I wanted to stay, I do not know what God wants, but I will do my best to follow whatever he directs me to. I said I love him, his son and the spirit. She said God loves me to. I cried, I reached for a tissue and she was no longer there.
Date NDE Occurred: NOV. 1999
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) 'I WAS PLACED IN THE EMERGENCY VEHICLE, MY BLOOD PRESSURE WAS DROPPING, I WAS COLD, 67 DEGREES AND DROPPING. I WAS LEAVING MY BODY AND LOOKING DOWN INTO THE AMBULANCE AT THE EMT'S TRYING TO RECESSITATE ME, I HAD NO PAIN, NO FEAR, NOTHING BUT JOY, WARMTH,
Atrial fibrillation beats to 400/per min. Body temp, plummeting to below thirty-three degrees or less. Unable to breathe. Abdomen pain, vomiting.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The moment I saw it was becoming warm and rising. And the conversation with God.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
The altered time I felt was for many days, but actually was less than one hour.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Intensity was profoundly amped up. Some of it I cannot put into words. It was different.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Sharper, I could hear small sounds, ladybugs.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I believed I saw God, not as a female as I thought, but as a man.
The other person I saw was in my hospital room, she looked human.
Where God was shaped but more like an aurora borealis crystalline mist in a shape of a man.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes As I entered it was ethereal bright but not blinding.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I experienced only joy, love, compassion, all the great words but no fear. Peacefulness.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal 'PRACTICING SHAMAN, WICCA, TEACHER AND MENTOR'
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am now a Christian, still practice some shaman ways, but not Wicca.
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist 'CHRISTIAN,SPIRTUALIST.'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am now a Christian, still practice some shaman ways, but not Wicca.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes This experience has ramped up my ESP/intuitiveness more. I have had it before. But this is different. I am ruled by more love and compassion and lessons to be learned and to teach.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am better for it for God so trusts me I do not want to let him down.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The words could not describe the beauty of that moment. The smells, the honey. Feeling of love, unbelievable. Life enhancing.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Passing people and I can tell if they are either evil or good. Knowing who I was going to marry, ten years before he did. Pregnancies. Hands on and telling them what was wrong with them and being feeling sure. On and on. My paradigm is changed.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, when God told me that we would meet again, but I have much to do on earth.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Only friends. A handful. Now you.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real The serenity of this showed through actions. I felt I glowed.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I came back to teach what God is about. By being kinder, generous, loving, patient, open minded already and now I am a chasm, I can go on. That God is a man and not a woman.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I believe that God gives us all a path to choose, I believe NDErs are God's special children and he wants us to make sure we teach all we speak to.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I do not know what to ask, I can draw a picture for you.