I felt more tired than usual as I had worked a lot for a few years, and had worked on the house we were building during my vacation. I was supposed to start work again the day after this happened. I was putting on a new sweater and while I did this, I just fell on the floor. I saw my life as a movie and then I woke up and said goodbye because I believed I was dying, but I was not afraid at all, as it seemed a natural feeling inside to just let go of life. After that, everything became black; I did not hear, see, feel or remember anything. When I woke up, I could not move anything except my head, and was paralyzed. The ambulance came and looked over me but could not find anything wrong. The diagnosis was exhaustion. I fell three more times after that as I was completely exhausted.
The life review was mostly of my childhood. I saw myself as the girl and the teenager and a little bit of myself as an adult. I saw pictures during different periods of my life and I learned that life is a movie where we are on stage, and that it's me who decides how my movie is going to go and who gets to play a part of it. Today I understand myself a lot better, and I understand that I am the one that chooses what the movie is about every day. It is not a long movie; it is day-by-day, situation by situation. I choose all the time how I am going to react towards what is happening now. Either I can allow other people to make the movie for me or I can choose to do it myself. Second by second, all the choices are mine, and I am the one that has to be responsible for those choices. Even if I think it is someone else’s fault, I have still allowed it to happen. Life is to react to what happens. Life is to feel what is happening and to choose from your heart or your gut, if what is happening is right for you or not. I have all the right in the world to find my own happiness and freedom, and to protect myself and love myself. If I do not love myself, the movie will be very bad and no one wants to be a part of it or in my life, and I will only hurt others and myself.
I see it as a gift that I came to understand my life as a movie and that I am the one that decides how the movie is supposed to be. I divorced in 2007 and took a step in to my life, my movie.
Date NDE Occurred: 2003-08-06
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening'
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the movie and when I had the feeling that I could let go.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I did not experience time at all. Nothing. I know that it took 20-30 minutes for the ambulance to come, but I did not experience that time at all.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I saw the movie in color.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I did not hear the people around me. No sound at all.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peaceful feelings, and that is was safe to let go.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control 'see narrative above'
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I think I described it in the narrative above
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have eliminated some people from my movie because they are not good for me. I have forgiven many that have hurt me badly. I feel more love than before, but that does not mean that I allow people to walk all over me, but I love everybody anyway.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Stronger intuition to take in other people's intentions and to understand what they are thinking. Sometimes I say what others are thinking and it can be confusing to them because it is not me talking to them, but they think it is me. I can accept messages from the other side and feel if anybody wants to say anything. These are not gifts I am working on to improve as I have learned to keep quiet when I hear what the other person is thinking.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was scary to discover that I started to live again. I had been so tired, but I was grateful to get my life back even though it was tough to come back to. I felt a big sorrow and could not get up for 2 months. I had to get help with everything.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Stronger than before, it has taught me so much.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No