On January 27th I had an appointment with my cardiologist at 2:00 pm. everything seemed to be okay and I was told to go back and see him in six weeks. I got home around 3:30 pm. My husband and I were living at my daughter's house across the street from Lowell General Hospital. When I opened the door, I noticed that the TV was on extremely loud. My husband is a little deaf so he sometimes puts the TV on louder when I am not there. He was upstairs when I came in so I took my coat off, hung it in the hallway closet, and went into the living room. I was about to sit down on the chaise lounge which is in front of the TV when all of a sudden I could not swallow, I could not breathe. I tried twice with no good results. I went to try it again and heard what sounded like snap of finger I felt a release of something inside of me and it is then that I saw a white form come out of me and as I looked with my physical eyes I saw it formed my person. I recognized myself and I no longer had the sensation of not being able to breathe or swallow as I felt it was no longer needed wherever I was. I felt good and had no pain. I also felt like whatever problems I had in the world they were swept away instantly at the snap of fingers. It was like whoosh - gone, I felt weightless, absolutely weightless. I felt like I was in a space within my daughter's living room, encased in some sort of space. Around me were waves of something like waves not of water, or electricity but perhaps waves of energy, looking like venetian blinds or ridges all around me at the entrance of some other chamber, which I never entered into the waves, were all around me I believe. These waves I believe were waves of energy to the right and left of the space I was in. I could see the furniture in that living room but they seemed brighter than usual and they seemed pushed back from the space I was in. I was in a space within that room.
As far as my problems in the world went, I felt God was saying to me that in our daily life we make so much out of so little that God only wants us to love and serve Him by loving and serving others so that He is not asking any more than that. It was then that I noticed that in the space that I was in there was absolute deadly silence and peace such as I have never experienced here on earth. I then noticed that I COULD NOT hear the TV and at that point I felt pushed back into my body but not until I also noticed at that time that I could not hear the traffic just outside our door. I lived across the street from Lowell General Hospital and the traffic is constant and never ending. I had moved to Margie's house on October 2, 2008, and my NDE happened 01/27/09 so I was now used to hearing all the traffic going on outside our door. The house is very close to the street. When I finally realized I could not hear the traffic nor the TV I again felt pushed, slammed back into my body. This experience took away my fear of the agony before death. For a while, I had been praying for God to help me go through the agony before death. I was not afraid of death per se but afraid of not being able to take the pain and agony that I had been seeing some of our friends and family go through before their death. I am now no longer afraid of facing the agony before death.
Physics states that energy cannot be created or destroyed. It is my belief that it definitely changes form at death's door and if the energy bars had not been there, I would not have been able to return. When I heard the snap of fingers, I felt and saw a form that looked at first like a silhouette and then formed my person. I was floating in space I believe that I saw my soul. It was my soul that I saw.
This NDE stayed with me for the next two months to the degree that I felt I had to tell someone. I decided to tell my sister, Julie, about it. I felt because she has Alzheimer that if she thinks I am crazy, it doesn't matter. Within ten minutes, she will have forgotten all about it. Sure enough, she did forget because a short time later my daughter Margie told me she was now ready to hear what happened to me in her living room. I started to tell Margie and my sister was there and she stopped me and said, 'Rachel, you never told me about this, how come?' I said, 'Yes, Julie I did tell you but you forgot it Julie. It's okay Julie I don't blame you. Julie I am trying to forget it myself sometimes.' As I continued to tell Margie about my experience, my husband butted in and said, DID YOU FEEL ANY HEAT? We all laughed. His comment broke the air - it was so funny.
From January 27 on, I have been going through a life review and that's been part of my healing process also. I thank God for this experience and wish at times I was back there. At times, I have been angry that I came back because it was so peaceful there. Then again I was weightless also and which woman wouldn't want to be weightless??? That was a good feeling. I can see how God could put billions of people in heaven especially as we will be weightless and will be able to float or fly wherever we want to go with no pain etc.
