Paul Probable NDE

Experience Description

For whatever reason, I've had some spiritual experiences (AKA 'mysticism'), and I want to share with you. Chief among them is a Near Death Experience (NDE). This is when you die, go to the 'other-side', and then come back. I was raised strict Lutheran for what it's worth. This NDE happened early in my life when I got out of High school. It was an accidental poisoning with no lasting side effects. However, years later, I realized that I've never fully recovered from this experience, in part, because once I tasted something great, this earth realm seems pretty pathetic and troublesome like I didn't fit-in anymore. I sensed a great deal of pressure, like I was supposed to accomplish some monumental task having experienced what I did. As it turns out, millions of people have had this happen to them.

I recently had a phone conversation with a lady who also had an NDE, and heads a local support group for people who have had similar experiences. She is also a psychologist. After I described my experience to her, she explained to me that my type of NDE experience is the hardest to recover from, due to the visceral and powerful nature of the experience. She called the process of adjusting back into this life, after having an NDE, as 'reintegration'. She described my experience as a 'level 4' (the highest level) and said it is very rare among the NDE cases. Anyway, I will describe it below: The first thing I am aware of is that suddenly I am being automatically transported to somewhere extremely fast, like at the speed of light. It was a strange sensation because I have never traveled this way before. There was no vehicle and no recollection of a decision to travel. But it was very deliberate, it was taking me wherever it was taking me, and I just stayed still and watched. There was no sense of me having a body, just my vision, but I did feel this movement. Like g-forces beneath my field of vision or within my being. It was a little bit like taking off in a jet from stand-still, my body knew it was moving, and the inside of me was being pushed or pulled.

The force was never enough to be unsettling. It wasn't just in my mind. It was literal travel to another destination. It was in darkness, like the black of night, with faint lights or textures zooming by, or rather, I was zooming by them. I remember at one point going in an arc motion, like around a bend. It seemed like a very long gradual arc. The arc shape travel was the most memorable of this travel, it was the most dramatic, and it's like going around a corner hard and being pushed towards the outside. Either around a left shaped arc, or right, it was not all straight travel. It was sort of like a tube due to the speed, like tunnel vision, there is no way to describe how incredibly fast it was. But it was very fluid and smooth, not at all jarring, and no vibrations, only speed and at least one arc. It was a ride and I wasn't in control of anything. I was wondering what was happening, I knew it was happening, but nothing like this has ever happened to me.

The feeling was that I was being taken somewhere by something. I was very surprised. It didn't seem to last long, but due to the speed, it seemed to take forever, as though I was aware of what a great distance I was covering. I went a great distance. It was as if I was strapped into a smooth but fast amusement park ride in a dark tunnel and all I could do is watch as things unfolded. I had no clue as to what was going on because it was completely new. All of the sudden I'm being taken somewhere very far and very fast. Where and how am I going? Then it all slowed way down to a calm float, the fast ride ended, the tunnel vision was gone. No more distance to cover. I am now 'here'. Now it is stillness and openness. Like I was now in the vast outer space, where I saw a great light, and I had an incredible sense of awareness, peace, and power. I came out of the tunnel and things were all opened up to a starry sky in outer space.

My spirit (like the part of me within my chest that can feel joy, excitement, or heartbreak) opened up too; it seemed to rapidly grow incredibly massive in size without any constraint. Like a helium balloon that quickly expands indefinitely but never bursts. I was not conscious of having a body, or arms or legs, I just felt this power deep within me, just below my field of vision like where my chest would be, but I sensed that this power expanded way out beyond a normal sized body. I was not walking, just floating, but it was very still. I saw beings standing there within a great white cloud backed by a white light. It was like they were standing on, and within this beautiful white cloud that was surrounded by light.

The cloud rose up among them, but it was more dense around their feet. It was like all awash in a beautiful and pure energy. They were in two rows in front of me forming a 'v' shape, perhaps seven on the left and three on the right. They were turned slightly towards me. They formed an aisle for me to go in between, like at a wedding, but the aisle narrowed as it got closer to this big ball of light that it was leading me to. The aisle was short and very wide, or spread apart, at its mouth. It was a little like a funnel shape, like they were funneling me into this light, and greeting me. I was being drawn into that aisle towards the bright sphere of light that was to their far side.

