My mother was a very angry and afraid person. She worried a lot and her response to anything not going to what she thought should happen, she would react with extreme anger and frustration, which in turn would cause her to beat us children relentlessly. This was another one of those days. I must have done something wrong. She decided that I needed to be punished by having the devil beaten out of me. Her favorite weapon was the carpet beater. She beat me hard and fast and I tried to get away from her. I got close to the stairs, she kicked me, and I fell down the stairs, hitting my head on the concrete floor on the bottom. There was an extreme pain flushing through me.
In that exact moment, I found myself away from my body looking at the scene. I saw this woman whom I knew was my mother hitting in a huge rage on what seemed a lifeless body of a child, which I also knew was my body. What surprised me the most was that I did not feel any pain. I felt fine, strong and clear. It was then, when I discovered that I was going through a tunnel. The tunnel was full of radiant light. At the end of the tunnel were some beings, including angels. One of them was Archangel Mich'l. I gathered amongst them, still watching the scene of that woman hitting that child.
I instantly knew that I had reached a crossroad. I knew I had to make a decision whether to go with the beings, which I knew it meant that the body of this child down there would never come back to life or go back and inhabit this body once more. There was a very pleasing thought at that time. I knew if I am not going back, the body will be dead which meant that this woman cannot hide the fact anymore that she abused her children. She just could not explain this dead body that also showed wounds of the beating. There was clear blood under run imprints of that carpet beater. It was very tempting to give into this option, as I now felt safe and good and not in fear every minute of the day. There was also another voice, another voice of mine, which suggested to me to go back. Saying yes, that my life will not be the easiest for some time to come but reminded me of my commitment why I wanted to come back to earth, wanting to fully integrate with myself and experience ascension. Experiencing and expressing the magnificent being that I was in a third dimensional space. So, my decision was to go back into the body of this child taking one big breath.
My life, after this, changed even more. I kept to myself; my nights (after everyone had gone to bed) were mine. The days were filled with trying to survive, trying to fit into society. The beatings continued until I was 14 years of age when my mother for the last time raised her hand to beat me but frozen in the same second; uttering in sheer surprise, 'You look like you would have killed me if I had beaten you now.' I was not aware of my facial expression at that time but it must have been very definite!
Date NDE Occurred: 1966
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Other: 'I am not sure if my body had actually died, it seemed to me like that'
My mother was beating me and in the process I fell down the stairs, hitting my head on the concrete floor, my mother following me and still beating wildly.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes While I had left my body I still was aware; I saw and heard what was going on in the earthly realm. I felt a compassion for that woman beating that child. I saw color surrounding her body in browns and dark reds.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I had left my body. A much heightened awareness, knowingness about things a child normally would not have: clarity.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
It did not seem to be in a linear fashion.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. During the day I had to function, the visions were not really mine, here; during this experience I knew they were mine even though I could not understand this with my mind at that time.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard my own voice so very clearly.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I went through a tunnel of brilliant light.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It is difficult to describe, it felt so lively and life-giving, warm, loving.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Even though it was in a way a strange place for the mind, my divine being knew exactly where I was.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Big relief as the fears had left, a feeling that I own myself and that I was away from any influence of others.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I was what I felt I am when I am in my body but it was only allowed to come to me once I was in bed and all others had gone to sleep, as this was the only time I felt safe.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future There were flashes of my immediate future, knowing that it still will not be easy but then it felt that when I reached maturity I would be able to bring myself together and life would surprise me many times.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain I only experienced this pause on the travel into the other realm where I evaluated and made the decision to go back into my body.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will There was a definite sense that I needed to go back in order to fulfill my life's purpose.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic As I was only a child I was part of a family with a very strong catholic faith.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Not important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience As I was a child a part of me was living in the feeling dreaming world, a world that was very much connected to this invisible world but there was also the part of me who was already well trained on this earthly plane believing in its shortage, hatred, violence etc.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes This experience confirmed to me what I felt as a child that there is another way of living life. However, I still was under the influence of the family for many more years.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Archangel Mich'l
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I would describe the being(s) as an angel, one of them being Archangel Mich'l.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes There were flashbacks to lifes I had lived before.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt that there was an energy that belongs to all of us and serves all of us.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes There was a definite sense that I was part of everything and that I am God also.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes The voice said that I matter, that I had knowledge that could be of benefit.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes My voice was telling me to go back as it was important for my own evolution, to finish something important.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes It felt like I am going to a place of love, my true home.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes The feeling was that we all have different facets that we are living, aspects of ourselves which if they would be accepted in ourselves, we would be open and respectful towards ourselves and thus towards others. The world is very colourful and life can be lived in joy.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt a deep understanding that what I am experiencing on the earthly plane is separateness and that this experience shows me what love on earth could be. Compassion and respect for all beings not matter how we decide to live our lives.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I felt an even deeper separation between myself and my parents. I felt that my being was not understood, as a matter of fact, I felt my being could potentially be dangerous or even evil.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is difficult to capture the feelings that were there, the environment, the light, the light beings, the feeling of being home again.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience less accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience The only things I truly can remember is that I always felt unsafe, I was on guard, I had 100 plans on what to do if this or that would happen, how to defend myself and keep myself from harm.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I am hearing this voice that if I open to it, it can give me answers for which I am looking.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I think it took about 30 years before I shared this experience with somebody else. I noticed that a lot of people were actually afraid when they heard about it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I had experiences in my dreams and dream times when I entered other realms which of course as a child you are being taught that this is just fantasy land and not worth anything. Better to focus your energy on a worldly issue!
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real My reality was very rough and tough in that family and all that counted were to be polite, being a good scholar, fulfill your duties and blend in.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real During my life I had many experiences that showed me that there is so much more than what human beings believe. I experienced that I was able, at times, to manifest out of the blue by simply staying with myself bringing forth the manifestation that I desired.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes After this experience I more often left my body, whenever I felt threatened. It was hard for me to stay in my body.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? For many years of my life I never ever talked about this with anybody. I kept this to myself as I felt it was just another part of me that was awkward and distracting. This happened 47 years ago and it just did not fit anywhere. It was in my early 20's when I experienced that people