A short time after my NDE I was able to go back to church and everything throughout the Mass touched me even the songs, the song 'You are mine' says I will come to you in the silence. (The word deadly silent came to me when I felt the silence in NDE.) The song then says - I will lift you from all your fear. (This NDE did that also.) I have been in a lot of pain since 1996 when I got a five bypasses ended up with angina from 2002 on. I will call your name, embracing all your pain. Stand up now and live. The other song that touched me during the Mass was Eye has not seen, Ear has not heard, when pain and sorrow weigh us down be near to us O Lord, forgive the weakness of our faith and bear me up within your peaceful world. (HE did that as I was floating, flying in space.) Our lives are but a single BREATH, we flower and we fade yet all our days are in your hands so we return in love what love has made. To those who see with eyes of faith the Lord is ever near, reflected in the faces of all the poor and lowly of the world.
The NDE lasted seconds (I was standing when it started and I was standing able to breathe and swallow again when I came out of the NDE) so I believe I lived in eternity for a few seconds and I am looking forward to returning to the special space that God has reserved for me.
Date NDE Occurred: 'January 27,2009'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes I had a stent put in my heart the week before. I was at my cardiologist office one hour before this happened to me. It was sudden. Life review started right after this experience. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) 'I could not swallow, I could not breathe.'
I have angina and my cardiologist felt I needed another stent. He sent me to a catheterization laboratory and I ended up with another stent. At the time of my visit the following week, I felt better. I now have twenty-five stents.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Throughout whole experience I was conscious of my every move and was able to think and try to analyze what was going on.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I felt encased in a special space within the Living Room even after it was over I could bring myself back there and visualize the space, the waves of energy or ridges that encapsulated this space within the Living Room.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was conscious of my thoughts and moves but at one point I turned and saw my body did not follow me and I could not hear traffic outside and only then was I slammed back into my body and that I had no control over at all.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was deadly silent throughout NDE, never heard a thing.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No But the furniture in the room seemed to light up and seemed to be out of my special space that I was enclosed in within the living room.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I heard and felt a release of something from my body, out of my body at the snap of finger there was something white that came out of me and I also felt it at the snap and it formed into my form. I then saw myself floating and being weightless.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Not at the NDE but after it began and continued for months. I am now trying real hard to live only in the present moment and love God and serve Him by loving and serving others. I am now no longer afraid of the agony before death. I am counting on God to be there with me period.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I was definitely encased in a space, felt it and saw walls of energy all around me that kept moving.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Roman Catholic Church - what do you mean by Moderate?
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I am Roman Catholic and with me With God all things are possible. I go to Him for everything.
What is your religion now? Moderate Roman Catholic Church - what do you mean by moderate?
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I am Roman Catholic and with me With God all things are possible. I go to Him for everything.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I am to love the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my mind and with all of my strength and serve Him while loving and serving my neighbors.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes They seem to want to hear it again and don't mind hearing it again to others I would not even mention it to them. It's not a problem for me though. It's reality.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I thought people would think I was crazy. My cardiologist was ready to pink paper me when I told him about my experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? My flying or floating up in the air, being weightless. The thought that I am here to love and serve God by loving and serving others. It is a very simple message. That's all God wants from me. Also the snap and release of my soul being liberated from my body as I felt it also break away from my body.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I waited two months to tell my sister, and three months for my next appointment to the cardiologist to share with him my NDE experience. He wanted to pink paper me. Ha, Ha, but he finally said I very simply died when I told him I had been going to him for fourteen years and I was not leaving that office unless he told me his opinion of what happened to me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had read Dr Moody's books about the time they came out but did not remember much so I borrowed my brother's books and reread them about six months or so after the NDE.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real People tend to think you are crazy having this experience. My own cardiologist was ready to pink paper me but understood what happened to me eventually during that visit because on the way out he joked with me and said, 'If you don't want me to tell anyone it will cost you.' We both laughed at this comment.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Today I would witness to this experience if I felt it was needed by someone who is afraid to die. Most people shrug it off but some believe. It's not important to me really who does or who does not believe. For me it was real and I received some healing from the NDE.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes The whole month before the NDE I had a LOT of pains (angina) and then got the stent but took many Nitros to kill the pain. If I went up the stairs I had to take a Nitro, to go outside in cold in January I had to take a Nitro, etc. so I took many Nitros. Then I got a stent and was fine for a while until eighteen months later July 28, 2010 when I got angioplasty and was without ANY pains for over two months but now have a lot of pressure but no real angina pains since July 28th 2010.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? The next time I choose Heaven if I have any control over it.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? You covered all my points. Thank you for listening.