This sphere of light was intense, maybe four times the height of the beings, it was beaming out in every which way. It was a bit hazy, but they had white gowns from their neck down to their feet, pure white full-length gowns, and there were glistening gold accents around them. They had a human type form and their heads were uncovered. I did not make out faces, it was all like a glowing cloud, but at the same time, there were elements of sharp and acute sights, such as the shimmering of gold accents.

The gowns reached up to just beneath their heads, close around their necks like an old-fashioned nightgown style. The gowns were not snug around them but more flowing straight down beyond their feet. The gowns were not tapered, but more draped, with perhaps gentle length-wise waves. They were more like a traditional gown. They were very white like shimmering pearl, sort of like a satin effect, with maybe gentle folds. The same white material covered their arms, as well, down to their wrists. The arms were more tapered towards the ends of the wrists, but not tight, and completely elegant. It was a thing of pure beauty. This is like something I might see in an old-fashioned music box that held an elegant princess twirling that would cause a little girl to wonder as she listened to the music while watching the princess move.

These beings looked like and moved like women. They had a distinct feminine quality, a gracefulness, a gentleness, a fluidness. These were beautiful forms. They all were similar size and height, average to thin build, with the same flowing gowns with lighter colored heads - I don't know if it was skin or hair, it was rather hazy, but everything was very graceful. I don't even know who or what they were, but they were so wonderful to me, just wonderful. It was a tremendous spectacle of beauty and love. I have never felt so welcome in all my life and will never again until I go back. (In retrospect, this setting seemed to be organized, like it was an official greeting of me. How could this be? It didn't take me that long to get there, but it was like they were already ready for me.)

This was all extremely vivid and sharp, hyper-acute in my senses. All of the sounds, sights, and feelings, everything was hyper-intensified. Beyond the beings was the great white light, which was very bright but it didn't hurt my eyes. I was completely filled with peace, and like a spiritual chorus of joy, much deeper and broader than euphoria. My inner being was an enormous producer of power, from deep within me, from the deepest heart of my inner being was an immeasurable love and purity; I became a very source-generator of gushing purity and truth. This is the only power that is truth. Within me was an incredible replenishing of the power of goodness, expanding and flowing out. Like if suddenly I had flipped on a million spotlights pointing out from every direction, from inside of me, each having a trillion tons of force pushing the purity of love and truth, from every which way, as I slowly floated forward, ever increasing in goodness.

This power had a sense of warm liquid, bright pure light, calm and radiant but extremely immense, and intense, energy. It grew to be as large as the sky and ever bounding from within me. My inside grew outward. It was the only true power that I have ever felt. Everything else is a lie. It was like my inside was generating an incredible amount of love, peace, and light, and it was gushing and pushing out in all directions. Like the sun glowing and burning outward from within me, As if more than all of the electricity that has ever been is flowing out from deep within you. But it is a calm power, beaming out linearly, in every direction. Within me was a never quenching and ever growing sphere of pure love. It is truly unbound. It was so powerful. There was so much power. Like a trillion Hoover Dams generating pure love and beaming it out from within me. The power that I was granted in the next life is unthinkable in human form.

Finally, for once in my life, I was plugged-in, I belonged. I was hooked-in. It was right. This is where I'm meant to be! It was perfect. A chorus of beautiful female-voices rejoiced and sang my name gradually, 'P-a-u-l', with a wonderful harmony, and melody, repeating over and over. The most beautiful sound I have ever heard. Many different tones and levels all at once. To think that they were singing my name. This vocal music had many different layers and permeated everything. I was completely overwhelmed in my mind. I didn't at all understand what was happening. My mind had not yet caught-up to what was happening but it was so nice. I did not realize they were greeting me. I did not realize all this attention was for me, especially not for me only. Within myself I looked around confused, like maybe there was some other thing they were focusing on, it didn't sink in. I felt it was just something that was happening that I came upon as an observer, like I entered into the middle of something that was going on. It was all so foreign.

