Experience Description

I went into labor and then had to have an emergency cesarean section. It went bad. I was drowning in the fluids of my own body and from the childbirth. I was a chain smoker and I couldn't breathe. Then I saw a bright white light - beautiful, peaceful - and I was being drawn into the light, but I was being held back for some reason, like it was not my time. I heard the nurse say, 'Show her baby to her; it could be for the last time.' I didn't want to 'come back' to life. Where I was it was so peaceful and I wanted to stay there, I was not afraid.

Six years later, I had another child and that erased the fear of death for me. I had a daughter. I had no problem with the pregnancy. When I had the near death experience, I became a believer, but not a strong believer. My husband was humbled, he hadn't believed in God or heaven much at all. Since that time, there have been more hurtful and painful experiences in my life, and I wonder why I was not allowed to die on May 28th, twenty-three years ago, only to be left here living a life of emotional hell. But I understand; I have a greater purpose, and that is to live the best life I can, no matter what happens on Earth. I watch life around me and wonder about how pathetic people are, and how their lives would/could be so much better if they would just let go of their egos and let the love of our God lead their hearts and heal their pain.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: May 28 1987

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) amniotic embolism

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was aware of dying as I was pulled toward the light. It was so blissful and peaceful. I was so calm. I didn't want to go 'back' but I was told to. I saw my grandmother's essence and it felt like she was saying, 'Not now, go back.' I was sad. I didn't want to be back here.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Somewhat, in terms of solidness/transparency of objects, but colors were the same, and brightness and depth, all the same.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I felt it was my mother's mother - her essence.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was bright, peaceful, comforting, not blinding, greeting, welcoming.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm heavenly environment---oneness

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peaceful, calm, quiet, restful, interested, observant, loving, accepting.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist Christian

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Much better. I learned so much from it.

What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Much better. I learned so much from it.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I feel left out, because most look at me as if I am not 'with them.' I have stopped telling my story, unless people are really interested, or I might mention it if I've heard similar near death stories - like the ones on TV or the book '90 Minutes in Heaven'.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I know when something BIG is going to happen a day before it happens. I knew 9/11 was going to happen the week before it happened and I told many people that something BIG and very BAD is going to happen soon. Again, I have thought this days before recent floods, and before plane crashes - I just know.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It is hard for others to understand - except for Christians or others with a near death experience. Some people think it's just brain activity, which takes place at the time of trauma. That disgusts me - they think they know, but they don't understand.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was pulled back. And later I was told there had been a prayer chain from Massachusetts to New Jersey started by my family members and friends - everyone was told I was dying during child birth.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I just know. And I've explained this above.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? My son needs to understand at a deeper level what happen to me when he was born. I needed to bring this story to light somehow, for him.