I saw my life appear above me as if on a big screen and my focus was drawn into it. I was surprised that I did not view it through my eyes, but rather from a 'fly on the wall' perspective. When it came to the moment I was presently in, the view pulled back and I was looking at my face from beside the bed where I lay. I said to myself 'Wow, I'm dead. I guess the first law of thermodynamics is true'.
At this point, I was standing waist deep in the ocean facing the beach. I was engulfed in a great wave of compassion for the human race. I felt a oneness with everyone. The illusion of being alone in the world fell away and I felt a great calming peace that I haven't felt since.
To my left a voice began talking to me. It was a 'call and response' thing. The voice said something and I repeated it, with a sense like when you are reviewing material for an exam. I was being told that the meaning of life is to love others more than yourself. I was then told and understood that we are all connected as in a chain, and from the eternal point of view, mankind is only viewed from its weakest link.
For some reason at that point, I felt the need to be able to remember the words being spoken to me. All I remember were the words 'To the most innocent'. These words were preceded by the most horrible examples a person can be, a mass murderer like the monsters that flew the planes into the Twin Towers or a child molester. We are not viewed as Mother Teresa or Gandhi, but as these horrible examples of humanity. An overwhelming sense of sadness filled me at this point and then I was back in my body.
The side rails were up on the hospital bed and the ceiling tiles above my head seemed to be moving, as if the bed was being pushed. I was surrounded on all sides of the bed by medical personnel. A man put a syringe in the tubes above my head running into my body and I went out.
I had had a large spinal surgery and was in a recuperative hospital for another 14 days after I was released from the place of the surgery.
Date NDE Occurred: May 2005
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' pulmonary embolism following surgery
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was looking at my body & feeling what I call ' illumination'.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
To see fifty years of my life played out it must have been sped up, but it was so detailed and clear that I was able to take it all in.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I was unable to turn towards whoever was talking to me, who was just out of my sight, as I didn't have a body.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I KNOW that we are all connected ,we are seperated only in illusion.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Total peace and awareness of what I call psychological clarity. Oneness with all humans.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I saw events from my youth that I didn't understand at the time. I even said to myself 'oh that's what really happened'.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal none
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I didn't believe in anything before. Now I view organized religion as a hindrance, keeping people apart from the true knowledge that we are all one.
What is your religion now? Liberal none
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I didn't believe in anything before. Now I view organized religion as a hindrance, keeping people apart from the true knowledge that we are all one.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I am illuminated with the meaning of life and the truth. We are to love others more than ourselves and lift up this chain of humans above where it is. We are all connected. There are levels of energy just like say x-rays, radio waves that the body picks up we have yet to detect scientifically.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I wish this didn't happen. I see events that have happened through victims' eyes. I see the things they see. It's like they are downloaded into my mind.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I suffered abuse from adults when I was too young to understand what was going on, and was then lied to about it. It put my mind at rest about what happened to me and that I was an innocent child.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I didn't speak to anyone about this for over 18 months until I told my daughter.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was on a morphine drip for weeks after and went through months of physical therapy, so I didn't dwell on it until my mind was clear.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have no fear of death, and consider myself a servant of humanity.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Except for the visions, I am glad I was made aware.