This situation I entered upon, in the next life, was for me. It was given to me. It is the greatest gift I have ever received. I did not realize that I was the 'guest of honor', or that this spectacle was about me. I looked back and I saw the earth suspended in the black outer space surrounded by faint stars, exactly as I've seen it from space imagery. Only when I saw the world from there, it did not seem grand at all, it seemed flat of power, and pointless. The surface of the dry land of the earth seemed dim-witted, bland of life, and monotonous. It was a meaningless and very subtle 'churn'. It was about the size of a Ping-Pong ball, maybe a little larger, and it was down low. It seemed far away, and void of purpose, a voice, or a soul. The sense was that if I went back to earth with this knowledge, that I would easily radically change the earth. Everyone would be in awe of this story that I would tell them, of visiting the afterlife. It's real! I saw it! I will share it with people! It will change everything!

But no, as I came back, it just keeps on turning. I never used to tell anyone about it, anyhow. The world seemed like a very easy thing to conquer and rule over from the perspective of Heaven, not in an evil way, but in a leadership way. I don't think this world is structured to know or care what the truth is. In fact, I believe that the truth is countered at every turn, and intentionally kept hidden by our base-level controllers and manipulators, who are the stewards of darkness. They wouldn't want us to have the knowledge that we hold claim to absolute freedom, which is accompanied by an enormous power, and true liberty. They would rather we looked down on ourselves as faulty, and defective, and in need of help and management by the 'enlightened ones'. And maybe we are all too willing to believe it.

This world is all about slavery and bondage, which begins in the spirit realm, where unaware humans aren't as savvy as our adversaries. In truth, as long as we strive to be kind, then we are perfectly imperfect, without the need of correction and management from our evil slave-masters with their 'perfecting of humans' 'Illumination' scheme. We were created imperfect, and striving for perfection is unnatural, and torture. So you can appreciate your imperfection as a thing of beauty and elegance, perfected already, by God. It was like I was on a slow moving conveyor belt and gradually moving closer-in through the beings dressed in white gowns. I was seeing this motif of the cloud, the beings, and the intense white light behind it, framed in the darkness of outer space, from the initial distance of about fifty feet.

Initially I was outside of this spectacle seeing it from within the vast darkness of outer space. But soon I was drawn into this sight, and among these beings. In between them and in the middle of this funnel, surrounded by them on the left and on the right. Now I was submerged right in the middle of these beings and the cloud. They were very close to me, like they closed in on me some, an approximate arm's length away, or closer. I was just looking around at them in a daze of wonderment. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever been among. They were so gracious to me. They were cherishing me. They moved very slowly, postured gracefully, they were in unison, very elegant. This whole moment was brimming with pure white light and the white cloud. I was immersed in this beauty. This is where the gold accents were most prominent, I don't know if they were gold instruments or what. I would occasionally see a flash or glare of gold, very sharp, but it didn't hurt my eyes.

I was in this white cloud among these beings slowly floating forward between them, where they became close in to me; they were viewing me in a greeting sense, and being among me, with me. They seemed to have a knowledge of what I was. Slowly floating ever closer to the bright light. I was automatically drawn-in to this great light. The sense of complete transformation and powerful goodness was ever increasing. I was being saturated with love and transforming into a new being. I got right up against that bright light to the point that all I could see is the bright light itself. Everything was going white as though I was slowly going past a threshold. I was beginning to enter into this light. It seemed as though I was beginning to morph into something else, something of complete grandeur, something extraordinary. Like the power was becoming so great, that even in this new state, that something about me was about to change dramatically.

In that moment, I realized exactly what was happening. It was a little like a short spiritual birth canal I was entering. I could feel a dramatic and sharp change beginning to take place. If I would have remained transitioning one moment longer, I believed that I never would have come back. It was so good, so complete, so right. I believed there was no way I would have chosen to come back if I got any further and I knew that in that instant. It was like I was being born. I officially began to transform into something else, which was the most wonderful and beautiful sensation: purity, warmth, beauty, love, power, peace, and knowing, to the infinite degree. I was about to change into a new being.

