I was climbing a mountain which was so steep that I was climbing it on my knees and hands. There was no noise. There was a very bright light at the top of the mountain, and a very strange and frightening darkness coming up the mountain, which looked very menacing and was so dark that you could not see anything.
I only had one thought in my mind. Climb to the top, to the light before the darkness comes. If the darkness comes and catches me up, I will not be able to come back.
I felt the presence of several entities who were watching me and encouraging me. I also felt the presence of entities who were coming from the darkness trying to catch me.
It was an extremely terrifying event.
I had flashbacks of this event for years after it happened although I forgot all about it for a while.
It stopped when a man had thrown me on the floor of the hospital, was sitting over me, was slapping me and was shouting very loudly, 'Wake up, Wake up, and Wake up!' He stopped slapping and shouting at me when I reacted although I did not see him. I heard him, felt his presence on top of me, and lost consciousness again. It took me a week to fully come back to consciousness.
Date NDE Occurred: October 1985
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I had a major surgery operation.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes After that experience, the medical doctor reviving me was on top of me and I was on the floor. He was slapping me, and shouting, 'wake up wake up wake up.' He stopped when I reacted. I did not see him. I heard him and felt the weight of his body lifting from my body. He was happy because he had resuscitated me.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I can't explain it. I just know. The level of consciousness and alertness is about ten times more than during life. Also you feel things and know things and sense things and people that you can't on this planet. And you know what to do and how to do it.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was at the mid-way section of the mountain it was strange because it was a tiny mountain, like a very narrow mount and I could see three quarters of the mount. It was narrow, straight up, and soft but I could get hold onto the mount and I needed to climb fast and not stop, it was a race, I was extremely frightened of the darkness. I did not know why I was so frightened but I knew that I had to reached the top of the mountain before the darkness came otherwise it would be too late. The nice entities who were encouraging me were saying nothing, I could not see them, but I knew they were watching me and I could feel their presence and encouragement. The nasty entities who were coming from and with the darkness were cold, noiseless, swift, fast approaching, and dangerous. I did not know why there were dangerous. I just knew it. I knew that the nice entities could not reach me and help me but they were there. They were not afraid of the nasty entities, but they could not help. However, they stayed watching and encouraging me by their presence. I did not see myself reaching the top, I only saw myself concentrating on climbing and watching the ground, gaining as much ground to reach the top as possible.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time has no meaning in that dimension. Time does not exist. Things happen all at once. There is no notion of time. I needed to avoid the darkness catching me. I needed to be fast. But I had no notion of time. Just of moving fast.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Things are sharper, clearer and clearer cut. There was no colors. Just darkness and light. No noise. But the light is so bright, and the darkness so dark.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Total silence. No noise at all. The whole event was noiseless. Absolute silence.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain It was more a mountain but tiny and long and steep. I did not have time to see if it was a tunnel but the vision was like in a tunnel. A very small field of view.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes At the second event. At the first event, no.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A very bright and powerful and blinding light. The only other time I saw a bright light like this was when I was sleeping one night. I was woken up by my deceased stepfather and the bed shook. I found myself sitting on the bed, could not see anything, and heard my stepfather saying, 'Go to church, go to church.' It took me a few minutes to be able to see and hear where I was, and my ex-partner was fast asleep next to me. The bed shook for me, and the bright light was there even though it was in the middle of the night, at 3am! It was the same bright light. So I went to church.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm When climbing the mountain, it was a narrow and long mountain which was and felt strange. It could not exist in that shape on Earth. Everything is different from normal dreams. I had loads of normal and nice dreams. I never have nightmares. They are different. It's a different dimension. I have no idea how I ended up there. Probably death I guess. But it's different.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was terrified. I was so frightened. Flashbacks of this event occurred for years up to 2000 (that's for fifteen years after the event) until I understood. I described to my mother, who was a nurse, what happened. Now I don't have flashbacks anymore. I have fully understood it, and I'm at peace. I'm not frightened to go to sleep. For years I was worried I would not wake up the next morning.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I don't know why or how, but I knew what to do, who to follow, how to do it, and I just did it. I climbed the mount fast and stayed in the light area.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I was on a little mountain or mount. I needed to reach the top. I did it but did not see the top. Just light. The more I climbed, the more I was enveloped by the bright light. The bright light protected me against the darkness.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will Reaching the top meant I would be saved and safe. That was all that mattered. If the darkness reached me and enveloped me, I would be lost forever. That's all I knew and that was enough.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was an atheist and did not believe in anything. That experience changed it although I stayed out of any church system. Only when the 2nd experience happened did I go to church and fully understood the 1st experience.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin No voice, not seeing anything, but the friendly and nice beings were there supporting me. They could not help me, but they encouraged me, and kept telling me (but not in voices, they were communicating through telepathy) to reach the top and be in the light before the darkness comes. I was at the border between the darkness and the light. I needed to reach the light at the top of the little mountain as the light was receding and the darkness was gaining ground. The nice being extended the light to cover me against the darkness, but they could not extend the light more. I needed to move fast to stay in the lighted area. As soon as I stayed in the lighted area, I was safe. If the darkness gained on me and caught me, I would not be safe anymore but lost.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes But a different event. I was in bed years later and my dead stepfather woke me up in the middle of the night. I heard him and saw the bright light again. He told me to go to church. So I did.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I "knew" these beings, they "looked" familiar. I could not explain how and why but I "knew" them and I was under the impression that I had "met" them before. It gave me the impression that my "life" is a journey like an experiment. Still today I know that
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes 1st event yes these beings are there and do exit
2nd event yes my stepfather came back to protect me and he was right I was nearly killed by my ex, and the convent sisters protected me and morally. My Godmother when I joined the Catholic church was one o
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God does not exist
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes The nice beings they protect you.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew who to trust and who to avoid and flee from. I knew the darkness beings are not nice and to be avoided at all costs. You cannot be near them or close to them. You need to stay with the light beings at all costs.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes When you die you've got a choice either light or darkness.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably does not exist
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes there are 2 camps the darkness camp and the light camp. They don't like each other and fight each other with light and darkness.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes You just need to call on these beings and they protect you even on Earth. But they help you helping yourself.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I had to climb the mountain and stay in the light area and escape the approaching darkness
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes these beings help and protect you. They care for you.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I'm more at peace, more balanced, and a better person.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I understand people better and left my ex eventually.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Language is restrictive and cannot explain all of it. When you are on this level of consciousnesses, you feel things and sense things that are difficult to describe in simple words.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience The memory is different and very much alive.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can predict things sometimes.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Fifteen years afterwards I shared it with my mother.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was really real but I forgot about it. It came back in dreams, though, and through flashbacks.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I'm very alert at night. More than before the experience.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Twice in two other similar experiences. The second experience was in bed with a bright light. The bed shook and my stepfather called me.
The third experience was when shopping. My Godmother talked to me and informed me that I was cured of gluten and lactose sensitivity after a year of avoiding them.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I had two more experiences.
The first time when my father came to wake me up fifteen years later, I saw the same light and told me to go to church. He's a nice being now. He protects me. He saved me from being killed by my ex, actually.
The second time was when I was shopping. My now-deceased Godmother (who helped me enter the Catholic Church and was a nun) told me I was cured of gluten and lactose sensitivity and I was. She died of cancer more than a year ago. She's a nice being now. She still cares for me, and she protects me.