Words could never describe this pure and beautiful power that beamed and flowed and grew. It was as though I was becoming one with that light, entering into the light itself. I finally realized I was entering into what I knew of as 'Heaven', or a Heaven-like state. Initially I had confusion as to what was happening because it was so new, so fast, so different, and so vivid. The beings I saw seemed very accustomed to this. They were so natural. I assume that the great light was what we know of as 'God'. I was like I was being greeted into the pack, brought into my family, and born unto God. They loved me. The amount of appreciation for me was astonishing.

I realized what was happening and I guess you could say that I 'willed' myself back to earth. I reacted, and turned away immediately, like a turning and diving motion from within me. As soon as I sensed I was at the point of no return. I did not want to die from earth in that moment. It did not seem like the right time. My life seemed unfinished. My sudden death seemed unexpected and premature. It seemed 'not right'. I was surprised that I was dead from earth. It took me by surprise when I finally realized that my earth life had past, 'just like that, I'm here', and I was dead and gone from what I knew.

In your life, you wonder when you're going to die, and I was up there thinking, 'ok, so this is when I'm going to die, I'm dead right now, it already happened, the mystery is over, wow, that was quick and unexpected'. A truly strange perspective, in retrospect. These were rapid realizations that were occurring in my mind. Something big was transpiring and I was sorting it all out moment by moment, as it took place. I felt like I needed to act quickly and rashly. I made a conscious decision and effort to reject this at that time. A strange decision indeed, but it seemed like the thing to do. This is when I woke up, and someone from earth was there with me, calling my name into my ear. This is the most real, vivid, and powerful thing that has ever happened to me, by far. I am not afraid to die and I don't mourn for people who are dead.

There is no way I can convey the amount of power that was within me or how good it all felt. It is like I am a deaf mute, and have some specific concept that I desperately want someone else to grasp, but they can never. I surmise from this experience that I am an extremely important and valuable being, and, I don't believe that I'm any different than anyone else.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1986

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug or medication overdose. Other: Not sure, I was not under any care. Overdose

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw the earth, and felt it's lack of soul, from very far away. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Extremely vivid and acute senses.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was hyper sharp and intense, but at the same time soft and fluid.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I just heard very rich sounds that seem to saturate every level.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Tunnel vision through what seemed like outer space.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It seemed to be God, a sphere of great light, radiating.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Surprise, love, peace, power. It's really beyond emotions.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No It just felt super good, I was loved, but I still was coming to grips with it all.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I felt like I was about to pass through a threshold and into the light itself

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will .II .I believed that if I got farther that I couldn't have then chosen to come back, this was at the point of beginning to enter into that light.

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant I was raised strict Lutheran.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated I do not believe God is accurately represented by any organization on this planet.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience God, and the afterlife is real, but God is not a cruel ruler as represented in religions, he is happy and pure.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I was very particular of who I had as friends after. Everything changed, I knew what was going to happen after death, and this life lost meaning.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes The earth is separate from this afterlife, the earth is dead.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I don't see how the greatness of that white light could be anything other than God himself.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes There is definitely an afterlife, I was there.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes God makes you feel good.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes The earth seemed meaningless, and pathetic.

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I am very very loved, and love is incredibly powerful.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life It wrecked my life, I don't fit in or I don't feel compelled here. It seems empty right now and for a long time

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes .I'm probably more closed off deep inside, more isolated.

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Cannot describe the level of power and goodness.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember it as though it was yesterday, it's the most vivid thing I've ever experienced.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Visions, have known things ahead of time, have known things that shouldn't be possible for me to know.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The way I was greeted and welcomed was awesome for me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Only a couple people, several years later, and then none at all for two decades. They mostly didn't believe it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It took a while to sink in, but I was a changed person, there was confusion, isolation.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real .It was the most real thing that has ever happened to me.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It's all real. My Philosophy: Later on in my life, I figuratively tripped and fell and stumbled into one of these New Age Christian movements, where I experienced the most evil people I have ever met (as it turns out it was simply repackaged Freemasonry, which is sun worship, which follows the Luciferian doctrine, which is Satan worship). In reality, they viewed people as ignorant cattle, that were only worthy of being spiritually corralled then contained. The most sold-out rulers imaginable. This experience of my NDE, for example, is referred to as 'mysticism' in certain circles, which is the tapping into or interfacing with the spirit realm. Immoral people of this world attempt to, and do, tap into this realm, but on the dark side, in order to exercise dominion over others. This is freemasonry at it's core. It's known as 'craft'. I experienced this grotesque reality first-hand, directed at me personally, by the craft-practitioner rulers at this 'church'. This heinous experience led me to do copious amounts of research, and truth seeking, as to the true nature of the power and hierarchy structure of this world. I spent approximately six to eight hours a day for close to a year on this. How, having been face to face with such unearthly purity and beauty, could I have fallen for such base evil? I would say because nearly everything that I've been taught to believe in, from childhood on, is based on lies and I had a strong desire to have a purpose. Also evil does a pretty good job of mimicking something good until hell falls on your head and I had certain deficiencies in lifelong family relationships where I was setup to try and earn peoples approval from the beginning. If you're around an outhouse long enough you no longer notice the smell. I now believe that religions are lies and myths meant to control people. And that no religion that I know of truly represents the Great Spirit. Furthermore, I believe that most religions are 'fronts' for demonic activity, either directly or indirectly, knowing or unknowing. I don't think any of us truly know why we are here. And there are people going around telling others that they're going to burn in a fire forever. Or that God is going to look at our 'report card' when we die. Or that we're forever cursed. Or we should go make war with this group or that group. Or that God wanted people to chop-up animals by the thousands to make himself feel better. Or that God sent a God-man down here to mop-up our mess. Where did my religious book come from? Who compiled it, and under what historical setting, and for what purpose? Rome let this movement form right under their noses? 'Give to C'sar what is C'sar's'. What about the beginning of all this neatly coinciding with the beginning of the Age of Pisces, the Age of mercy, sacrifice, and of water and spirituality, and right around the time of the 'perpetual dictator of Rome', Julius C'sar ('J.C.' )? What about all the impossible things that occurred through unknown mystery narrators, with little or no independent historical corroboration? What about the immorality and blood? Us vs. Them. What about most of the stories being recycled pagan myths dredged-up from the millennia and renamed? How could I have been part of a religion my whole life and nobody ever explained to me the source of this book? Does the Great Spirit want himself sub-contracted out to evil rulers bent on complete control and domination? t's imagined that if you begin to question things, God may begin to growl like a Rottweiler as an intruder attempts to pry open the front door, and you may offend this temperamental fellow. If you sincerely want to use the brain that God gave you and investigate the origins of all your beliefs, you're looked at as being infested with some 'unbelief rash', brought on by that pesky Devil. And that God doesn't put-up with any smack-talk, you see, 'he's not mocked' and he'll flood you out or smite you for being 'created' such an ungrateful idiot. And he threatens you with eternal torture if you don't declare him your official mob-boss. God is watching everything you do, so you might as well spy on yourself, your thoughts, your speaking, your actions, so that you don't find yourself on the wrong side of his wrath and be punished with an awful car accident, or he might take one of your children, or something as simple as you might not get that new furniture set you've been shopping for. You see, that's his bad-side, but trust me, he also has a good side, too! We just have to be very careful to do everything the way he wants us to. Just think of it as a bank holdup at gunpoint. Just make sure you do everything exactly as you're instructed, and you'll get to live! It's wonderful! And don't forget to listen to your preacher who is going to tell you what and how to think, because God chose them specially, just for you! Oh yeah, and don't forget to generously add to the offering plate, unless that is, you want leukemia. This is also so that you can squeak by, and make it into heaven by the skin-of-your-teeth, and your beating will be less severe when you get there, at least your flesh won't be boiling and barbecued off your bones for eternity. Thank God, my loved one said the right words on their deathbed, so now they won't burn in an inferno for eternity! Just in the nick-of-time! What about that guy who was taken out swiftly in a car accident? He should have thought about that before. Or maybe it's your fault, you didn't take the time to try and convince him, and now his blood is on your hands. Way to go, I guess your trip to the beach was more important. THIS IS NOT GOD! This is the description of fear and darkness. God is not a demanding blood thirsty bi-polar control freak bent on balancing some 'sin balance sheet'. Pressure does not originate from him. Pressure is fear based which originates from darkness. God is supreme and not a petty spy. He isn't a vigilant behavioral scientist accountant or a karma thought police with a penchant for revenge tantrums. And he is not represented by the two-faced liar strutting around. If we don't do things his way, that means we're overtaken by a demon, and we risk the wrath of an angry god who may then allow the Devil to give us cancer even though He wishes He didn't have to allow it, He simply has no choice, we forced His hand! How convenient for our rulers. Talk about a tormenting trap. This is spiritual enslavement, that forces one to live in an altered state of consciousness, as well as a spiritual cesspool of confusion. Evil is real, but it comprises the very systems of this world, including religion. And the evil forces of this world are very efficient. This is one of the most hard earned conclusions of my life. It came at a very painful price. It's a scary proposition learning that you've been a spiritual lab-rat your whole life. I was so personally invested in this system that it was like the Twin Towers came crashing down on the inside of me. My very identity and essence was cashed-out, dust and rubble, and no plan. What I thought was my advocate, was my enemy, and a very cruel enemy at that. Moreover, the supreme being that I experienced and saw was nothing like what we're told. 'None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.' (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe). A savior died for our freedom, so why not a soldier? I should sacrifice myself for the common good. If I don't contribute to God's will there will be consequences. If I don't contribute to my rulers will, there will be consequences. God and my rulers require a percentage of my income so that they can do good. God and my rulers are more powerful than me, so, I must do what I am told, for my own good. If I don't do what God, or my rulers tell me, there will be consequences. If I rebel against God, or my rulers, I will be punished. God needs to correct me because history tells us that my kind are idiots and cause problems. My rulers need to correct me because history tells us that my kind are idiots and cause problems. Believe in their religious story or I'm evil. Believe in their patriotic story or I'm evil. 'Faith' is not my confidence in the supreme being's perfect characteristics and limitlessness. It is my ability to disconnect my brain into an altered state of consciousness, the more I'm able to disassociate with facts and reason, the more faith I have. And God will judge me according to what degree I can whip myself into a self induced brain-washed state. It's all test. The more I ignore things, and tune my mind over to this narrow focus, the more I trust God. My mental, emotional, and spiritual focus hardens into this state as my faith grows, the less I question things, the more I please God. You see, that mind God gave me, well, as it turns out it's dirty and naughty, so I'm not supposed to use that. If I could just do what I'm told by my spiritual advisor, to the point of being a grunting zombie, that would make God the happiest. I don't want to displease God, do I? If I question I am at risk. The founders of my religion were better and more godly than I. The founders of my country are better and more godly than I. God uses religion for some divine plan. God uses our rulers for some divine plan. The founders of my religion were more knowing than me. My rulers are more educated than me. My rulers created this country for us to be free, as God created the world for us to live. God told 'his people' to murder and steal resources because they were 'on the right side'. God encourages this country to make war and steal resources because it is 'on the ride side'. Religion promotes the 'good guys vs. the bad guys' in such a way that we don't notice that the bringers of this script are the oppressors. Our rulers control this never ending 'good guys vs. bad guys' script so that we don't notice that it is they who oppress us. God allows us to live in the world as our rulers allow us to live in this country. Our rulers protect the animals and the wildlife as God created them. I am to look up to my religious leaders as I am to look up to my political leaders. God has a chosen elect that are more important than others. If I don't acknowledge God's, or my ruler's authority, by doing what is advised, I will be destroyed. God and our rulers are watching what I do in case I screw up and need punishment. Being corrected by God or my rulers is for my benefit. It's so weird how God is so magically similar to our rulers. Are our rulers godlike, or is God manlike? The bottom line is, I am an absolute moron, born defective, and I am prone to incredible disaster unless I am tightly monitored, managed, and under the strictest of authority by someone who is smarter and more powerful than me. I guess we just ought to sit down and shut up, and be thankful that we're not in jail, or in hell. I am beneath a baboon and am prone to disgusting God to the point of justifiable genocide. I spend my whole life trying to abide by God's, and my ruler's, imposed standards. My religious beliefs seamlessly mirror the way I'm ruled. How convenient for those in power.

Religion is infiltration for nationalistic programming under the guise of independent benevolence. Moreover, religion is a mechanism for stirring and capturing adoration for forces of darkness, thereby empowering the same. It is the biggest scam going and allows our slave masters the ability to program entire continents of peoples. The 'church' is the initial dove through which the rulers become the lion. This is spiritual captivity and bondage through mass deception, all in the name of love, and care. This type of deception is just dripping with glee-inducing invisible foes from the spirit realm. People lap-up this confusing garbage because they are desperate for answers due to their incredibly confusing circumstances of being a human. How did we get here, why are we here, what happens to us when we die? This is how religious movements and leaders cast spells on the masses. The rulers come to own their very essence, their very beings, with mass directed deception, fear, and control, all in the spirit realm, all in the name of goodness, all lies. They claim to have the answers and get their hooks into us at a very early age. These sick and twisted perverts, who are backed by the forces of darkness, unwittingly to us become our spiritual fathers. This is spiritual date rape, and occupation, on a mass scale. Moreover, the world-ruler's system of ruling the masses encompasses spiritually, politically, financially, and militarily - they will not allow one facet to escape their control. I believe that this ruling system is very old and is perpetrated from the very top, from behind the scenes throughout history (Sumeria, Egypt), and into today (Rome via the empire of The City). Many participating within this system have no idea what they are truly involved in - most are good intentioned, many are not. ""A theory that a conspiracy has been working consciously for many centuries is not very plausible unless one attributes to them a religious unity. That is tantamount to regarding them as Satanists engaged in the worship and service of supernatural evil. The directors of the conspiracy must see or otherwise directly perceive manifestations which convince them of the existence and power of Lucifer. And since subtle conspirators must be very shrewd men, not likely to be deceived by auto-suggestion, hypnosis, or drugs, we should have to conclude that they probably are in contact with a force of pure evil.""(Prof. Revilo P. Oliver, Conspiracy or Degeneracy?, USA).

“The individual is handicapped by coming face to face with a conspiracy so monstrous he cannot believe it exists."(J. Edgar Hoover).

Nobody knows more than the other. Nobody is closer to God than the other. This world is an astonishing contrast to the next life. People are taught to fear God which causes people to live in fear. When people are in fear they are easier to control. This world is all about having power over other people which is the very essence of evil (AKA Black Magic, witchcraft, sorcery).

'To be GOVERNED is to be watched, inspected, spied upon, directed, law-driven, numbered, regulated, enrolled, indoctrinated, preached at, controlled, checked, estimated, valued, censured, commanded, by creatures who have neither the right nor the wisdom nor the virtue to do so. To be GOVERNED is to be at every operation, at every transaction noted, registered, counted, taxed, stamped, measured, numbered, assessed, licensed, authorized, admonished, prevented, forbidden, reformed, corrected, punished. It is, under pretext of public utility, and in the name of the general interest, to be place[d] under contribution, drilled, fleeced, exploited, monopolized, extorted from, squeezed, hoaxed, robbed; then, at the slightest resistance, the first word of complaint, to be repressed, fined, vilified, harassed, hunted down, abused, clubbed, disarmed, bound, choked, imprisoned, judged, condemned, shot, deported, sacrificed, sold, betrayed; and to crown all, mocked, ridiculed, derided, outraged, dishonored. That is government; that is its justice; that is its morality.'(Pierre Joseph Proudhon).

What I experienced in the afterlife is nothing like anything I've ever heard associated with any religion or church, in fact, quite the opposite. Religions teach of a false god that is not the true God of the afterlife, but probably a demonic entity in itself, who they pose as the true God. Meanwhile, they are binding and captivating the masses, to their spiritual destruction. They tape off their eyes and mouth, fill in their ears with lies, and tightly bind their wrists and ankles. Then they bring them all together so everyone can celebrate how free they are.